Friday, December 19, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

It’s all about my brother Orvis . . . er . . . I mean ‘Juer’

Orvis "T" Wade, Jr. as a kid and on the Suisun City Planning Commission (click picture to view gallery)

Orvis "T" Wade, Jr. as a kid and on the Suisun City Planning Commission (click picture to view gallery)

By
From page A2 | April 29, 2013 |

My oldest brother’s first name is Orvis, which is kind of unusual. What’s more unusual is his full name: Orvis T. Wade Jr. The “T” doesn’t stand for anything like the “S” in Harry S. Truman.

When my three other brothers and I were kids, we couldn’t pronounce “junior” so even though he’s now 53 we still call him by his childhood name “Juer.” For years I spelled it “Jewer,” but it started to look really close to being politically incorrect and my wife Beth suggested the alternate spelling.

The only other Orvis besides my late father I’ve come across is the high-end fishing equipment and sporting goods company. Ironically one of their signature products are rubber . . . wait for it . . . Orvis Waders.

One more fun fact about my brother’s name: the chorus of Aerosmith’s “Walk this Way” (not the Run-DMC remake) sounds just like they are saying “Orvis Wade” eight times. I kid you not and you will never hear it the other way again.

Juer has always been the funniest person I know. I remember as a kid, he spent a week at Idlewild Christian Camp in Virginia and on Friday night the families went to watch the different cabins perform funny skits. Well, Juer’s cabin just let him do a solo improv set, ala the late Jonathan Winters, and it was hysterical.

I wanted to be like him as little brothers often do. My younger brother Kelvin wrote a column recently where he said he developed a taste for rock ‘n’ roll music from me. Well, I  got it from Juer. In addition to funk and soul, he listened to Elton John and Wings and I picked up on it.

When our parents were gone, my brothers and I would have intense battles that could last all day and foster much resentment. Juer participated in the sibling warfare, but always kept an ear out for my dad’s Peugeot arriving with our folks.

When they drove up, he would alert us to the impending danger. We would all get whuppings if caught in battle mode. Juer would yell “Red Alert! Mom and Dad are home! Nobody tells on nobody, right?” We’d then shift into cold war détente until the next flare-up.

Other Juer tidbits:

  • He loved mini-bikes and tried, unsuccessfully, to subliminally persuade my parents to buy him one by leaving mini-bike magazines everywhere.
  • When I encounter people who knew Juer when he worked at Food Maxx or somewhere else, they always love him. Always. People who tell me they love me usually think I’m Kelvin.
  • He was always smart, just not a great student. According to my mom, it started early, as she once got a phone call from a concerned kindergarten teacher because Juer was “bitin’ some child.”
  • He always loved law enforcement, watched “Police Story” religiously and devoured Joseph Wambaugh books.
  • He was notorious for pranks like picking the bathroom lock when you were taking a bath and making you beg him not to douse you with ice-cold water. I learned to just berate him because no matter how exquisite your begging, he always threw the water on you anyway.
  • Another prank he’d do was sneak up and plant a huge, loud, wet kiss on your cheek like Bugs Bunny used to do to Elmer Fudd.

·         Once, unbeknownst to me, he’d steamed open my letter from the DMV with my driver’s license in it. When I looked at the back, the specific organs he’d typed in that I’d agreed to donate in case of my death read: ”left big toe, right ear lobe and nostrils.” It later got me out of a speeding ticket when a Fairfield cop cracked up upon seeing it.

Juer has been married for 30 years to his wife Patty, works for the California Highway Patrol, has an MBA and is on the Suisun City Planning Commission. I am beyond proud.

Growing up, a bear hug from my big brudda felt like the safest place on Earth and it still does.

He still occasionally does the Bugs Bunny smooch thing and I don’t even mind that now.

Much.

Reach Fairfield writer Tony Wade at kelvinsbrother@sbcglobal.net.

Tony Wade

Tony Wade

Tony Wade is the slightly older yet infinitely more handsome brother of long-time DR columnist Kelvin Wade
LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 2 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • vince guisandeApril 29, 2013 - 1:51 am

    I attended Armijo with your Brother Orvis, He was always of good cheer. Always enjoy running into him in town on occasion. However it's been way to long. Please give him my regards. Vince

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Orvis WadeApril 29, 2013 - 5:30 am

    I was really surprised this morning while reading the paper. Being proud goes both ways, I wish I could express how proud I am of each of you, Tony, Kelvin (Kel) and Adrian (Scott). I remember dad telling me several times on his visits, how great his life had been. I kept thinking, but you had a lot of tragedy happen in your life. That did not matter, it was what was happening now. The past gets you to the present, do not dwell on the negative past. I have had a great life.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
 
Sondheim’s ‘Woods’ holiday showcase for Missouri Street Theatre

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Groundbreakings, ribbon-cuttings play role in civic life

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Frankye Kelly ready to spread holiday cheer

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Celebrate the magic of Christmas

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
 
Safe streets task force work nets 3

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

Santas have busy week at schools

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Longtime Suisun harbor master to retire

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4

Mosquito abatement district board has opening

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4

 
 
Solano College approves officers, meeting schedule

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A4

 
Fairfield police log: Dec. 17, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Dec. 17, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Police arrest 2nd suspect in Fairfield credit union robbery

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
.

US / World

Sony hacking fallout puts all companies on alert

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Sony film took aim at North Korea’s biggest taboo

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Timeline of the Sony Pictures Entertainment hack

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Digital dilemma: How will US respond to Sony hack?

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Rubio, other Congressional Cubans step up Obama criticism

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Spy’s parents search for son after Cuba-US deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Hope and some fear in Cuba amid thaw with US

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Next steps on Cuba: Normalizing could take awhile

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

California’s top utility regulator defends record

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
‘Pretty horrible’ scene; car slams into crowd

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

San Francisco Bay Bridge fasteners not in danger of failing

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Police: Drunk man shot while entering wrong house

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

CHP, Oakland in tiff over plainclothes officers at protests

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Local emergencies in Northern California counties after rain

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Tsarnaev appears in court for 1st time since 2013

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
President signs legislation ending Nazi benefit checks

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

2 states challenge Colorado marijuana legalization

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
‘Prison Houdini’ set to make his 1st legal escape

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Top Islamic militants killed; more US troops going to Iraq

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Feds sue NYC over Rikers Island jail violence

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Russian sailors leaving France without warship

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
Putin: West wants to defang, declaw Russian bear

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Suspected Islamic extremists kidnap 185 in Nigeria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
European court rules obesity can be a disability

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

.

Opinion

 
America’s response to the torture report shameful

By Clive Crook | From Page: A11

Another look at school bonds

By George Guynn Jr. | From Page: A11

 
Editorial Cartoon: Dec. 19, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

News of the day strikes a chord

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11

 
.

Living

Today in History: Dec. 19, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Dec. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Dec. 19, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: D8

 
Should I use Child Protective Services threat to get back rent?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: D8

.

Entertainment

Week in preview Dec. 19-25, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Sweet ‘Night at the Museum’ bids farewell to Robin Williams

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Review: ‘The Hobbit’ wraps with a Middle Earth melee

By Jake Coyle | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Craig Ferguson to end 10 years as host of ‘Late Late Show’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Eric Idle brings ‘Not the Messiah’ to Carnegie Hall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Entertainment calendar Dec. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

.

Sports

 
Warriors beat Thunder 114-109 after Durant injury

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

A’s acquire lefty De La Rosa from Arizona for cash

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Raiders defense depleted by injuries

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

49ers’ Harbaugh mum on reported offer from Michigan

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
49ers’ Aldon Smith hopes to build off tough year

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

A’s trade All-Star catcher Derek Norris to Padres

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Rodriguez boys open Les Curry Tournament with victory

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B8

39 bowl games and a reason to watch every one

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Column: Thaw in US-Cuba relations warms up MLB

By Jim Litke | From Page: B8

Rivera: Newton ‘probably’ will start vs. Browns

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Bears bench QB Jay Cutler for Clausen

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

‘Hands Up’ players to attend Ferguson Christmas party

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Celtics trade Rondo to Mavericks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Signups for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

 
This date in sports history for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B11

 
.

Business

Roomiest Subaru Legacy debuts for 2015

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
Dow industrials have their best day in three years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Ford expands drivers air bag recall nationwide

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Constantly changing online prices stump shoppers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

.

Obituaries

Dominic C. Scolaro

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Ernest “Ernie” Moretti

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Travis Curt Price

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Jennie Ponce Reyes

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Patricia “Pat” Anne Stringfield-Pierre

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Lisa Dee McHughes

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics