Saturday, July 26, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

1 bad decision can ruin a teen’s life

wade kelvin column sig copy

By
From page A11 | March 13, 2014 |

Sometime during the late 1980s in another city late at night, I was cruising in the passenger seat of my friend “Herbie’s” car. Another friend, “Dennis,” was in the back.

Herbie asked Dennis to pass him a brick from the back seat. I don’t know why he had a brick in the back of his car but Dennis passed the brick to me and I gave it to Herbie. Without missing a beat, Herbie hurled the brick out of his window and it smashed the front glass of a closed business. We sped away.

I think about that incident with the brick when I see groups of young people arrested for crimes like the youngsters that robbed Travis Dairy and killed the owner, or the four people recently arrested in the death of Naomy Rojas.

A parent’s biggest nightmare is something bad happening to their child. A close second is finding out that your child has done something horrible. It’s tragic when your teen goes along with a group and throws his or her life away.

That incident with the brick illustrates how easy it is to get into trouble with a group of people.

We’d been drinking earlier and were driving looking for something to do. When the driver asked for the brick, I didn’t know what he planned to do with it. But that wouldn’t stop me from being culpable if we’d been caught. That’s the danger when you’re out with a group doing dirt. You may not know that someone in your group is about to vandalize property, rob someone or even shoot someone. It can happen in the blink of an eye.

In those instances, you’re not innocent. I wasn’t innocent.

What if that wasn’t a brick the driver asked Dennis for? What if he asked us to hand him a gun? Would I hand it to him, not knowing what he was going to do with it? In seconds your life can forever change. It’s almost an insurmountable goal to think we can get teens to make those decisions at the last minute. Sitting in the car drunk is too late. We’ve got to keep them from getting in that car. Better still; keep them from hanging out with the wrong crowd.

These are conversations that should be ongoing with our kids and grandkids. Sometimes even good kids can do stupid things in groups. We feel less personally responsible in a group of friends.

If Herbie had been driving alone, I don’t think he would’ve hurled that brick. He wasn’t a bad guy. (In fact, today he’s in law enforcement in a Northern California city!) On the flip side of that, I probably would’ve thrown that brick in the presence of friends just to fit in. We shouldn’t have been drinking but I don’t blame the alcohol. Teens can do reckless things while totally sober.

I was reluctant to write this column because no one wants to hang a spotlight on his or her shameful, stupid moments. But I decided to do it because I was a gifted student from a good religious middle class family and still was fully capable of making stupid decisions to fit in.

It’s hard to impress upon an “invincible” teen that thinks he or she knows everything to be wary of bad influences or just the problem of groupthink. But that’s our job as parents and grandparents.

I don’t want to ever get a phone call that my grandkids were arrested along with several friends for doing something awful. I’m going to be a broken record on this subject. Peace.

Kelvin Wade is the author of “Morsels” Vols. I and II and lives in Fairfield. Email him at kelvinjwade@aol.com.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 2 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • CD BrooksMarch 13, 2014 - 7:35 am

    Kelvin, if we're all being honest we can say we had similar or worse situations too. We had a great family and parents that stayed on us. But we were four boys and when we got loose, it was scary. We talk about our "exploits" all the time sharing them with family and friends. We've never hidden them from our kids they grew up knowing we weren't perfect. We're all invested in our families and the thing our kids hated worse was not getting in trouble, but knowing everyone else in the family would hear about it! We're lucky they are all successful well-adjusted adults now with kids of their own. We are proud to say they are raising their kids as they were raised!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Clark HendersonMarch 13, 2014 - 3:10 pm

    Excellent example and advice. I hope a lot of people heed this advice and prepare their children and grandchildren for difficult situations that will inevitably arise. Great job Kelvin.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
Large party to honor entry into Army

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2

 
 
Crashes snarl Friday traffic on Interstate 80

By Glen Faison | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

 
Abrams to speak at Democratic Club meet

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A4

 
Fairfield police log: July 24, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Suisun City police log: July 24, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Share nature’s bounty with others

By Murray Bass | From Page: B10

 
Physical activity may diminish fatigue

By Scott Anderson | From Page: B10, 1 Comment

Weather for Saturday, July 26, 2014

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B11

 
.

US / World

Police still investigating after burglar killed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 5 Comments

 
What happened? The day Flight 17 was downed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

US: Russia is firing across border into Ukraine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Large Sandy-struck family splits $20M lottery win

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

California county sues over subdivision slide

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
BART station reopens after reported bomb threat

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Wildfire forces evacuation of rural NorCal homes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Ex-Bell councilwoman gets 2 years for corruption

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Database details California school employee pay

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
California state senator facing additional charge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

Designer: Bay Bridge bolts don’t need replacing

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
Pelvis pix victims must feel trauma to share $190M

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Sheriff: 300 homes burned in Washington wildfire

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Taiwan plane survivor crawls out, phones dad

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Teams converge on remote site to probe plane crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Former CIA officials can’t see ‘torture’ report

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Same-sex marriage ban struck down for Miami area

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Migrants: Obama urges Latin leaders, GOP to help

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 2 Comments

Ebola outbreak spreads to 4th West African country

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Gaza sides agree to lull but truce efforts stall

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

.

Opinion

Top 3 ways to impress an employer

By Deon Price | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

 
Editorial Cartoons: July 26, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Immersion kindergarten class in jeopardy

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

Cheers, jeers for the week of July 20-26, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
.

Living

Today in History for July 26, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: July 26, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes for July 26, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

 
I’m not attracted to my husband since he’s gained weight

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B5, 1 Comment

.

Entertainment

Sam Raimi announces planned ‘The Last of Us’ film

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Nolan, McConaughey surprise with ‘Interstellar’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Comic-Con gets first look at ‘Mockingjay’ trailer

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Bazinga! ‘Big Bang Theory’ writers hit Comic-Con

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Scientists make love, war weapons in ‘Manhattan’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

.

Sports

Forces strong during NHRA qualifying at Sonoma Raceway

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Fairfield Expos bats come alive in 13-2 win

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1

Raiders brimming with optimism at start of camp

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
49ers ready to fill big void for injured Bowman

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Puig, Dodgers go triple-crazy, beat Giants 8-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Horsey in halfway lead at Russian Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

7-shot lead for Langer at Senior British Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Furyk, Petrovic, share Canadian Open lead

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

US rebounds to win twice in International Crown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Hammel 0-3 for A’s after 4-1 loss to Rangers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2, 1 Comment | Gallery

With Nibali in command, Tour is about 2nd place

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
FIFA rejects calls to strip Russia of World Cup

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Marshawn Lynch missing as Seahawks camp begins

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Dallas Cowboys LB McClain convicted in Alabama

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
This date in sports history for Saturday, July 26, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

NASCAR drivers want changes on the schedule

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
.

Business

Orders for US durable goods up 0.7 percent in June

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Russian execs fear lasting damage from plane crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Global tensions don’t dent enthusiasm for stocks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Feds probe Dodge Charger alternator complaints

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Towering worry: Small holes cause big jitters

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
McNuggets pulled from sale in HK after meat scare

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

US to evaluate Impala air bag performance

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Family feud sparks revolt at grocery store chain

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Fast food workers prepare to escalate wage demands

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
.

Obituaries

Pamela Dixon

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Mary Bell Scrivner Sanders

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Arturo Montenegro

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Mary Spingola Stagnaro

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
.

Home Seller 07/26/14

Real estate transactions for July 26, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: HSR2

Citation Northern offers new Madison Lane homes

By Barry Eberling | From Page: HSR2

Average US 30-year mortgage rate at 4.13 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR2