Friday, August 29, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Teen entitled to be a brat

navarrette column sig

By
From page A11 | March 13, 2014 |

SAN DIEGO — Mexicans have a graphic saying that should serve as a warning to today’s parents, not only south of the border but also in the United States. It loosely translates as: “If you raise crows, they’ll scratch out your eyes.”

Believe it. Just ask Sean and Elizabeth Canning of Lincoln Park, N.J. Their 18-year-old daughter, Rachel, is now perhaps the most famous spoiled brat in America. She is also the epitome of what is referred to as the Millennial generation but really ought to be rebranded “Generation E” – for entitlement.

The Cannings seem to have been in denial that they had raised a crow until they got served with legal papers.

Rachel is suing her parents for support. Having left home (either because she ran away or because she was kicked out, depending on whose version you believe), she asked a court to declare that she is “unemanicipated” and order her parents to pay tuition for her private high school, cover her living expenses until she can support herself, and spring for her college education. She also wants mom and dad to cover her legal bills. You know, the ones she incurred by suing them.

Maybe Rachel’s parents do owe some restitution – not to her but to the rest of society. They seem to have helped her get off course.

Sean Canning, a former police chief, admits that he was better at laying down the law with the officers under his command than with his own daughter.

“I’m a liberal, liberal parent,” Sean told the New York Post. “I wish I could have grown up in my house.”

You have to wonder if the chief has figured out that, with young people, being too lenient often does more harm than being too strict.

From media reports, it seems that the Cannings wanted to raise a child with a lot of self-esteem.

Mission accomplished. When you sue your own parents, you’re no shrinking violet. The trouble is, what Rachel Canning has is what psychologists call “cheap” self-esteem. The real thing comes from striving, failing, persevering and eventually succeeding – not from having your parents clear a path for you.

When the Cannings finally demanded that Rachel do chores and adhere to a midnight curfew, she rebelled.

Of course. You set rules and expectations for your kids when they’re 8, not when they’re 18. By then, they’re accustomed to doing what they want.

Rachel got the money to file the lawsuit – $12,000 – from the parents of a friend. John and Amy Inglesino say they’re footing the bill, and letting Rachel stay in their home, because they want to see the young woman realize her potential.

If there is an unspoken code between parents, the Inglesinos have demolished it.

At this point, the Cannings claim that they just want to put their family back together.

“We love our daughter,” Sean Canning told the Post. “She’s our pride and joy. The door is wide open. We want her to come home.”

That’s another mistake. Rachel made her choice, and now she has to live with the consequences.

Recently, a Superior Court judge denied the request for private school tuition and living expenses. Another hearing will take place in April to decide whether the Cannings have to pay for college. Rachel moved back in with her parents Tuesday night.

Let this be a cautionary tale. Too many parents are lost. They set out to care for their children and wind up coddling them, which only makes their offspring whiny and weak. Before long, the kid is convinced that the adults – parents, teachers, ministers, coaches, etc. – are nothing more than a fleet of personal assistants whose only job is to ensure that the precious little darling experiences a constant state of bliss.

Too many parents today seem to be traumatized by how strict their own parents were, and they’re determined to do the opposite. They obsess over whether their kids are happy, indulge every whim, and strive to be their child’s “BFF.” Before long, the kid loses respect for them and pushes them around. Every day, at Little League games or school events, I see parents bullied by their kids. A few are being outright terrorized.

You know the rules. You don’t negotiate with terrorists.

Ruben Navarrette is a columnist for U-T San Diego. Reach him at ruben@rubennavarrette.com.

Ruben Navarrette

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 1 comment

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • patrickMarch 13, 2014 - 1:31 pm

    set the brat free. have her join the army. she is responsible for herself. the military will give her all that she desires including self respect.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

Vallejo Symphony launches new season Sept. 21

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Opponents: State water plan will destroy Delta

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1, 5 Comments | Gallery

New role for symphony conductor begins next year

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Prolific pears rule Courtland area

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

1 critical after 2 shot at Fairfield bus stop

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A1, 18 Comments | Gallery

 
Dare Devil Chaos Coaster set for Six Flags debut in 2015

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Vallejo festival will celebrate Wilderness Act anniversary

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Hood-Courtland: Small towns boast interesting facts

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1

 
Suisun police plan holiday weekend checkpoint

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 2 Comments

No plea as Vacaville homicide suspect appears in court

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3, 7 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Vacaville man convicted of fifth DUI

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3, 7 Comments

 
 
Solano continues to deal with earthquake

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
 
Bunting earns praise for role in paint case

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A5

Fairfield police log: Aug. 27, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A8

 
Suisun City police log: Aug. 27, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A8

Weather for Aug. 29, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B14

 
.

US / World

Mom won’t be charged in school confrontation

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
California Supreme Court pick confirmed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Assembly approves statewide ban on plastic bags

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
Feds to resume leasing for fracking in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

High school buddies followed similar path to jihad

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Drugs killed Oklahoma inmate in troubled execution

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

4 killed in New Mexico crash of medical flight

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
US rebukes Oklahoma for ditching school standards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Suit claims police brutality at Ferguson protests

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

 
Flight diverts to Boston over reclined-seat upset

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

Testimony wraps up in former Va. governor trial

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Q&A: Few laws govern children at shooting range

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Gun tourism grows in popularity in recent years

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Obama sets no timeline for action on immigration

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

Obama rules out US military action in Ukraine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
UN Security Council meets on Ukraine crisis

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Russian columns enter Ukraine; leader urges calm

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
UN: Ebola disease caseload could reach 20,000

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

Attempt to call missing jet may alter search area

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

 
Europe seeks role in postwar Gaza

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

UN: Armed group detains 43 peacekeepers in Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
A look at the Islamic State militants in Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

Jihadists kill dozens of captured Syrian soldiers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
.

Opinion

How about keeping our ISIS plan secret?

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11, 23 Comments

 
Question of the week: Is US policy on hostages correct?

By Daily Republic | From Page: A11

 
What should the US do about the Islamic State?

By Ben Boychuk and Joel Mathis | From Page: A11, 3 Comments

More ways to help stop bullies

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Aug. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Aug. 29, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

How do I deal with my overweight cousin who smells like cat urine?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B13, 1 Comment

 
Horoscopes: Aug. 29, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B13

.

Entertainment

Week in preview Aug. 29-Sept. 4

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Review: ‘As Above’ so-so

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Review: Ex-007 actor spying again in ‘Nov. Man’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Review: The case against binge-watching TV

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Entertainment calendar: Aug. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

 
Jolie, Pitt wed privately at chateau in France

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
.

Sports

Prep football preview: Rio Vista looks to get back to playoffs

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Angels rally in 10th for 4-3 win over Oakland

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Record-setting Petit leads Giants past Rockies 4-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Borland returns pick for TD, 49ers beat Texans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

Carr’s 3 TDs lead Raiders past Seahawks 41-31

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
USC coach accepts some blame in Shaw situation

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Williams overcomes 3 early double-faults to win at U.S. Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Mickelson in a bind with 4 straight playoff events

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Weakened US team aims for world basketball title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Rise in flags makes NFL defenders wary of contact

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

After Rice, NFL increases domestic violence bans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Local youngster will play baseball on national stage

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B9, 1 Comment | Gallery

Week Zero prep football capsules

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

 
Signups for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

Stewart returning to competition after fatal crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

 
Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B11

This date in sports history for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Power looks for elusive IndyCar title at Fontana

By The Associated Press | From Page: B14

.

Business

M235i revives classic BMW memories

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
US economy grew at brisk 4.2 pct. rate in Q2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Ukraine conflict weighs on markets; Retailers fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Abercrombie name to shrink from clothing

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

Survey: Americans’ pessimism on economy has grown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Apple to unveil next products at Sept. 9 event

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6, 1 Comment | Gallery

Average US 30-year mortgage rate at 4.1 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Obama touts revised economic growth numbers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

.

Obituaries

Lois C. Clark

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Frank W. Moy Jr.

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Gary Allen Person

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13