Friday, February 27, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

New no-touch toilets don’t make sense

stanhope column sig

By
From page A2 | July 06, 2014 |

We have taken the next step in a national germaphobe panic attack: Kohler is promoting its new no-touch toilet.

You read that right: A toilet that you don’t have to touch.

At least to flush. There might be some touching necessary to accomplish other tasks, but I suspect that the enablers will come up with a way to allow you to use the toilet without getting out of your plastic bubble.

(An aside: Based on stories told to me by Mrs. Brad, it’s already common for women to refuse to sit on public toilets, resulting in a mess that likely makes women’s restrooms as gross as men’s public restrooms. But that’s the subject of another column.)

Kohler’s Cimarron toilet – yeah, the name sounds like a 1950s Western TV series – flushes when you wave your hand above the tank lid, triggering a sensor. It doesn’t even have a flush lever – the only way to flush is to wave your hand over the tank.

Which makes it likely that anyone who gets such a model will have plenty of awkward encounters with guests who leave unflushed toilets.

The new model came after Kohler commissioned a study of 800 consumers in the United States and found that more than half of them were paranoid about germs in the bathroom – including two-thirds of mothers with children at home.

A reminder: Paranoia is a psychological disorder. It’s concern about something that’s not true.

Are there germs in the bathroom? Yes. Will they kill you? Only if you’re so obsessed with them that you bring a plugged-in toaster into the bathtub.

But in the wussification of America, we’re now not only afraid of bad germs, we’re afraid of all germs – especially in public restrooms.

(Another aside: Did you ever consider that perhaps using public restrooms and actually touching the inside of the bathroom door – considered the dirtiest place in the room – would help you build up your immunities? Embrace the germs! They make you strong! But that’s the subject of another column.)

Here’s the worst thing about the touchless toilet: It protects you from germs in your own house.

So you buy this toilet to avoid your own germs. Next up, Kohler will allow you to use a toothbruth that doesn’t enter your mouth, so you can’t get your own germs.

The new toilet – and I don’t blame Kohler for manufacturing it, the company is responding to the marketplace – is designed to make you to feel like you’re avoiding contamination by finishing your business on the toilet and then waving your hands wildly over the tank.

Sure, you might avoid germs. But you’ll look ridiculous, which for my money is worse than getting germs.

(One final aside for the paranoid moms with young children at home who want to avoid germs: Just wait until your kid discovers how much fun it is to magically make the toilet flush by waving your hands over it! But that’s the subject for another column.)

Here’s the bottom line: Like the rhythm, the germs are gonna get you. Rather than spending extra on toilet models, embrace the germs.

If you ask me, rather than focusing on touchless models, the toilet industry should focus on something much better: Built-in televisions!

But that’s the subject for another column.

Reach Brad Stanhope at 427-6958 or [email protected] Follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/bradstanhope.

Brad Stanhope

Brad Stanhope

Brad Stanhope is a former Daily Republic editor. He began his career at the DR in the last millennium. He spent 24 years as a sports editor, associate editor and news editor before leaving the Daily Republic in 2014. Brad lives in Suisun City with his wife, Mrs. Brad, and two sons. He enjoys cheese.
LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 3 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • BobJuly 06, 2014 - 5:36 am

    Trouble is they tend to flush in the middle of you doing your business. Nothing better then being splashed by what you're getting rid of. Kaiser Vacaville is really bad about this. Their toilets are going of night and day. Not sure how they save water in a drought

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • JimboJuly 06, 2014 - 10:08 am

    Ah the dreaded hospital toilets. When they do flush they sound like they could suck down an intact buffalo. Not the best time for a scare that can make a person jump up.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • AWAOctober 20, 2014 - 2:41 am

    I don't think it is necessarily/entirely the germ factor. Having a Touchless Toilet is innovative especially in this day and age of having automated devices - devices that do it for you. It's also a pretty nifty gadget if you ask me - the cool factor. I mean we have robotic vacuums now that vacuum the floor, mop the floor too. You've got either remote controlled lawnmowers or lawnmowers that mow your lawn by themselves. Garbage cans where the lid opens by sensor - excellent for when your hands are full and for not contaminating yourself with filthy germs. I love my garbage can where the lid opens with a wave of my hand, and my recycling bin as well. Moreover, I completely enjoy my Delta touch faucet. My lights are on sensors too (inside & out) - just walk by when it is dark and voila - let there be light. Automatic soap dispensers save soap and no touching there either making the surrounding area cleaner and liquid soap free especially when you have kids. Same goes for automatic toothpaste dispensers. Know what else is pretty cool? My automatic paper towel dispenser that will dispense and cut any size sheet I need with, you guessed it, a wave of my hand. Hec, even my truck starts its engine with the press of a button from hundreds of feet away. My TV even turns off if no one is watching it. Having a Touchless Toilet sounds pretty good to me, and I would think one would flush the toilet more so; but here's a really good reason to have a touchless toilet and why I bought the adapter kit from Kholer and soon will try out the new Delta version: my damn handle gets stuck constantly, and for those who are unaware of this, my toilet could run constantly flushing for days, and I am not the only one with that problem either. And, if the toilet happens to get clogged when this happens, we're talking major flooding of disgusting used toilet water. I know cause it already happened to me. Another reason is that my toilet handle isn't very flat - it's more of a Victorian style and the toilet lid won't rest flush, or totally upright when in the up position. This is not only bothersome, but damages the lid on my automatic toilet seat that automatically turns on a deodorizing fan and fragrance when it senses your butt pressure on the seat. I would also like to point out that yes, the toilet handle is probably full of germs & bacteria. If you can't prevent that so much un public, why not at least prevent it in your own home whereas your home is supposed to be your safe haven. You can build up your immune system in plenty of other places. I say, clap on, clap off.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

     
     
    Fairfield mayor ready to share a whale of a tale

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1, 2 Comments

     
    Nonagenarian recounts life as spy in World War II

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

     
    Republican women to hear about immigration reform

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

     
    2-day event will focus on bullying prevention

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

     
    Kaiser offers Capoot scholarships

    By Bill Hicks | From Page: A4

     
     
    Wolk to chair committee on state’s wine industry

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

    Suisun City police log: Feb. 25, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

     
    Fairfield police log: Feb. 25, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

    .

    US / World

    Llamas on the loose trends on Twitter

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Two inured in hazmat explosion

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

    No charges yet for train crash truck driver

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

     
    After 67 years of marriage, couple dies holding hands

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Missing 400-year-old Italian books found in California

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Sacramento man pressured to remove swastikas

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 3 Comments

     
    Not guilty plea for suspect in Hollywood exec murder

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Feds: 3 accused in Islamic State plot vocal about beliefs

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

     
    Vandalism in Arizona shows the Internet’s vulnerability

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    Prosecutor: Mom craved attention, poisoned child with salt

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    Saudi man convicted of conspiracy in ’98 US embassy bombings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    Panel: Use new meningitis vaccines only for outbreaks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    House GOP weighs new approach on Homeland Security

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    Militants abduct more Christians, smash ancient artifacts

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

     
    Ukraine, rebels start pulling back heavy weapons in the east

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

    ‘Jihadi John’ raised in UK, studied computers, reports say

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Living

    Today in History: Feb. 27, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Community Calendar: Feb. 27, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

    Horoscopes: Feb. 27, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

     
    I’m worried about how my wife’s erratic behavior is affecting our kids

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

    .

    Entertainment

    Week in preview Feb. 27-March 5, 2015

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

     
    Conan O’Brien takes his show to Cuba for a special hour

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Review: Smith, Robbie pour on the charm in sharp ‘Focus’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Custom dress Lupita Nyong’o wore at Oscars reported stolen

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    ABC’s Sawyer does prime-time prison special

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Q&A: Writer-director-actor Mark Duplass is a busy guy

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Actor Will Patton charged with DUI in native South Carolina

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    AP Exclusive: Redmayne lends voice to “Thomas & Friends”

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Entertainment Calendar: Feb. 27, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

     
    Tea Leoni in a happy state as star of ‘Madam Secretary’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

    TVGrid

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    Graceland brings Elvis back to his Las Vegas home

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

    .

    Sports

    LeBron scores 42, Cavs beat Warriors for 18th win in last 20

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
     
    A’s begin baseball’s mandatory domestic violence training

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

    Earthquakes set to open new MLS stadium

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    Kings’ Collison to have surgery, re-evaluated in 3-6 weeks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    AP source: 49ers to bid to host college football title game

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    Bulls say Rose to have surgery on Friday

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    NASCAR back on track for extra day of testing in Atlanta

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    No word on possible MLB discipline for Angels star Hamilton

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    Giants closer Casilla hit on shin during batting practice

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    LeBron not happy colleges recruiting 10-year-old son

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    IOC member, once critical of Rio, now sees ‘great progress’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    Judge rules for Peterson, opening door for reinstatement

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    Herman survives windy day; McIlroy stumbles at Honda Classic

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    Roberts, NBA writers open discussion over locker room access

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    IOC relaxes rule on athletes and sponsors during Olympics

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    Nevada gambling regulators sign off on Olympic betting

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    Video shows Hernandez dancing near gas pump before killing

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    .

    Business

    5 things to know about ‘net neutrality’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Regulators approve tougher rules for Internet providers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

    Volkswagen Jetta is a pleasure to live with, not just to gawk at

    By Washington Post | From Page: C1 | Gallery

     
    Nissan executive known as ‘father of the Z’ dies at 105

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

    Strong reliability scores should help Buick brand’s rebirth

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

     
    Medical marijuana passes tough first hurdle in Utah

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

    Applications for US jobless aid rise to 313,000

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

     
    Google looks for more revenue from ads in Android app store

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

    Walmart CEO wading through mounting issues

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11, 1 Comment

     
    Pew study: Americans still stressed despite improved economy

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

    Facebook allows users to ‘fill in’ gender option

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11, 1 Comment

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Donald Grimm

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Pickles

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Garfield

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Frank and Ernest

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Baby Blues

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    B.C.

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Get Fuzzy

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Rose is Rose

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Wizard of Id

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Zits

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Blondie

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Baldo

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    For Better or Worse

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Sally Forth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Dilbert

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Peanuts

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Beetle Bailey

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Crossword

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

     
    Cryptoquote

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

    Bridge

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

     
    Word Sleuth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

    Sudoku

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9