Friday, September 19, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Extreme measures are necessary sometimes

borchert column sig

By
From page A2 | February 27, 2014 |

One of my least favorite things to do as a parent is to discipline my kids. I want us to get along all the time. I don’t want any screaming in my house, no crying, no talking back. I just want them to do what we ask them to do and have peace every day.

Since I have little girls who are extremely strong-willed and have fiery personalities, good behavior is not going to happen every day. As much as we challenge them to be great kids, my kids challenge me every day to be a great mommy.

Disciplining in our house started out as simple timeouts when my kids were young. Go to your room and take a break, we said. A couple of minutes later, when the kids are quiet, they can come down and we start fresh. Everyone wearing a smile.

As I get older, my patience and tolerance for tantrums and talking back is wearing thin. I go to drastic measures to discipline and after I punish my kids, I walk away laughing at myself because what I’ve just done doesn’t make sense.

It’s hard to take stuff away from my girls because they have so much “stuff” in their rooms – stuffed animals, toys, books. You name it. You take away a handful of stuff and it’s no big deal, because there’s more in there for them to play with.

The longer they go misbehaving, the more trips I make from their room to my room with a handful of their “stuff.” By the time they finally get settled down, I walk into my room and I have “stuff” all over my room. I’ve got a nice collection of stuffed animals, toys and books.

Then I get so desperate that I start taking away items they need every day – their backpacks for school, their shoes, their jackets. Heck, I’ve even taken away their blankets (don’t worry, they have plenty to keep them warm at night).

Of course, they get the essentials back the next day, but not Teddy. He stays in my room.

Last weekend, my 4-year-old cut her hair with her sister’s scissors. I again went to extremes and took away scissors from both girls (they aren’t allowed to use them now unless they are being supervised). My youngest daughter was obviously ashamed at being caught. She knew she messed up. I didn’t have to say too much. My extreme disciplinary action that night? She’s not allowed to play upstairs without supervision – ever. Yes, I told her ever.

This move hurts me more than it hurts her. My kids are independent and need their alone time . . . and so do their parents. But I need to be able to trust my kids. They need to know and understand that there are consequences to their actions. I can’t have them cutting hair – no matter whose hair it is – and whatever else they think needs to be cut around the house.

As much as I hate disciplining my kids, it has to be done. No matter how ridiculous and extreme it may seem at the time.

Angela Borchert is a freelance writer who lives in Vacaville. Reach her at angela.borchert@yahoo.com.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 6 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Skeptic ScroogeFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:15 am

    I cut mine when I was 4. As punishment, my parents never ever allowed me another slush puppy on Sunday after church. Although I never cut my own hair again, the real lesson I learned is how important it is to lie to my parents to stay out of trouble.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Teach5thFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:02 am

    I love this article as it applies not only to my life as a mom, but also as my role as a teacher. As a teacher this year I've taken away baggies of those stretchy bracelet-making things, taken away recesses, had kids stay after school, etc. as forms of "punishment. But, then, I miss having a 1/2 hour of solitude/prep time at lunchtime; or, if the kids are outside, I have to make sure they're not playing while sitting on the bench; etc. I guess it's the price we pay for trying to raise/teach kids.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • MichelleFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:13 am

    Cutting hair at 4 must run in the family. Remember my preschool pictures with the uneven bangs? :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • CD BrooksFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:53 am

    It's always refreshing and appreciated to see parents actually being parents! We don't do them any favors when we allow inappropriate behavior. But we still need to let them be kids. Good stuff!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • LoveFebruary 27, 2014 - 9:21 am

    Oh lowdy! I am going through the SAME thing with my 4 year old daughter.. she too is fierce, strong willed and opinionated. Sometimes it SUCKS to hear her tell me she doesn't like me when I enforce rules but it is what it is. I can only imagine what her attitude would be like as a teenager if we didn't nip it in the bud now.. Its tough work raising little ladies but they are worth every bit of it :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Kene WinstonFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:56 pm

    don't take this out of contence. it should be allowed and not punished by the law.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

