Friday, July 25, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle

plunkett column sig

By
From page A2 | January 30, 2013 |

Have you noticed that old sayings are disappearing? Remember all those simple, folksy old sayings that our parents and grandparents used to say? And then we’d repeat them, even though we really weren’t sure what they meant, or how they originated.

For some reason, this latest younger generation isn’t carrying on the tradition of using these phrases. Maybe it’s because they sound so old-fashioned. They sound so behind the times. They sound so . . . weird.

Let me give you an example: You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Most of us know that it means you can win people over to your side by friendly persuasion rather than by being hostile. But you don’t hear the younger folks saying it, and maybe it’s because they’re taking it too literally. I mean, if you think about it, why would you want to catch flies? And if you did want to, would you really even consider using vinegar?

Here’s another example: She had a conniption fit. We know what a fit is, but what the heck is a conniption? Kids have their own text-language nowadays. Instead of saying “she had a conniption fit,” they’d just say, “She went all Hillary.”

Now, “I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck” and “you can’t pull the wool over my eyes,” but it all just puts me at “the end of my rope” and “madder than an old wet hen.”

I remember my old grandpappy used to say, “If the horse has buck teeth, then go jump in a gopher hole and pull the cheese wheels out of your nose.” To this very day I still have no idea what that means. Then again, grandpappy did drink a lot of whiskey.

Every “once in a blue moon” I’ll go “off the wagon” and have “one for the road” and be “out like a light” and wind up on “cloud nine.” Does anyone under the age of 30 use any of these expressions and idioms anymore?

Now I’m not talking about old sayings like “too many cooks spoil the pot” or “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Those are more like proverbs. I’m talking about the homespun, country sayings. You know, the kind of sayings that only old fogeys use. And by the way, just what is an old fogey? On a lark I’d give one red cent to find out. It’s really got me over a barrel.

It’s like my old grandpappy used to say: “If the well runs dry, don’t twist my suspenders if’n the garden gnomes steal the rooster’s eyelids.” I’m still not sure what in tarnation the old codger was talking about, but he was sure as Shinola about it.

There are many old clichés that begin with the word “holy.” Holy moley. Holy smoke. Holy Moses. Holy cow. I can sort of understand a few of them, but I’ve never understood why someone came up with the phrase, “Holy mackerel.” I always thought that maybe it had something to do with some sort of fish religion.

I’d say that if you’re over 40, then you know that if your goose is cooked, then you were probably doing too much monkey business while trying to keep up with the Joneses, whoever they were.

Back in the roaring 1920s, they came out with these: the cat’s pajamas, killer-diller, hotsy totsy, and how do you like them apples. And if something was swell, then it was the bee’s knees. Why it was the bee’s knees is anyone’s guess. Do bees even have knees?

If a child was just like a parent, then the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. If someone was a good liar, then butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth. If someone was ambitious and hardworking, then they wouldn’t let grass grow under their feet. If they were ugly, then they could make a train want to take a dirt road. It was poetic speech, really, and it’s getting lost. I miss it.

It’s like my grandpappy used to say: “Dust the chickens off your goiter and spank the hogs before the gypsies get your flapjacks.” Then again, he did drink a lot of whiskey.

Anyway, I guess you can stick a fork in me. I’m done.

If you’ve got some hullaballoo and horse feathers, you can reach the flabbergasted C.W. Plunkett at cwplunkett33@yahoo.com.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 24 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • FibberJanuary 30, 2013 - 9:27 am

    Holy Toledo! CW. Sounds like your grandpappy was as screwed up as Hogan's Goat, but I guess I don't know Pea Turkey about it. Time for me to Hit the Hay.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • C.W. PlunkettFebruary 02, 2013 - 5:51 am

    He was definitely off his rocker, Fibber... especially when he was two sheets to the wind...

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Hoo Doo write so well.....U DoJanuary 30, 2013 - 3:15 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvQBUapX79w

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • C.W. PlunkettFebruary 02, 2013 - 5:57 am

    You're too kind, Tammy... and thank you! :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • The Monkey - Dave BartholomewJanuary 30, 2013 - 3:22 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vZeLSwz-Dw

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Hook Line And Sinker .January 30, 2013 - 3:34 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Dwf166AEfs

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Treat your cat sweetly!January 30, 2013 - 3:49 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k181_yJNsyQ

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Hoodoo Lady BluesJanuary 31, 2013 - 8:45 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhis33IOXN0&feature=endscreen&NR=1

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Minnie The Moocher 1930January 31, 2013 - 8:50 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB_fbBfP9yU

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • The Blues Brothers MinnieJanuary 31, 2013 - 8:56 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvLzZl8Zp-s

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • The SugarJarJanuary 30, 2013 - 5:38 pm

    Fun column, Mr. Plunkett. Brought some of the sayings I heard growing up to mind--that my grandkids would need translated... :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • C.W. PlunkettFebruary 02, 2013 - 5:56 am

    Hahaha.... yeah, mine too SG. Mine too...

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Rich GiddensJanuary 30, 2013 - 6:26 pm

    Today's skulls o' mush aren't interested in yesterday's cliches when they can't even speak or write the English language to begin with. No, today's kids are more interested in violent video games and mindless rap "music" where every other word is vulgar.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • C.W. PlunkettFebruary 02, 2013 - 5:54 am

    It's definitely a "different" generation, isn't it Rich?

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • CD BrooksJanuary 30, 2013 - 7:32 pm

    Good stuff CW! I don't swear around my grand kid so my uses of holy cow, holy mackeral and good grief sound much better when they repeat them!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Oh.......Mr. Brooks!January 31, 2013 - 10:44 am

    WTCluck free to swear around/at me CD hell everybody else does.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Henny Penny..U know I triedJanuary 31, 2013 - 1:22 pm

    deleteing this twice...should have been feel free to ect...

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • C.W. PlunkettFebruary 02, 2013 - 5:53 am

    Haha Chris... yes, we don't want them repeating "those" words... :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • ludhabtd..zone..zen out to this....relaxFebruary 01, 2013 - 7:48 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idJYhjGyWTU

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • likeyoudon'thaveanythingbettertodo..tanked monkeysFebruary 01, 2013 - 7:59 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmnzIhbX2bg

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • GrannyFebruary 02, 2013 - 3:51 pm

    Well hold your horses and fluff my pillow and bed me down for the night, I've been rode hard amd put up wet if this isn't the best Plunkett column ever!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • GrannyFebruary 03, 2013 - 12:28 pm

    You sure did tickle my fancy Plunkett with this column! As I always say...When the Donkey brays, the Goats will play and the Rabbits will come a'hoppin!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Tiger by the TailFebruary 04, 2013 - 3:45 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dwt3GOaBRg

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Should BA Line Dance for Fiesta Parade?February 04, 2013 - 3:52 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBElteXUZ-I

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
CSP Solano inmates make music for rehabilitation

By Krissi Khokhobashvili | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

Big Chuckllz, fellow comics want to keep Fairfield laughing

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Holly Stell ready for new adventure, plans Sunday concert

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Solano actors join forces for new single, ‘Groove Me’

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Organizers seek riders, volunteers for Ride to Defeat Diabetes

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Friday concerts begin Aug. 1 at Solano Town Center

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B3

 
Bay Stage filled with entertainment at Solano County Fair

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B3

 
 
Bay Area’s air district issues Spare the Air alert

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A4

 
Assembly candidate Henthorn to appear at GOP dinner

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A5

 
Fairfield police log: July 23, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Daily Republic seeks good news for column

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: A12, 22 Comments

 
.

