I wrote a novel that was published a couple of weeks ago and is available on Amazon.
Surprised? Maybe about the novel, but you’re probably more surprised they let me use this space to shamelessly promote something I wrote.
So am I. So let’s keep this between us.
It’s called “Not Quite Camelot.” You can search my name – or that title – on Amazon.com to find and (perhaps) buy it. It’s available in both print and electronic versions.
Since I’m wildly creative and know what works at newspapers, I decided to use the tried-and-true question-and-answer format in this column to make it appear that someone else is involved, not just me talking about myself.
Got it? Let’s go. And again, don’t tell my bosses I did this.
Q: I loved this book! Tell us a little about it.
A: Thanks so much. That means a lot to me, coming from you. The novel is about a guy who knows he’s about to get caught for embezzling a lot of money and plans to kill himself rather than go to prison. He withdraws $25,000 in purloined funds and plans to mail it to his wife as he prepares to commit suicide at the headquarters of his company. Then the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks occur, wiping out the office in the World Trade Center. He suddenly realizes he can stage his death, find a new identity and start a new life – while his wife and daughter get his life insurance money. He does it and finds out how difficult it is to live without any legal work history, education or any legitimate past and without any preparation to do so.
Q: Sounds fantastic! Where did you get the idea?
A: I made it up. Thanks for the compliment.
Q: Where did the title come from?
A: The character’s name is Jack Kennedy and he’s spent much of his life hearing JFK jokes. But he, of course, has to take a new name. By the way, that question had a dangling participle. “Where did you get the title” would have been better.
Q: Thanks. You’re a really good editor. When did you write it?
A: I did most of the writing several years ago when I was a sports editor who worked mostly nights. I wrote during the day, then came to work. It’s been edited, rewritten and edited again several times since then.
Q: You try to write funny columns. Is this funny?
A: It’s about as funny as this specific column, which is to say not funny. And why did you say “you try to write funny columns?” Are you saying they’re not funny?
Q: Let’s keep going. What has been the reaction of people to the novel?
A: People have been extremely nice and encouraging. Most are friends and family members, but I, of course, like encouragement. I now insist on introducing myself as “well-known author Brad Stanhope.” Even when I come home from work.
Q: How are you marketing it?
A: Using social media. And writing a column about it in a phony question-and-answer format.
Q: How long is it?
A: It’s 107,000 words – about 320 pages.
Q: What is the name of the river that runs through Guyana, Ecuador, Venezuela, Bolivia, Brazil, Colombia and Peru?
Q: What’s the wildest river in the world?
Q: What’s the best way to get your novel?
A: If you need the answer to this question, you haven’t been paying attention.
Reach well-known author Brad Stanhope at 427-6958 or firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/bradstanhope.