Thursday, March 26, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Teen entitled to be a brat

navarrette column sig

By
From page A11 | March 13, 2014 |

SAN DIEGO — Mexicans have a graphic saying that should serve as a warning to today’s parents, not only south of the border but also in the United States. It loosely translates as: “If you raise crows, they’ll scratch out your eyes.”

Believe it. Just ask Sean and Elizabeth Canning of Lincoln Park, N.J. Their 18-year-old daughter, Rachel, is now perhaps the most famous spoiled brat in America. She is also the epitome of what is referred to as the Millennial generation but really ought to be rebranded “Generation E” – for entitlement.

The Cannings seem to have been in denial that they had raised a crow until they got served with legal papers.

Rachel is suing her parents for support. Having left home (either because she ran away or because she was kicked out, depending on whose version you believe), she asked a court to declare that she is “unemanicipated” and order her parents to pay tuition for her private high school, cover her living expenses until she can support herself, and spring for her college education. She also wants mom and dad to cover her legal bills. You know, the ones she incurred by suing them.

Maybe Rachel’s parents do owe some restitution – not to her but to the rest of society. They seem to have helped her get off course.

Sean Canning, a former police chief, admits that he was better at laying down the law with the officers under his command than with his own daughter.

“I’m a liberal, liberal parent,” Sean told the New York Post. “I wish I could have grown up in my house.”

You have to wonder if the chief has figured out that, with young people, being too lenient often does more harm than being too strict.

From media reports, it seems that the Cannings wanted to raise a child with a lot of self-esteem.

Mission accomplished. When you sue your own parents, you’re no shrinking violet. The trouble is, what Rachel Canning has is what psychologists call “cheap” self-esteem. The real thing comes from striving, failing, persevering and eventually succeeding – not from having your parents clear a path for you.

When the Cannings finally demanded that Rachel do chores and adhere to a midnight curfew, she rebelled.

Of course. You set rules and expectations for your kids when they’re 8, not when they’re 18. By then, they’re accustomed to doing what they want.

Rachel got the money to file the lawsuit – $12,000 – from the parents of a friend. John and Amy Inglesino say they’re footing the bill, and letting Rachel stay in their home, because they want to see the young woman realize her potential.

If there is an unspoken code between parents, the Inglesinos have demolished it.

At this point, the Cannings claim that they just want to put their family back together.

“We love our daughter,” Sean Canning told the Post. “She’s our pride and joy. The door is wide open. We want her to come home.”

That’s another mistake. Rachel made her choice, and now she has to live with the consequences.

Recently, a Superior Court judge denied the request for private school tuition and living expenses. Another hearing will take place in April to decide whether the Cannings have to pay for college. Rachel moved back in with her parents Tuesday night.

Let this be a cautionary tale. Too many parents are lost. They set out to care for their children and wind up coddling them, which only makes their offspring whiny and weak. Before long, the kid is convinced that the adults – parents, teachers, ministers, coaches, etc. – are nothing more than a fleet of personal assistants whose only job is to ensure that the precious little darling experiences a constant state of bliss.

Too many parents today seem to be traumatized by how strict their own parents were, and they’re determined to do the opposite. They obsess over whether their kids are happy, indulge every whim, and strive to be their child’s “BFF.” Before long, the kid loses respect for them and pushes them around. Every day, at Little League games or school events, I see parents bullied by their kids. A few are being outright terrorized.

You know the rules. You don’t negotiate with terrorists.

Ruben Navarrette is a columnist for U-T San Diego. Reach him at [email protected]

Ruben Navarrette

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 1 comment

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • patrickMarch 13, 2014 - 1:31 pm

    set the brat free. have her join the army. she is responsible for herself. the military will give her all that she desires including self respect.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

Vacaville honors top cops, support staff

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Kings honor Rankin, Mustangs

By Paul Farmer | From Page: A2, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
New meeting location for family support group

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

Padan Elementary demonstrates new school culture

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
Fairfield mall to host first aid kit assembly party

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Fairfield PD chief to address Solano GOP

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
 
Fairfield police log: March 24, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A7

Suisun City police log: March 24, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A7

 
Frustration permeates college contract negotiations

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A7 | Gallery

.

US / World

Vallejo woman’s story a hoax, police say

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 5 Comments

 
Deceased woman’s video supports Wolk’s bill

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Man threatened suicide before shooting officer

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

.

Opinion

 
We deserve freedom to choose our fate

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A5, 4 Comments

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: March 26, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: March 26, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: March 26, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
After several years, my nieces now live with their father and are miserable

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

David Crosby in car accident with jogger

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Contract not renewed for ‘Top Gear’ host

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Felicity Jones excited, tight-lipped about Star Wars role

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

.

Sports

 
Prep badminton preview: City teams making their marks

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

6 teams with 10 or more losses most ever to reach Sweet 16

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
After 1st division title in 39 years, Warriors want more

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Local report: Rodriguez boys swim past Vintage

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

 
Gomez uses offense and defense, leads Brewers past A’s

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Cal to host UC Davis in 2019, Cal Poly in 2020

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Lanny McDonald selected as chairman of Hockey Hall of Fame

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Serena Williams hoping to play at Miami Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Change to extra points likely in NFL

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Bills to honor late owner Wilson with life-sized statue

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Tulowitzki homers, Butler strong in Rockies’ win over Giants

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Elliott heads to Martinsville to attempt 1st Sprint Cup race

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Alameda County to join talks about new Oakland stadium

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Rio mayor unveils controversial Olympic golf course

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Joe Gibbs’ son being treated for ‘brain function’ issues

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

America’s Cup organizers want smaller, cheaper boats

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Howard Leon Carnes

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9