Thursday, December 25, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Maybe I’m not living right

wade kelvin column sig copy

By
From page A7 | April 03, 2014 |

I have a confession to make: I’m afraid of lightning.

The rain we’ve been getting leaves me conflicted. Yes, we need it and I love the rain, just not the 1.21 gigawatt bolts of death and destruction that often come along with it.

Just this week, an Alaska Airlines jet was struck by lightning at Oakland International Airport. In Sausalito, a lightning bolt split a redwood in two and shattered the windows of two homes. And in Berkeley, a woman was struck while crossing the street. She survived with no serious injuries but has been left with a metallic taste in her mouth. Yikes.

Maybe my fears started when lightning struck a telephone pole in front of our house and split a huge chunk of it off. When I saw what lightning could do, it was hide-under-my-bed-time.

Growing up, I was horrified by the story of Roy Sullivan, the Virginia park ranger who was struck by lightning seven times and survived, only to kill himself later. The fact that he was from Virginia and I was born in Virginia added to my fear. I know it’s irrational. Don’t judge me.

When I was a kid, my mom used to say, “The reason you’re afraid is because you ain’t livin’ right. Be sure your sins will find you out!” Wow. Mom, you could’ve gone the “everything is going to be all right” route instead of getting all Old Testament on me.

My fears didn’t end when I became an adult. In fact during big thunderstorms, I used to grab both beagles (who shared my fear) and we’d kind of hang out in the bathroom reading books and chilling until the storm passed. (They were avid readers.)

Once during a thunderstorm, my friend Chumly called me on the phone. I told him to talk fast because I was on a corded phone and it wasn’t safe. (It’s not!) He asked if he could borrow my Olympic barbell and I told him yes. But then he asked me to bring it down to his house. He only lived two doors down, but there was no way I was carrying a 7-foot metal pole down the street in a lightning storm. I’d end up a candidate for the Darwin Award.

You people trying to discourage folks from buying lottery tickets, saying people are more likely to be struck by lightning than win, are not helping. Yes, it’s true. The odds of winning California Super Lotto Plus are 1-in-41,416,353 while your odds of being nuked by the heavens is 1-in-750,000.

According to the National Weather Service, 60 people are killed every year by lightning strikes. Reading their website about what to do if caught outdoors in a thunderstorm is not comforting at all.

“There are NO SAFE PLACES outdoors.” “We don’t recommend (using) the crouch because it will not significantly lower your risk of being killed or injured . . .” “Can lightning strike me when I’m indoors? YES!” So what to do? “Apply barbecue sauce liberally to skin and wait!” OK, I made up that last sentence.

It’s raining while I’m writing this so I’m going to get away from this computer and hunker down somewhere with a book. Incidentally, the book I’m reading is one of my favorites.

“Lightning,” by Dean Koontz. Peace.

Kelvin Wade is the author of “Morsels” Vols. I and II and lives in Fairfield. Email him at kelvinjwade@aol.com.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 14 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Tony WadeApril 03, 2014 - 7:21 am

    That was freakin' hilarious!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • CD BrooksApril 03, 2014 - 8:19 am

    The movie Great Outdoors and 66 times, classic!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • I heard that If U wear tight white pants U R safe from Lighting StrikesApril 03, 2014 - 11:37 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv7Ts4v5_Bs

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Sorry.. I can't stop myselvesApril 03, 2014 - 12:05 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4-nCfoIIEQ

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • ELECTRIC BOOGIE by Marcia GriffithsApril 03, 2014 - 12:19 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-9hmKAGOgU

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Bob Marley Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright LYRICSApril 03, 2014 - 12:26 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYCpWblDKok

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • But then again If U R Not Careful .. U could end up Fried... U Chicken?April 03, 2014 - 12:30 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NA3SYgNzdE

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • NFSD... Nevermind U Bring me SunshineApril 03, 2014 - 12:55 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4JQoSD_AsM

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Now for some Slack KeyApril 03, 2014 - 12:57 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFwUyg7m1KI

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Keola Beamer - E Ku'u Morning Dew fromApril 04, 2014 - 9:58 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtawSgeS30g&list=PL93B6EFBC4A1B362D

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • E Ku'u Morning DewApril 04, 2014 - 10:03 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhZouadYJMU

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Sweet Dreams...Cindy Combs - Whispering Hope from her album Slack Key LadyApril 04, 2014 - 10:15 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfwy77ogxJs&list=PL93B6EFBC4A1B362D

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Hui Aloha - Steal AwayApril 04, 2014 - 10:18 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWl2iLn0CPg&list=PL93B6EFBC4A1B362D

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Cat MoyApril 03, 2014 - 1:34 pm

    Try one of those thunder jackets used for dogs. It gives a feeling of security. And your arms are free to read. (:

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
Christmas Eve event features Bible, bikes

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1, 3 Comments | Gallery

It’s easy to remember some Christmas memories

By Mayrene Bates | From Page: A2

 
Man’s walk for peace enters Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 19 Comments | Gallery

 
$3,500 nets Dixon man $9, he says

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

Deadline nears for BookFest authors’ contest

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

 
Suisun waterfront to host restaurant week

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

Conservancy schedules next Quail Ridge hike

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Fairfield man wants $28,828 returned

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A4, 11 Comments

Fairfield police log: Dec. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Dec. 23, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Dec. 22, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Dec. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Fairfield police log: Dec. 23, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Fairfield police log: Dec. 22, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Governor issues 105 pardons, many for drug crimes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
10 years after tsunami, Indonesian family reborn

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Storm expected to bring Christmas snow to Sierra

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Sony broadly releases ‘The Interview’ in reversal of plans

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Regulations would expand coastal California sanctuaries

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Officer kills armed 18-year-old near Ferguson

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 7 Comments

Interrogation program mismanaged, Senate, CIA agree

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Denver shelters cite legal pot in homeless upswing

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

After NYC deaths, a surge of support for police

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Abe takes office for 3rd term as Japan’s leader

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Russia: NATO pushed Kiev to drop nonaligned status

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Russia in offer to help firms with foreign debts

By T. Burt McNaughton | From Page: A7

 
NKorea outage a case study in online uncertainties

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Curfew in India state after rebels kill 63

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Cuba’s relations with Catholic Church hit high point

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Iraq: Suicide attack kills 24 people near Baghdad

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Sony tries to save face with ‘Interview’ flip-flop

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Who hacked Sony becomes Internet’s new mystery

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

.

Opinion

 
Immunity and interrogators: a second look

By Walter Pincus | From Page: A11, 2 Comments

My grandson wants what for Christmas?

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A11, 2 Comments

 
Letting go

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 2 Comments

.

Living

Today in History: Dec. 25, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Dec. 25, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Dec. 25, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
A partridge in a pear tree will cost a bit more this year

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Court denies Polanski’s motion to dismiss 1977 sex case

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

.

Sports

 
Domestic violence at forefront of NFL in 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Alabama’s Sims proves critics wrong with big season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Associated Press Sports Story of the Year Winners

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Masters races to keep field under 100 players

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Typical NFL season: smiles for some, frowns for others

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

NBA prepares for Christmas coming-out party

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B2

 
Titans lead Bucs for top pick in NFL draft

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Tyler Summitt easing into head coaching career

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Elvis Stojko, Bourne bring skating to small stage

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B2

New-Look NBA: In Milwaukee, a new hope rises

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Sharks forward John Scott suspended 4 games

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

.

Business

Honda recalls 1,252 Crosstours over side air bags

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Applications for US jobless aid fall to 7-week low

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Walmart tests gift card exchange

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Unions make push to recruit protected immigrants

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7, 3 Comments

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9