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It’s been nice knowing you

By May 17, 2011

How will all of humanity end? It isn’t a very pleasant prospect, is it? It probably won’t happen during our lifetime, but it’s inevitable that one day all human life will become extinct on this planet.

So how do you think it will happen? Natural disaster? A human-triggered cataclysm? Killer robots roaming the countryside? A UFO invasion? Willful self-destruction? Giant asteroid? A zombie invasion? Or, are there “greater” forces working against us?

According to a man named Harold Camping, this Saturday will be the end of the world as we know it. He has had May 21, 2011 circled on his doomsday calendar for many years now. This is especially disturbing to me because my birthday is May 27 and I was really looking forward to being 39 years old . . . again.

So why does Mr. Camping think the world will end Saturday? Well, for starters, it’s supposedly the 7,000th anniversary of the day that Noah closed the door of the ark, right before the great flood began. And technically, the world won’t be destroyed. This is simply the day that the rapture will begin. This is the day that the 8,400-day tribulation will come to an end.

What’s that you say? You didn’t know that the tribulation was going on? Where have you been? See, the world won’t end until Oct. 21, when it is destroyed by fire, so get the marshmallows ready. S’mores anyone?

If I sound a bit skeptical it’s only because Mr. Camping has done this stunt before. The last time he predicted this very scenario was back in September 1997, and I believe his calculations were thankfully just a tad bit off.

If Mr. Camping is wrong again, another man, Ronald Weinland, has written a book explaining that there have already been six seals opened, and the seventh seal will be opened this fall. If that doesn’t pan out, two other doomsday prophets have warned us to cancel Christmas. And if that doesn’t happen, there’s plenty more where that came from.

Sheesh. It’s almost getting to be like you can’t even trust an apocalypse prophecy anymore.

On a serious note, during the last 20 years, doomsday prophecies have been more popular than ever before. For instance, in 1991, the Nation of Islam leader, Louis Farrakham, proclaimed the gulf war to be the “war of Armageddon . . . the final war.” Jehovah’s Witnesses made their last “end-of-days” installment in 1994. Currently, they are out of the prediction business. Also, in the July 27, 1997 issue of the esteemed Weekly World News, one article revealed that the oceans will shrink, the deserts will expand, crops will fail, mass starvation, changing weather patterns and mankind will disappear in the year 2001. In 2002, Al Gore updated these profound ideas by calling it global warming.

A big doomsday year was 1998 because, logically, 1998 divided by 3 is 666. Edgar Cayce predicted the Earth would have a new pole, creating massive tidal waves and earthquakes. Hal Lindsay’s predictions didn’t come true. The “final-days” prognostications of the Nostradamus quatrains for July 1999 never came true, either. At least not that I know of.

Anyway, if it doesn’t quite work out Saturday, we still have the Mayan calendar to contend with, and it officially ends on Dec. 21, 2012. After that, there are serious contenders for 2016, 2034 and September 2047.

I should also mention that there’s an asteroid named Apophis that will come amazingly close to Earth on April 13, 2029. It is 320 meters wide and will fly above us at 18,000 miles. For comparison, most satellites orbit at 22,000 miles. No one in recorded history has ever seen an asteroid in space so close and bright. And if our gravity pulls it too close, rocking its flight path, we might see it again in 2036 . . . and a WHOLE LOT CLOSER!

My only wish is that it doesn’t hit Earth before May 27 because that’s my birthday. I’ll be 39 years old . . . again.

Reach C.W. Plunkett at [email protected]

C.W. Plunkett

C.W. Plunkett


Discussion | 10 comments

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  • LindaMay 19, 2011 - 1:58 pm

    wow. i seriously did not know of this man and his predictions. yet again, like you mentioned, there are alot of "doomsdays" that have been mentioned and/or are bound to happen (according to these people). I am content with the simple mayan calendar and even hope THAT is also just another 'miss-calculation'. and still im not worried much about it, because according to a man who practices the mayan culture and religion, "the calendar's termination does not meen an ending of time, but the ending of an era. it just so happens that this era finshes at this predicted time and we happen to be in it. by the way, why would the world end when our ancient ancestors said, it would be in every religion the same." Then again, all the past doomsday predictions have not acctually happend... we are still here. haha! just like the Y2K bug that was supposebly going to change our world, now we have children playing with ipads.

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  • Jason KnowlesMay 19, 2011 - 2:38 pm

    Well, I better meet up with Artimus, CD Brooks, etc. before Saturday evening. Unless they, like me, fell way short of the glory and well be left behind. :-)

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  • Jason KnowlesMay 19, 2011 - 2:39 pm

    "...will be left behind", sorry.

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  • Shira Israel-LevinMay 19, 2011 - 2:54 pm

    The predictions mentioned by Mr Plunkett are just that. They are being put forth by men who don't know the Bible as well as they think. Jesus told his disciples who had asked him about the end of the world "of that day and hour know no man, no not the angels of heaven but my Father." Matthew 24:36. There are other problems with Mr. Camping's prediction. For one thing during the Tribulation the AntiChrist is supposed to come on the scene. Also, his False Prophet. The Third Temple is to be standing and the sacrifices offered again. Then the AntiChrist is supposed to stand in the Temple, put and end to the sacrifices, and declare himself God. As far as I know those things haven't happened yet. The authority on what's going to take place is the Bible, God's word, not men.

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  • Space CowgirlMay 19, 2011 - 3:08 pm

    I'm rooting for the ZOMBIE INVASION!!! Woo hoo! Bring it.

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  • mckaylaMay 19, 2011 - 3:23 pm

    i dont want to die this weekend!!! i have always been scared of dieing and what not! what is it going to be like when we die? what will it look like? will it start al over again and forget about it or what? will we be ghosts in space? and plus thats the day when my birthday is!

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  • Kathleen WasilchinMay 19, 2011 - 7:02 pm

    Very inciteful. Very witty. Very Funny. As always, a very entertaining column sir.

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  • MichelleMay 20, 2011 - 5:19 am

    Love your article!! Very well written! Okay, heres my comment, - short and sweet: If JESUS from the Holy Bible said that no man knows his coming, no man knows the day or the hour of His coming, - not man, nor angles, not even the SON (JESUS!!!) But God the Father is the ONLY ONE who knows!! Now is JESUS CHRIST said it, I believe it and that settles that! ANYONE claiming to know the day or the hour of His coming is a lier. Who is the father of lies? None other than satan himself, - also in the Holy Bible. Satan comes but to steal, kill and destroy. he is the father of lies and the author of CONFUSION!! If ANYTHING that is being ministered thru the Holy Spirit to a man in order to reach the peoples hearts and spirits, I can assure you it will be coupled with the grace, love and wisdom of the Lord, not fear and damnation!! We are in the NEW COVENANT time people!! The GOOD NEWS is to be preached to all the nations, not this condemnation and doom!! This is CLEARLY trickery of lucifer.

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  • Kristine BarreraMay 20, 2011 - 8:55 pm

    I too, have a birthday about to come forth on the 27th of May...media craze does not entice me...I am writing a book about death, losing my father 30 years ago and my brother, 8 years now...as I turn 38...no ending in site, no zombie craze, just a week a way right now, for me, to a great dinner at a Japanese restaurant and some fun and laughter with great friends :) Loved your article, tho...

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  • CW PlunkettMay 21, 2011 - 3:44 pm

    Whew! One doomsday prophecy down... 327 to go... : )

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