Friday, April 17, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

There’s plenty of humor on the other side of 50

By
From page OSF2 | December 13, 2012 |

Like many columnists, I am an observer of life. I try to report it as I see it.

Of course, that is from the perspective formed by my life experiences, which color my perception.

I try to share the humor I have experienced. I try not to share too much of the negative things I see. But negative things are facts of life and need to be reported as well.

This column is about the humor that surrounds growing older.

My friend Pat Stonsby is a regular supplier of Internet humor. For example, Pat frequently sends me “Maxine” cartoons and related material.

I love Maxine. She frequently reflects my feelings about the attitudes of the “non-aged” toward us oldsters.

With good intentions, many folks look down on us as if we are “spent” and have nothing left to offer. Everyone else knows better what is good for us.

I have personally experienced folks with that attitude. The tendency is to look at us only for the things we can no longer do well; when we are far superior to young folks on the things we still can do. They do not appear to be interested in learning from us.

Maxine tells it the way it is. She represents the “growing older” group with realism. In a recent email, Pat sent me a rather long statement from Maxine. It is called “Health Message from Maxine.” If you are an aged person, you will probably find it hilarious.

You can discover why she believes it is better to live the “Tortoise Life” than take all the exercise advice young folks heap on us.

Here are a few thoughts from Maxine:

• “God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked and the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”

• “Now that I’m older, here’s what I discovered. I started out with nothing and still have most of it.”

• “I finally got my head together and my body is falling apart.”

• “Some days you’re the dog and some days you’re the hydrant.”

• “I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.”

There are many more senior thoughts you will laugh at. Google “Health Message from Maxine” and click on the Sodahead version.

I guarantee you’ll love it. If you are like me, you will see a lot of yourself in what Maxine has to say. That’s what makes it so funny.

Let me know what you think. I am always interested in humorous senior experiences. Send them to me.

Murray Bass can be reached at 427-0744 or [email protected]

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 1 comment

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Jones sabo that is only part one of a twoApril 14, 2013 - 4:00 pm

    Its superb as your other blog posts : D, appreciate it for posting . "Too much sensibility creates unhappiness too much insensibility leads to crime." by Charles Maurice de Talleyrand.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

Show features 3 men, 21 guitar strings, Bach

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Scores attend workshop on Fairfield Train Station

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1, 20 Comments | Gallery

Director brings light, humor to ‘Picnic’

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
State moves to install barrier on Delta channel

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
Young inventors test catapult-making skills

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Military brats made memories

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

 
 
Women in Action to host bunco bash

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

Il Fiorello all-in for chocolate favorites

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B3

 
Kroc Center hosts 1st science fair

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Judge provides update on status of Solano courts

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A4 | Gallery

County to host warehouse sale of surplus items

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

 
Total Home, Garden and Outdoors Show starts

By Ian Thompson | From Page: B11 | Gallery

 
Weather for Friday, April 17, 2015

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B12

Fairfield police log: April 15, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: April 15, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Office worker arrested for posing as dentist

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Standardized tests to be taken on computers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

National Guardsmen charged with selling arms

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Drought is apparent cause for death of hundreds of elk

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Auction house cancels internment camp art auction

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

WikiLeaks creates online archive of hacked Sony documents

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
 
Homeland chief: Gyrocopter came in ‘under the radar’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Amid chaos, Al-Qaida consolidates hold of Yemen province

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Thousands flee as IS group advances on Iraq’s Ramadi

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Putin confident on economy, offers to mend ties with West

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Coast Guard makes seizure of 14 tons of cocaine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Living

Today in history: Friday, April 17, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: April 17, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: April 17, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
My son’s new girlfriend is insisting we sever ties with his former flame

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Week in preview April 17-23, 2015

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
 
New ‘Star Wars’ teaser, cast information revealed at event

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Kim Richards of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ arrested

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Sarah Jessica Parker returns to HBO with comedy ‘Divorce’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Entertainment Calendar: April 17, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

 
Ari Millen multiplies as male clones on ‘Orphan Black’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
.

Sports

Prep girls soccer: Breeden lifts Vanden to 1-1 tie with Benicia

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

 
Prep softball: Vikings sail to 12-1 win over Falcons

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

Rodriguez earns 9-6 badminton win over Armijo

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

 
More changes likely for Kings after another losing season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Warriors? Cavs? Spurs again? No clear NBA Finals favorite

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Phelps wins 100 butterfly at 1st meet in 8 months

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

JC baseball: Falcons lose battle for first to Mariners

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

 
Middle School soccer: Green Valley boys, girls sweep PSA

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

Prep swimming: Indians swim well, get swept by Wildcats

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

 
Prep boys golf: Mustangs fall to Crushers in MEL play

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

 
NBA players to be tested for HGH starting next season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

NFL reinstates Adrian Peterson from suspension

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Reports: Top prospect Kris Bryant headed to the Cubs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Spieth struggles in 1st round after Masters win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
NBA sets attendance record with nearly 22 million fans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Jewell Loyd taken first in WNBA draft by Seattle

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Giants rallies fall short in 7-6 loss to Dbacks in 12

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Coroner: Ex-NFL running back’s cellmate death ruled homicide

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Thief steals sneakers from Boston Marathon bombing survivors

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
This date in sports history for Friday, April 17, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Signups for Friday, April 17, 2015

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

 
NFL reinstates Adrian Peterson from suspension

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

Woman who accused Winston of rape files lawsuit against him

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

 
.

Business

 
Scion youth looks to sedan, hatchback to revive sales

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

Obama signs overhaul of how Medicare pays doctors

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
More Americans sought unemployment benefits last week

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

US home construction off to weak March start

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Apple digs in on green with China solar, US forest projects

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

VW recalls Chrysler-made minivans to fix ignition switches

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Financial incentives OK’d for workplace wellness programs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Yahoo chooses to stay with Microsoft in updated search deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Nissan expands air bag recall after Louisiana injury

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

.

Obituaries

Richard F. Coleman

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Reginald M. Davis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9