Friday, December 19, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Rejection makes us each stronger

borchert column sig

By
From page A2 | July 31, 2014 |

We have all dealt with some form of rejection in our lives.

The first time I faced rejection as an adult came after college, when I was applying for jobs. Because I had nothing keeping me in California, I applied for positions all over the country. Because I applied for nearly every job that I felt I was qualified for, I got a lot of rejection letters in my mailbox (yes, letters. Because that was how job-seekers rolled back in 1999).

I kept those rejection letters – the one from my dream job in the University of Tennessee women’s athletic department, the ones from a couple of WNBA teams and the dozens of others from colleges and universities. They served as reminders and motivation.

Several years ago when I was laid off from a job, I went through the same process of job-searching. The rejection stung a little more this time around because there was more anxiety involved – I had a family to support.

I took some of the rejection emails (communications from recruiters evolved by 2011) hard. But then I got used to it. My family members would tell me, “It’s just not the right fit.”

Whatever that meant.

Over time I started to understand what that meant. I’m an adult. I learned to handle the rejection.

It’s a totally different ball game when the rejection happens to your kid. It’s a punch in the gut that knocks you out for what seems like days.

Your kid doesn’t make an all-star team, they don’t get elected to student council, they aren’t chosen as first chair in band.

You want the best for your kid, so you immediately wonder what you can do to change the situation.

Can I call someone? Whose office door do I need to break down? Can I make a donation to help the cause and change someone’s mind?

When you come back to reality, you realize none of those options are the best for your kid. Mom and Dad are not always going to come to the rescue.

Not being chosen for the sports team or student government spots was a case of “it’s not the right fit.”

Kids need to understand that not everyone is going to get selected to the team, there’s only one kid chosen to be first chair saxophone or play Elsa in the production of “Frozen.”

We need to work together with our kids to be sure they are better prepared the next time the opportunity presents itself. Let’s practice more, dedicate more time and next time, maybe they will see a different outcome.

It wasn’t until last year, when I did a major purge in the garage, that I finally got rid of those rejection letters from college. I kept them for 13 years. Pathetic? No. They might be physically out of sight, but I will never forget that they existed. It developed a huge amount of character in me and served as motivation to get better, increase my skill set and be better than the next guy.

I will pass these lessons on to my kids.

While it will be hard to accept that they don’t get chosen for every sports team or voted as student body president every year they run, the bigger deal is that they went out for the sports team. They put up a valiant, honest campaign for student body president and they will learn from it and grow and hopefully succeed in the future.

If they are proud of even that accomplishment, they have already succeeded in my book.

Angela Borchert is a freelance writer who lives in Vacaville. Reach her at angela.borchert@yahoo.com.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 2 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Brenda VJuly 31, 2014 - 3:34 pm

    I am a professional voice over actor and the first thing we are taught in training.....it's selection not rejection. One repeats it every day with every audition submitted and nothing comes back if you did not get selected. I saw on someone'se fb page....You can teach your kids that life isn't fair by rooting for the Cubs. They have a gozillion dollars but they don't want to spend it on a World Series team. It's their decision and a selection not rejection. Thanks for a great article that we must learn that Murphy's law sometimes does exist!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • MichelleAugust 07, 2014 - 8:25 am

    I think this is one of your best columns. Well done!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
Groundbreakings, ribbon-cuttings play role in civic life

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Sondheim’s ‘Woods’ holiday showcase for Missouri Street Theatre

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Frankye Kelly ready to spread holiday cheer

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Celebrate the magic of Christmas

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2, 2 Comments

 
Santas have busy week at schools

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 2 Comments

 
Safe streets task force work nets 3

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3, 5 Comments

 
 
Solano College approves officers, meeting schedule

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A4

Longtime Suisun harbor master to retire

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
 
Fairfield police log: Dec. 17, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Dec. 17, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

 
.

US / World

Hope and some fear in Cuba amid thaw with US

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Next steps on Cuba: Normalizing could take awhile

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Sony hacking fallout puts all companies on alert

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Sony film took aim at North Korea’s biggest taboo

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 4 Comments

Timeline of the Sony Pictures Entertainment hack

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Digital dilemma: How will US respond to Sony hack?

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Spy’s parents search for son after Cuba-US deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Local emergencies in Northern California counties after rain

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
California’s top utility regulator defends record

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

‘Pretty horrible’ scene; car slams into crowd

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Police: Drunk man shot while entering wrong house

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 4 Comments

 
Tsarnaev appears in court for 1st time since 2013

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
President signs legislation ending Nazi benefit checks

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

2 states challenge Colorado marijuana legalization

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 3 Comments

 
‘Prison Houdini’ set to make his 1st legal escape

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Feds sue NYC over Rikers Island jail violence

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Russian sailors leaving France without warship

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9, 2 Comments

 
Putin: West wants to defang, declaw Russian bear

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 2 Comments

European court rules obesity can be a disability

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
Suspected Islamic extremists kidnap 185 in Nigeria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 2 Comments

.

Opinion

Another look at school bonds

By George Guynn Jr. | From Page: A11, 5 Comments

 
Editorial Cartoon: Dec. 19, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

News of the day strikes a chord

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11, 10 Comments

 
 
.

Living

Today in History: Dec. 19, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

 
Community Calendar: Dec. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Dec. 19, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: D8

 
Should I use Child Protective Services threat to get back rent?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: D8

.

Entertainment

Week in preview Dec. 19-25, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Sweet ‘Night at the Museum’ bids farewell to Robin Williams

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Craig Ferguson to end 10 years as host of ‘Late Late Show’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Eric Idle brings ‘Not the Messiah’ to Carnegie Hall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Entertainment calendar Dec. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

.

Sports

A’s trade All-Star catcher Derek Norris to Padres

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Warriors beat Thunder 114-109 after Durant injury

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
A’s acquire lefty De La Rosa from Arizona for cash

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Raiders defense depleted by injuries

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
49ers’ Harbaugh mum on reported offer from Michigan

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

49ers’ Aldon Smith hopes to build off tough year

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Rivera: Newton ‘probably’ will start vs. Browns

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Bears bench QB Jay Cutler for Clausen

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
‘Hands Up’ players to attend Ferguson Christmas party

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Celtics trade Rondo to Mavericks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Rodriguez boys open Les Curry Tournament with victory

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B8

39 bowl games and a reason to watch every one

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Column: Thaw in US-Cuba relations warms up MLB

By Jim Litke | From Page: B8

Signups for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

 
This date in sports history for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B11

 
.

Business

Roomiest Subaru Legacy debuts for 2015

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
Dow industrials have their best day in three years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Ford expands drivers air bag recall nationwide

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Constantly changing online prices stump shoppers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

.

Obituaries

Lisa Dee McHughes

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Travis Curt Price

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Ernest “Ernie” Moretti

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Jennie Ponce Reyes

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Patricia “Pat” Anne Stringfield-Pierre

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics