Wednesday, March 4, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Strike a pose: My life as a statue

stanhope column sig

By
From page A2 | January 05, 2014 |

At age 13, I found bliss. Because, at that age, there’s nothing better than having leverage on an older sibling.

I have three sisters. They’re all older. So I was the only boy and the youngest, which meant trouble.

My next-oldest sister was the object of my discovery: I realized that I could drive her crazy by posing as a statue.

Seriously. A statue. Like the Statue of Liberty. Or the Sphinx.

Or Michael Spinks, in that fight against Mike Tyson.

Routinely, I would start to say something, then pause and freeze. And hold it while my sister got mad.

You know those guys who pose as statues on Pier 39? They’ve got nothing on me. They get money from generous passers-by, but I got angry outbursts from my sister, which was better than money or even baseball cards.

My sister and I were pretty close. We still are – she lives in Vallejo and we see each other often. We never had a fierce rivalry, although a dark episode from my early childhood – involving her making my stick horse into a “bridge” between our twin beds, then bouncing on it until it broke – strained our relationship for years. It occasionally comes up in family conversations (OK, it always comes up and I’m always the one who brings it up. It pained me.).

Still, when I discovered that I could walk into a room where she was watching TV (perhaps a soap opera, perhaps “The Love Boat” or “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” Perhaps something else.) and get her infuriated by merely striking a pose, it was awesome. It didn’t require me to say anything. I didn’t have to get between her and the 13-inch screen. I just posed (had I been born 15 years later, I would have been doing a “Vogue”) and waited.

Inevitably, she’d get angry. She’d shout at me. She’d tell me how stupid I was. Ultimately, she would walk over and push me, making me break the pose.

And I would then continue, as if I didn’t know I’d posed. It was a hilarious comedy bit where time stood still for me, but not for her.

It’s simple and it’s stupid.

But it was brilliant.

Decades later, when I see my sister, I occasionally break into the pose. I’ll tell her something new, get partway through, and freeze.

She laughs about it, but inside, I know the truth.

It still bugs her. And if it was socially acceptable, she would still push me.

There is still – decades after I discovered the secret – something magical about being able to irritate a sibling on demand.

If my older sister reads this, I hope she knows that despite all the problems I cause her, I still lo . . .

Reach Brad Stanhope at 427-6958 or [email protected] Follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/bradstanhope.

Brad Stanhope

Brad Stanhope

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. He began his career at the DR in the last millennium. He spent 24 years as a sports editor, associate editor and news editor before leaving the Daily Republic in 2014. Brad lives in Suisun City with his wife, Mrs. Brad, and two sons. He enjoys cheese.
LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 6 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Turn to StoneJanuary 05, 2014 - 11:24 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7L24-yz5AU

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • J. Geils Band - Freeze FrameJanuary 05, 2014 - 1:18 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHo43B6nu60

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Allison Stanhope WyrickJanuary 05, 2014 - 11:28 am

    I love this. I still remember you as that curly haired cousin from California :)) But I see now where my father got his humor. Must be genetic.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Living statues - Human statues in AssenJanuary 05, 2014 - 9:22 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEDFPKu8UUY

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • I Stanhope, I mean Sure Hope U Like ThisJanuary 05, 2014 - 9:36 pm

    Mr. Brad plans to start his own "Mr Brad's Downtown Fairfield Improvement District" to be located along the Brad Stanhop Walkway Promenade. He will be posing as "The Human Statue of the Week" all his Busker earnings will go towards his dream of opening a Cheese Emporium in Beautiful Downtown Fairfield!.....Please be sure to give generously everyone!.....I am tired Good Evening All....( His first pose will be as an Iranian Space Monkey, I mean Man )

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Gallery-Nice To Be With YouJanuary 06, 2014 - 10:24 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj1OWHBQ8x0

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
County honors Meadows Trigueiro as Woman of the Year

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Police shut down Fairfield street after shooting

By Glen Faison | From Page: A1, 13 Comments | Gallery

 
Celebrity chef motivates Armijo students

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
State schedules work on Highway 12

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

 
Bridge work to shut down Highway 12 east of Rio Vista

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

Highway 12 Association to meet this month

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

 
Caltrans reschedules work on J-Mack Ferry

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

 
 
 
Robots, raucous businessmen set to arrive on big screen

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A7

 
Teen hit by SUV remains in hospital

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

 
 
 
Fairfield police log: March 2, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

Fairfield police log: March 1, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Fairfield police log: Feb. 28, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun police log: March 2, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: March 1, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Feb. 28, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Enrollment of non-residents to be capped at some UC campuses

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

.

US / World

California survey finds Sierra snowpack far below normal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Ex-CIA chief admits sharing military secrets with mistress

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Health officials perplexed by vaccination skeptics

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

Lawmakers taking another crack at expanding gun checks

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
Agents target industry helping Chinese women have US babies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

 
Family of girl declared brain-dead sues Oakland hospital

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

US marshals say man killed by Los Angeles police was wanted

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
72 passengers reach settlements in Asiana crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

Netanyahu warns US ‘bad deal’ would put Iran on nuclear path

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
Mines, bombs slow Iraqi advance on Islamic State-held Tikrit

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
India orders TV stations not to give rapist a platform

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

.

Opinion

Israelis worry about inequality, not Iran

By Daniel Gordis | From Page: A11, 3 Comments

 
Editorial cartoon: March 3-4, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
Minority outreach that works

By Jennifer Rubin | From Page: A11, 3 Comments

 
.

Living

Today in History: March 4, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: March 4, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Mushrooms are nutrient-packed, with a deep, savory flavor

By The Washington Post | From Page: B5

 
Get ready to add white to the rainbow of produce you eat

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Horoscopes: March 4, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B7

My husband and I want different things in our retirement

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B7

 
.

Entertainment

Apollo to celebrate Holiday birthday

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Oprah’s Chicago studios to close down

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Fashion week moves Milan to Paris

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

.

Sports

Bumgarner hit hard in spring debut, A’s beat Giants 9-4

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
 
Vanden girls roll, advance to SJS championship game

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1

Rudy Gay, Kings hand Knicks worst loss of season, 124-86

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Cubs’ scramble on Wrigley Field hits bump when mayor balks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Raiders officially release S Tyvon Branch

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Trooper: Fingerprints show victim in Hernandez’s rented car

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Play ball! Quickly! Baseball tries to speed game this spring

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Australian rugby star Hayne signs 3-year deal with 49ers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Maid: Hernandez messed with security camera after killing

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Pacquiao big hit so far in Vegas sports books vs Mayweather

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Kings bring back former player Divac in front-office role

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

No ‘floating rubbish’ collection for Olympic sailing venue

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Cal senior Reshanda Gray named Pac-12 Player of the Year

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

.

Business

Oil glut could soon lead to plummeting prices

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

 
.

Obituaries

Otto Vasak

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
John Henry Fechter, Jr.

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Jacqueline Mendes

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Robert C. Thierry

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Garland (Curly) Henry Tackett

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7