US / World

Judge argues for return of firing squad executions

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 8 Comments

 
California removes lane splitting guidelines

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 3 Comments

Execution offers evidence against lethal injection

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Outcry saves rare redwood from being chopped down

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

California man gets 4 years in counterfeit case

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
SF professor charged with taping students in bathroom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

California wine collector set for sentencing on fraud charges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
 
Obama wants limits on US company mergers abroad

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Toxic algae closes Oakland’s Lake Temescal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
House panel clears way for vote on Obama lawsuit

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

Feds cap fines for not buying health insurance

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
House, Senate chairs offer competing bills on VA

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7, 2 Comments

Doctor fired back at gunman in hospital attack

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

 
Social Security’s $300M IT project doesn’t work

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

More US girls now getting cervical cancer vaccine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Storm slams Virginia campground; 2 dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Ukrainian prime minister announces resignation

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
UN school in Gaza caught in cross-fire; 15 killed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Air Algerie jet with 116 on board crashes in Mali

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Very bad week: Airline disasters come in a cluster

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Islamic militants seize part of Syrian army base

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Iraq elects new president as attacks kill dozens

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

As inmate died, lawyers debated if he was in pain

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

 
.

Opinion

Call for tech diversity misplaced

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11

 
Is parenting being criminalized in America?

By Ben Boychuk and Joel Mathis | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

 
Coyote epidemic in Fairfield

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 10 Comments

Editorial Cartoons for July 25, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
.

Living

Today in History for July 25, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: July 25, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes for July 25, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
My siblings want friends to handle sale of our father’s house

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Week in preview July 25-31, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Review: Allen casts a limp spell in ‘Magic’

By Jake Coyle | From Page: B2

Review: ‘Lucy’ won’t stretch your brain capacity

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Robert Downey Jr. open to returning for ‘Iron Man 4’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Will Ferrell and Adam McKay to go wild with ‘Manimal’ movie

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: B2

Kiss, Usher, J.Lo to perform at Fashion Rocks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Pop star Azalea talking fashion on MTV

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Jon Bon Jovi to be honored for humanitarian work

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Malkovich, Cumberbatch make Comic-Con premieres

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Entertainment calendar July 25, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Stonestreet: Acceptance will grow for gay athletes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
.

Sports

Moss powers A’s past Astros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Eagles soar past Expos in Area 1 tourney

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B7

Hudson solid, Hammels better in Giants’ loss to Phillies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Indians win 14-8 over Mudcats

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B7

49ers’ Smith plans to meet soon with Commissioner Goodell

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Pucker up! NASCAR returns to Brickyard

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Manning getting used to new faces on Broncos

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Raiders CB Hayden to start camp on PUP

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

Nibali wins Stage 18, closes in on Tour victory

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Suspended WR Blackmon arrested on drug complaint

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Signups for Friday, July 25, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

 
Ravens RB Rice receives 2-game suspension from NFL

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Lynch expected to hold out from Seahawks camp

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Putnam, Petrovic share Canadian Open lead

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9 | Gallery

AP source: Gordon to meet with league Aug. 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Langer leads British Senior by 2 after 1st round

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Taiwan sweeps US in 1st day of International Crown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
A’s Johnson designated for assignment

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

AP Source: NFL stadium sites explored in Toronto

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
2 Texas football players charged with sexual assault

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Cavs sign Wiggins, who can’t be traded for 30 days

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
This date in sports history for Friday, July 25, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, July 25, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

 
Weather for July 25, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B12

.

Business

LR4 is updated for fuel efficiency

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
Ford’s green push

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: C2

Varying health premium subsidies worry consumers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Court throws out Chiquita terror payment claims

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Bombardier restructuring cuts 1,800 jobs globally

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Dick’s Sporting Goods lays off 478 PGA golf pros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

US new-home sales plummet in June

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Across US job market, layoffs are becoming rare

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

US unemployment aid applications drop to 284,000

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Dunkin’ pushing cashiers to ‘upsell’ in afternoons

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

.

Obituaries

Shirley T. ‘Mac’ McFadden

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 5 Comments

 
Nelson Max Allen

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
.

Solano County Fair 2014

Cultural exhibits, entertainment are fair highlights

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF2 | Gallery

Bay Stage talent competitions, nightly karaoke party

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF3

Jack & Bernice Newell Junior Livestock Auction returns to fair

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF4 | Gallery

Big names, big sounds grace fair stage

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF4 | Gallery

Bay Stage welcomes wide array of entertainers

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF15 | Gallery

Solano shines at fair’s County and Cities Expo

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF16