Friday, October 31, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I use odd music as wake-up calls

WilliamHungInspirationAlbumCover

By
From page A2 | July 21, 2014 |

I like odd music. I would say parody, but that calls to mind Weird Al Yankovic, who I love, but is not really what I am referring to. I like hard-to-define music and found a use for it beyond my own enjoyment.

Every year, my church goes to Sierra Bible Camp near Lake Almanor. It is usually my job to rouse people from their slumber and I use the camp PA system that blares everywhere, including inside the cabins. I play nice music at first and gently tell everyone it is time to rise and shine.

But I have a special playlist just for the stragglers. When I go to camp next week, I plan to use some of the following:

Christopher Lee: How come nobody told me that Sir Christopher Lee, the English actor who was the quintessential Dracula and played Saruman in the “Lord of the Rings” movies, is a heavy metal recording artist? At age 92!

A couple of years ago, he recorded a metal concept album about Charlemagne with a guitarist from Judas Priest. Just this past May, he came out with an extended-play disc called “Metal Knight.”

The latter platter (OK, it is a digital file, but where’s the pizzazz in saying that?) includes Lee’s metal versions of “My Way” and “The Impossible Dream.” I sure hope he practices safe head banging at that age.

Mrs. Miller: In the 1960s, Elva Ruby Connes Miller recorded popular songs such as Petula Clark’s “Downtown,” the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine” and The Mamas and Papas’ “Monday, Monday” in a ghastly, shrill, off-key and often off-tempo voice.

The best (worst) part of her “singing” is her exaggerated vibrato. She added it with the same gusto that record producer Bruce Dickinson adds cowbell.

William Shatner: Obviously best known as the actor who played “Star Trek” Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, Shatner started his recording career in the 1960s.

One of my favorites is his cover of the Bob Dylan-penned song “Mr. Tambourine Man” and the Lennon-McCartney “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds,” which he performs as heavy-handed dramatic readings. It is precisely the kind of thing you don’t want to hear piped into your cabin before your caffeine levels have stabilized.

Various Artists: To mix it up, before I break out the really big guns, I will sometimes throw together “normal” songs – with an odd twist. “There’s No Business Like Show Business” from Ethel Merman’s inexplicable 1978 disco album is one. KISS’s Gene Simmons’ 1978 recording of “When You Wish Upon a Star” is always good. You can’t go wrong with Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate singing Whitney Houston’s “The Greatest Love of All” from the film “Coming to America.”

William Hung: He won fans when he tried out for “American Idol” in 2004, singing Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs,” but he really sparkled like coal on his debut disc “Inspiration.”

Hung’s off-key warbling on R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” is amazing . . . ly horrid. Also, while the lyrics to Elton John’s “Rocket Man” have flummoxed people for decades (“Burning all the shoes of Avalon?” “Hurling down his shoes on everyone?” “Burning up his suit of herringbone?”), at least Sir Elton used traditional musical keys and didn’t try to invent some as Hung does.

The Shaggs: This is the nuclear option. The Shaggs’ music is so otherworldly awful that it just may be beautiful. The short story is that in the 1960s, a man named Austin Wiggins wanted his three daughters to be a successful rock band. He made them practice and they recorded an album called “Philosophy of the World.”

A business partner absconded with 900 of the 1,000 albums pressed and much later the disc came to the attention of people, well kinda like me, who love that kind of horrible thing.

Words fail me in trying to describe the discordant, atonal, unmusic they created. You have to hear it. Google “The Shaggs,” but not on a full stomach.

So there you have it, surefire ways to wake someone up in an obnoxious way.

The absolute last resort is blaring Yoko Ono songs. Just be sure to check your local statutes, as that is understandably illegal in many municipalities.

You’re welcome.

Reach Fairfield writer Tony Wade at kelvinsbrother@sbcglobal.net.

Tony Wade

Tony Wade

Tony Wade is the slightly older yet infinitely more handsome brother of long-time DR columnist Kelvin Wade
LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 2 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Paul OlsonJuly 21, 2014 - 6:35 am

    Reveille on the bugle is a time tested and very effective method. I was not the most popular person in my Boy Scout troop as a result.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • fsmytheAugust 09, 2014 - 8:41 am

    How bout this Psyberdelix vid??? http://youtu.be/yfMfSZpB0z4

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

Real estate agent pens, produces movie

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
 
Dad finds passion creating set pieces for son’s shows

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Neighborhood candy hunts of the past

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
Vintage Fair on tap at McBride Senior Center

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
Candy from sky highlights North Texas Street event

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Fairfield police log: Oct. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Oct. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
.

US / World

California eyes $500 billion in water spending

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Judge approves Stockton’s bankruptcy plan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Marine wants new charges in Iraq war crime tossed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

 
Roseville officer accused of criminal threats

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

Poll: Democrats leading in all statewide races

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
Man charged with murder in SWAT officer shooting

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Teen arrested in threat at Sacramento school

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Police make arrest in slaying of Oakland mom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Retrial in assault case over stray cat feeding

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 3 Comments

 
Missing California hunter roasted bugs, lizards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Pilot identified in California jet crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Lawsuit: Surgical gowns let diseases pass through

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Fearing Ebola? Doctors say get a flu shot

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Questions, answers about California’s Ebola policy

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Maine in standoff with nurse over Ebola safeguards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Relatives suspected poisoning in family’s deaths

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Pair convicted in secret $1.6 M Navy silencer deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Guard troops sent to site of Hawaii lava flow

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Terminally ill woman may postpone taking her life

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Man’s own dog helps police bust him on drug charge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Israel closes Jerusalem holy site after shooting

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Fearing uprising, Iraq militants hunt ex-police

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Vatican admits Sistine Chapel frescoes ‘whitened’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
Death penalty sought for trooper ambush suspect

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

 
Editorial Cartoons: Oct. 31, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
 
Man’s prosecution unwarranted

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 4 Comments

Are we safe now?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 18 Comments

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Oct. 31, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Oct. 31, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

My husband sends texts filled with ‘dirty talk’ to an old flame

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

 
Horoscopes: Oct. 31, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Jorge Garcia makes the most of ‘Hawaii Five-O’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Week in preview Oct. 31-Nov. 6, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Monica Potter wants to save her show ‘Parenthood’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Review: Jake Gyllenhaal, tightly coiled and creepy

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Exhibit on Paul Simon’s life to debut at Rock Hall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
PBS touts 2013-14 ratings growth

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Reality TV show ‘Big Brother’ to debut in China

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
‘The View’ now under ABC News as further revamping

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Review: ‘Sleep’ a decidedly average psych thriller

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Entertainment calendar Oct. 31, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B4

Winter’s wife has blues listening to his new album

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Galway Kinnell dies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
.

Sports

 
 
Benicia fends off Vanden, 35-21

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B7 | Gallery

New dynasty: Giants capture 3rd title in 5 years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Sonoma Raceway to host IndyCar Series finale in 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Warriors exercise options on Barnes, Ezeli

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Mack making impact for Raiders even without sacks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

Bye week helps 49ers Vernon Davis’ recovery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
This date in sports history for Friday, Oct. 31, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Prep football capsules: Week 9

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

.

Business

Not so sweet: Chocolate prices are set to rise

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Apple CEO publicly acknowledges that he’s gay

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11, 1 Comment | Gallery

FTC accuses Gerber of false claim on baby formula

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
.

Obituaries

Robert Louis Wright

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Oscar Lee Vezeau

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9