Thursday, July 31, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

None of my garage wrecks are really my fault

stanhope column sig

By
From page A2 | May 11, 2014 |

We got Mrs. Brad a new car a few months ago, which meant a promotion for me from a 20-year-old Toyota to a 9-year-old Toyota.

I feel like a king! For the first time in a while, I’m driving a car that’s worth more than my TV. Now I just need to avoid having a fourth wreck in my garage.

You read that right. But your reaction is unfair. It’s wrong to consider me a bad driver, because the three in-garage wrecks weren’t really my fault.

Seriously. It’s been awhile since they happened.

Who hasn’t run into a closed garage door? Who hasn’t torn off a side-view mirror or two? It sounds terrible, but it’s reasonable.

Let me explain (in a way that won’t compromise my now-reasonable insurance rates).

The first two garage accidents simply cost me my side-view mirrors. Who hasn’t tried to back out while listening to radio sports talk, not realizing the mirror on the passenger side was being clipped off by the garage door’s frame and spring? Those things happen.

Oh, sure, you could say that the horrific screeching of a plastic mirror tearing off my Saturn (after all, I was backing out slowly. I’m a safe driver!) should have alerted me to the problem. But you don’t know how important the radio topic was, and how distracted I was by getting to work.

If you condemn me for that,  you probably think my second in-garage accident was bad, too. It wasn’t – it was just a mirror-image repeat of the first one.

By that, I mean a literal mirror image. It was the opposite side of the car. And it involved a mirror.

It also involved me listening to the radio and not paying attention while backing out, which didn’t please Mrs. Brad – presumably because like me, she thinks our garage is too narrow. I’m not sure, because she didn’t tell me why she was so mad.

But she got over it.

The third garage accident was also very understandable. We bought a not-so-mini minivan and one day I was preoccupied as I prepared to go to work – adjusting the radio and thinking about the Giants’ outfield situation. I put the van in reverse and backed . . . into the closed door.

How come it was closed? I don’t know, but the door took a fairly serious dent. I could have sworn I opened it when I came into the garage. Maybe someone secretly closed it on me.

When Mrs. Brad found out, she just walked away, probably because there was no point in agreeing with me that it wasn’t a big deal and that the door should automatically open when a minivan gets close. I’m not sure, because she didn’t tell me why she was upset.

But there’s no need to focus on three unfortunate accidents. They’re in the past. They weren’t really my fault (blame interesting sports-talk radio, narrow garages and doors that aren’t automatic). Now that I’m driving a newer car, it’s unlikely it will happen again.

Mrs. Brad, meanwhile, is driving a car that plugs into the wall. Seriously! She isn’t giving me an opportunity to drive it. I suspect she thinks that if I drive it, I might leave with the cord still attached to our house.

She’s probably right. I’m sure that she’d agree that it really wouldn’t be my fault, too. Who plugs in a car? That’s as silly as a garage that’s too narrow and doesn’t automatically open its door as you back out.

Reach Brad Stanhope at 427-6958 or bstanhope@dailyrepublic.net. Follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/bradstanhope.

Brad Stanhope

Brad Stanhope

Brad Stanhope is the Daily Republic's news editor. He began his career at the DR in the last millennium. He spent 17 years as a sports editor and three years as the associate editor before spending three years away from the newspaper (though continuing as a columnist). He returned in December 2010 as news editor. Brad lives in Suisun City with his wife, Mrs. Brad, and two sons. He enjoys cheese.
LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 1 comment

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Mirror, Mirror.... On the Wall... Literally... ( But U R still the Fairest of them all... Mr. Brad )May 11, 2014 - 7:18 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZLt4H11Tcs

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

Cities dealing with state drought rules

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1, 4 Comments | Gallery

 
Muralist helps locals ready for some painted wall history

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

It’s ‘camping for 30′ at the Solano fair

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Rejection makes us each stronger

By Angela Borchert | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

 
Highway 12 crash sends 2 to hospital

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A3, 11 Comments | Gallery

 
Police release name of Vallejo homicide victim

By Glen Faison | From Page: A4, 8 Comments | Gallery

 
Mall to host Ultimate Army Throw Down

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

 
Fairfield police log: July 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: July 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Police investigate Fairfield shooting

By Glen Faison | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Peace Corps evacuates over Ebola as 2 isolated

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Pipe break that flooded UCLA dumps 20M gallons

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Obama takes tougher line against Gaza casualties

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 7 Comments

 
AP Analysis: Amid war, endgames in Gaza emerge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

2 women survive ordeal along Indiana rail bridge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Ex-IRS official called conservatives ‘crazies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 6 Comments

Dissent quieted with most Israelis behind Gaza war

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Deadly Israeli strikes hit UN school, market area

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 3 Comments | Gallery

Sanctions will damage Russia if not lifted quickly

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Clashes prevent experts from reaching bodies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

Suing Obama: GOP-led House gives the go-ahead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 14 Comments

 
Congress cooperates – and fights – as recess nears

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

Powell maybe not told early about CIA techniques

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Crews work to keep Yosemite fire from sequoias

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

.

Opinion

What happened to the US?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 18 Comments

 
Am I blaming victims?

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A11, 10 Comments

 
Cruz gets border crisis wrong

By Ruben Navarrette | From Page: A11, 8 Comments

 
Editorial Cartoons: July 31, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

.

Living

Today in History for July 31, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: July 31, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes for July 31, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
I want to change my daughters last name to my maiden name

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Commentary: ‘Orphan Black,’ Emmy snubs and questions of identity

By Los Angeles Times | From Page: A6 | Gallery

Allison Williams headed skyward as NBC’s Peter Pan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Contract dispute delays ‘Big Bang’ production

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

.

Sports

Lloyd’s film watching impresses 49ers teammates

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
SF benefits from Pirates’ blunder, ends skid at 6

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Complete game shutout lifts Expos to State Tournament win

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Hammel fails again for Athletics in loss to Astros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Ray Guy’s long wait for Hall of Fame comes to end

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Raiders owner confirms talks with San Antonio

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Stanford star Ty Montgomery rehabbing shoulder

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Greg Ives to crew chief Earnhardt in 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Riley speaks out, insists Heat will be competitive

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Nadal out of 2 tournaments because of right wrist

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Pipe break that flooded UCLA dumps 20M gallons

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Steelers to retire Hall of Famer Greene’s No. 75

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Fairfield-Suisun 6U Bobby Sox win titles

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B4, 1 Comment

 
Usain Bolt in controversy at Commonwealth Games

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Indians trade pitcher Masterson to Cardinals

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

US judge slaps $1.3B fine on Bank of America

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5, 1 Comment

 
A more vigorous US economy appears to be emerging

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

Overhaul approved for troubled California refinery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Judge says Crystal CEO should testify in lawsuit

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7, 1 Comment

.

Obituaries

Louise Scholten

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Ronald Witt Escue Sr.

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Scott Allen Shaver

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9