Saturday, January 31, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Good Grief! The Peanuts 50th class reunion

peanuts_784x0

By
From page A2 | August 25, 2014 |

“Have you seen Lucy?” Linus asked Charlie Brown, and then sipped his beer. “She told me she was coming. I hope she’s not crabby.”

“I am so over all that kid stuff, Linus,” Charlie Brown said.

“Really? Well, how come you are still wearing that same yellow shirt with the black zig-zag on it?” Linus asked.

“Look who’s talking! You may try to pull off that cloth in your top pocket as a blue hanky, but I know it’s part  of your original security blanket,” Charlie Brown said. “How are your grandkids?”

“They are adorable, but don’t listen to a word I say. It’s like they don’t even hear my voice, but instead hear a muted trombone or something,” Linus said.

Pig Pen, resplendent in an Armani suit, was sitting at the table at the front of the hotel conference room. He tapped a spoon on the side of his water glass.

“Welcome! So glad you could all make it,” Pig Pen said. “If everyone will take your seat by where your name tag is on the tables, we can begin.”

They all sat down and Pig Pen continued.

“In front of you there’s a gift with your name on it. We are going to take turns opening them and announcing what’s inside,” he said.

One by one they did as instructed. Sally yelled out, “I got a Best Buy gift card!”

Violet said, “I got an iPod!”

Charlie Brown unwrapped his and could not believe that the whole exercise was not to show off Pig Pen’s wealth and generosity, but to set up a joke.

His “gift” was a rock.

Charlie Brown refused to once more be the butt of the joke and flung the rock nonchalantly over his shoulder.

Unfortunately, Schroeder was walking by with his bust of Beethoven, to place it on the baby grand piano by the bar. Schroeder stumbled on the rock, lost his footing and accidentally flung the bust in the air. It came crashing down on top of Woodstock.

Snoopy watched the whole ghastly scene unfold from across the room and, although he was close to 350 in dog years, flew across the room, cursed in beagle, and began to choke Charlie Brown. He had been emancipated from Brown 30 years prior, but still held residual resentment over years of late suppers.

Charlie Brown fell to the ground and was surprised at the grip his former pet was able to get, using paws. As he started to black out, Charlie Brown’s mind wandered and he suddenly realized why the woman next to him looked familiar.

She was the Little Red-Haired Girl! More accurately, she was now the Rather-Chunkified-Somewhat-Red-But-Mainly-Gray-Haired-Woman-Who-Reeked-of-Cigarettes.

Sally was screaming, Linus was praying loudly to the Great Pumpkin, and Franklin tried to break it up, but it was Peppermint Patty who saved Charlie Brown by punching Snoopy in his snout.

“You OK, Chuck?” Peppermint Patty asked, helping Charlie Brown up. Snoopy tended to Woodstock, who appeared to have recovered.

Charlie Brown’s neck hurt, as did his pride, and he would have just left, but right then he saw Lucy in the doorway.

Blinding hatred instantly made his neck pain dissipate. It had always been a toss-up between what was more intense, his loathing of the Kite-Eating Tree or of Lucy Van Pelt, aka evil incarnate. He was sure he hated her more now.

He tried to leave, but Lucy disarmed him with a bear hug. Charlie Brown tried to keep his hate up, but Lucy was a changed person. They sat and talked and even laughed about their nickel psychiatric sessions and wild exploits on the baseball diamond.

“Speaking of sports, Charlie Brown, I have a surprise,” Lucy said opening her purse. She pulled out a shiny new football still in its protective cardboard container. “I thought about it a lot and I owe you one time of letting you kick the football.”

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and Charlie Brown was startled to realize his own eyes were moist. They embraced and made their way outside.

Moments later a loud AAUGH! followed by a percussive WUMP! was heard.

Reach Fairfield writer Tony Wade at [email protected].

Tony Wade

Tony Wade

Tony Wade is the slightly older yet infinitely more handsome brother of long-time DR columnist Kelvin Wade
LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 1 comment

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • JimboAugust 25, 2014 - 4:50 pm

    Funniest spoof cartoon I ever saw had Charlie running to kick the ball, and the next frame you see Lucy going flying. And the last frame has Charlie with a content smile saying "Easier target".

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

Solano County confirms 1st local case of measles

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: A1, 3 Comments

 
SPCA begins caring for more than 100 rescued dogs

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1, 4 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Top workers, top students – and succulent crab

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Partial Fairfield freeway road closure starts Monday

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

DUI patrols set for Super Bowl Sunday

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

 
Armijo students savor catered Fuddruckers lunch

By Susan Hiland And Susan Winlow | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Fairfield police log: Jan. 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Suisun City police log: Jan. 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
.

US / World

Stanford University to get $50 million to produce vaccines

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

 
Man charged in California family’s deaths will be own lawyer

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

PG&E releases thousands of emails with state regulators

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Yosemite park fee hikes coming in March

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

San Francisco coroner says human remains are from 1 man

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
US mulls Middle East-North Africa category for 2020 Census

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Balloon crew makes history crossing Pacific Ocean

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Murder trial begins 35 years after 6-year-old vanished in NY

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Judge: Funeral home wrongly sold Lee Harvey Oswald’s casket

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Jordan awaits proof hostage is alive after swap deadline

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Judge expresses doubt about constitutionality of no-fly list

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
French fracture laid bare as 8-year-old praises terrorists

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
.

Opinion

 
GOP should plan for post-Obamacare world

By Ramesh Ponnuru | From Page: A8, 7 Comments

Editorial Cartoon: Jan. 31, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Solano College news makes me sick

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

.

Living

Today in History: Jan. 31, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Jan. 31, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Jan. 31, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B7

 
My recently widowed mother is already thinking about re-marrying

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B7

Five ways 3D-printed food will change the way we eat

By The Washington Post | From Page: B10, 1 Comment

 
.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
List: 10 Super Bowl ads you’ll be talking about

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Rod McKuen, mega-selling poet and performer, dies at 81

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Miranda Lambert leads ACM Awards with 8 nominations

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Shakira gives birth to 2nd baby with Spanish football star

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
.

Sports

 
Mustangs ride away from Indian’s home court with 66-60 victory

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Hayward, Utah Jazz upset Golden State Warriors 110-100

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

LeBron returns, Love, Irving team for 44, as Cavs top Kings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Djokovic beats Wawrinka to reach fifth Australian Open final

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Kings’ Cousins to replace Kobe Bryant in All-Star game

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Laird leads as Tiger shoots 82 and misses the cut

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Seau, Warner, Pace first-time Hall eligibles

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
N.H. Speedway general manager faces lewdness charge

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Judge: Jury can watch Super Bowl unless Hernandez mentioned

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Blackhawks Hall of Famer Stan Mikita has brain disorder

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Ko takes lead at LPGA opener, closes in on golf history

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Carroll says decision is Sherman’s if baby arrives early

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

NFL’s Goodell seeks to look past ‘tough year,’ to future

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
This date in sports history for Jan. 31, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

US consumer confidence at highest level in a decade

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Companies steering clear of Super Bowl name

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5, 1 Comment

.

Obituaries

Danica Gojkovich Ryder

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Anneliese Edith (Luckner) Fraser

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
.

Home Seller 1/31/2015

Quirky add-ons a common feature of celebrity homes

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR2

Real estate transactions for Jan. 31, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: HSR3

5 ways to make a kitchen more germ-free

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR3

Average US rate on 30-year mortgage rises to 3.66 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR3