Saturday, April 18, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Turning brass into gold

Maureen Dowd

By
From page A11 | November 23, 2012 |

The flesh is weak, but the spirit of commerce is willing.

The sexy part of Washington’s newest sex scandal has waned. The crass part is cranking up.

As The New York Times’ Scott Shane writes: “The major players have hired high-profile, high-priced representatives to manage the fallout, watch for legal trouble, police the press and massage damaged reputations.”

And, no doubt, pave the way for book deals, cushy jobs and TV apologias in honeyed light with Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters.

The tears and lip gloss started flowing Tuesday at a press conference at the Ritz-Carlton here featuring a distraught twin, a befuddled press corps and Gloria Allred, the feminist avenger last seen tormenting Herman Cain over sexual harassment charges.

One minute you’re the Boy Scout CIA chief, or the Dudley Do-Right general poised to be the next Supreme Allied Commander in Europe. The next you’re in trouble with your wife, your career is a late-night chew toy, and you’re headed to Allred’s Wikipedia page to join such headlines as: “Gloria Allred: Tiger Woods’ True Opponent?,” ”Roman Polanski Hit by Fresh Sex Allegations,” ”Gloria Allred Seeks Rush Limbaugh Prosecution,” ”Porn Star Says Representative Weiner Asked Her to Lie,” and “Attorney Gloria Allred Now Connected to Causeway Cannibal Case.”

The news conference with Allred and her latest curvy client, Natalie Khawam, Jill Kelley’s identical saturnine twin, was so weird it was hard to figure out if it was real, a Bravo pilot or a Lifetime Christmas movie in search of a good miracle.

”My sister Jill and I aren’t just twins, we’re best friends, literally inseparable,” said Khawam, wearing a demure navy dress and navy suede 4-inch heels with gold trim.

She continued: “We played varsity tennis together. She played net and I served.” (Don’t you have to alternate?)

With tears streaming down her cheeks, she went on: “We also played softball together. She was the catcher and I pitched. We love to cook together. I usually bake and she sautes. We used to study together. I loved math. She loved science, and she excelled in chemistry. We love to play piano and play chess.”

It was not clear why the twin, described by Allred as “a whistle-blower attorney,” was oversharing and then withholding. The two women called a press conference to not comment on the scandal that is the only reason anyone turned up at the press conference.

The soap opera Stephen Colbert calls “General’s Hospital” was sparked by Kelley, who got an FBI friend in Tampa to pursue an investigation of Paula Broadwell’s taunting, jealous, anonymous emails, and who sent thousands of pages of emails herself to Gen. John Allen – a handful of which were sexually explicit enough to hold up his promotion.

Natalie had a cameo role, voguing with the generals and their wives and persuading “King David” Petraeus and Allen, the top NATO commander in Afghanistan, to write letters in a bruising custody case as she fought her ex-husband – a honcho in the Iraq occupation – over their baby son.

Reporters, trying to fathom why they were there, asked Khawam and Allred a plethora of questions. But it seems that Natalie, who gingerly entered arm-in-arm with Gloria, just wanted everyone to know that she has filed an appeal to try to reverse a decision giving sole custody to her ex, after a D.C. judge deemed that Natalie had lodged “sensational accusations” against her former husband and was “a psychologically unstable person.”

In the “Military-Adulterous Complex,” as Time called it, the twin sisters and Broadwell were not shy about using their access to top generals to advance their own agendas.

Adam Victor, CEO of TransGas Development Systems in New York, told reporters that Kelley – who swanned around Tampa and the MacDill Air Force Base, home to Centcom, as a trompe l’oeil diplomat for South Korea – had offered to set up a natural gas deal in South Korea in return for an $80 million commission.

“Kelley made it clear to me that Gen. Petraeus put her in this position and that’s why she was able to have access to such senior levels that they were essentially doing a favor for Gen. Petraeus,” Victor, who balked at the ludicrous $80 million, told ABC News’ Brian Ross.

Ross also reported that Broadwell grabbed the brass ring, starring in an infomercial for a company trying to gain military contracts for “strange-looking lightweight machine guns.”

”Watchdog groups say the use of Broadwell was a brilliant move by a company seeking an edge in Washington,” Ross said.

The military might want to have its future stars read Jane Austen as well as Grant and Rommel. “Pride and Prejudice” is full of warnings about the dangers of young ladies with exuberant, flirtatious, “unguarded and imprudent” manners visiting military regiments and preening in “all the glories of the camp.”

Such folly and vanity, the ever wise Elizabeth Bennet cautioned, can lead to censure and disgrace.

Maureen Dowd is a columnist for The New York Times.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Child care program helps teen parents, students

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1, 5 Comments | Gallery

 
 
 
Wood students entertain guests at Epcot

By Susan Hiland And Susan Winlow | From Page: A2

 
 
 
Solano County Science Fair continues to grow

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Take stock of where you are now, and act

By Murray Bass | From Page: B8

 
Fairfield police log: April 16, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Suisun City police log: April 16, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Weather for Saturday, April 18, 2015

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B10

.

US / World

Family awarded rights to rare coins

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Dog flu outbreak sweeps across the Midwest

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments

 
AG announces anti-bias training program

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
 
Iraqi officials believe Saddam’s top deputy killed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Germany mourns citizens lost in plane crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Following Alps crash, debate over pilotless planes heats up

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

.

Opinion

Time for meaningful financial reform

By Paul A. Volcker | From Page: A8, 4 Comments

 
 
.

Living

Today in history: Saturday, April 18, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: April 18, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

My daughter is upset that I didn’t attend my former in-law’s funeral

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

 
Horoscopes: April 18, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

Idea from Adam Sandler film used to soothe dementia patients

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
.

Entertainment

.

Sports

Armijo nears girls soccer title with 2-0 MEL win

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

 
SCAC girls roll past MEL 55-28 in All-Star hoops game

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

SCAC boys slip past MEL in entertaining All-Star game

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Athletics fall to Royals 6-4 in rematch of AL wild-card game

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Warriors, Pelicans enter series with different pedigrees

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Prep softball: Seldon powers Rodriguez to victory over Armijo

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

JC baseball: Falcons win as Pavlovsky, Evans homer

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

 
Prep badminton: Mustangs roll to 15-0 win over Wolves

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

Prep baseball: Haney hurls Vanden to 3-2 win over Benicia

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

 
Rockhold hopes win over Machida launches him into contention

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Martina Hingis to make singles comeback in Fed Cup match

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Injured Giants fan throws out first ball in San Jose

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Flyers fire head coach Craig Berube after 2 seasons

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Hornets GM Cho: Stephenson ‘didn’t work like we expected’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Brazil eyes historic medal haul in 2016 Rio Olympics

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
2 weeks before Mayweather-Pacquiao, not a ticket to be seen

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Big Ten’s Delany lays out plan for freshman ineligibility

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Collmenter shuts down Giants, gets three hits in D-backs win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Merritt’s 61 trumps Masters champion Spieth’s 62

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

2 minor league baseball teams to test game with 5-pitch rule

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
NBA could alter schedule, but no change to playoffs, lottery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Coonan stepping down as Santa Clara’s athletic director

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel says he “let down” fans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

49ers fullback Miller at home in Georgia after March arrest

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Before ruling out an upset in NBA East, listen to these guys

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Western Conference teams face perilous path to NBA Finals

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
This date in sports history for April 18

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Back on the USA Network: Sports return with NHL playoffs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

 
.

Business

Frederick’s of Hollywood reveals closing of retail stores

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Don’t plan to line up for Apple Watch next week

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Glaxo recalls flu vaccine due to potency problem

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5, 4 Comments

California home prices hit new 7-year high, sales rebound

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Secrecy shrouds decade-old oil spill in Gulf of Mexico

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

Douglas Craig Sparks

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7