Missouri Street Theatre set to open ‘Bonnie and Clyde’

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Shelter uses technology to reunite pets, owners

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Weekend full of jazz on tap in Vacaville

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Royal Tailor plans high-energy, genre-blending show

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Fairfield Delicatessen became Joe’s Buffet

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

Police make child molestation arrest

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A3, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Dignitaries celebrate opening of $30M courthouse

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Gender identity measure splits Garamendi, Logue

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

Fairfield police arrest 2 in robberies investigation

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Police seek help to find missing Fairfield man

By Glen Faison | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Fairfield eyes sale of excess government land

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A4

 
Men, again, are seen as missing in Fairfield

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Stolen vehicle investigation leads to 3 arrests

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Weather for Sept. 19, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B12

Suisun City police log: Sept. 17, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Fairfield police log: Sept. 17, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Man arrested in fast-growing California wildfire

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Strong Senate vote for Obama on Syria rebel aid

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Scots reject independence in historic vote

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Passenger says JetBlue plane filled with smoke

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Law makes earthquake insurance more understandable

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
GOP pushes diverse candidates, but will it matter?

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

PG&E emails may have violated rules, judge says

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
500 Berkeley students missed sex abuse classes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Boxer indicates big decision to come next year

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Father arrested in fatal stabbing of 6-year-old

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Health exchange addresses dropped policies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
UC system plan calls for anti-sex abuse effort

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Democratic state lawmaker arraigned on DUI charges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Sheriff: Fla. man kills 6 grandchildren, daughter

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Couple in Craigslist slaying sentenced to life

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
In wake of beheadings, Busch Gardens removes props

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Trooper ambush suspect added to most wanted list

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
CDC tells healthy adults not to forget flu vaccine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6 | Gallery

Border Patrol to test wearing cameras

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6 | Gallery

 
Kansas court: Remove Democrat from Senate ballot

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Ukraine’s pleas for lethal aid from US go unmet

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
British hostage appears in new video

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Witness: 21 killed by Mexico army had surrendered

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Militant gains illustrate plight of Syrian Kurds

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Series of attacks kills at least 36 in Iraq

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Sierra Leone to shut down for 3 days to slow Ebola

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

.

Opinion

 
Did the ‘War on Poverty’ fail?

By Ben Boychuk and Joel Mathis | From Page: A11

3 obscure bills show how big policy gets buried

By Dan Walters | From Page: A11

 
Do you feel more secure?

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11

My support for anyone but Moy

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11

 
.

Living

Today in History: Sept. 19, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Sept. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Sept. 19, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
Mother-in-law bothers me at work for kid’s minor infractions

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Week in preview Sept. 19-25, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Review: ‘Leave You’ has A-list cast, B-grade result

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Adam Driver shifts into hyper drive

By Jake Coyle | From Page: B2

 
‘The Voice’ winner goes to Broadway’s ‘Pippin’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
TV Guide Network renaming itself POP

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Peter Fonda’s ‘Easy Rider’ bike going to auction

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Entertainment calendar Sept. 19, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B4

Darrell Hammond takes over for Don Pardo on ‘SNL’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

The Roosevelt trail, from Maine to North Dakota

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
.

Sports

Vanden volleyball team remains undefeated in SCAC play

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B7

 
49ers’ Derek Carrier ready to step in at tight end

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Raiders seek ways to get Reece more involved

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Athletics out of top wild-card spot as Texas sweeps

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

Nashville new home for Athletics’ Triple-A team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
 
Falcons romp to 56-14 win over hapless Buccaneers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
2-time Grand Slam winner Li Na retires from tour

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Stacy Lewis, Mi Jung Hur share LPGA lead in Alabama

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
WR Simpson, in more trouble, released by Vikings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Royal & Ancient votes to admit female members

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
MLS says Chivas USA might not play in 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Tiger Woods says he might coach himself

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Police: Cardinals RB Dwyer head-butted wife

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Prep football capsules: Week 3

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

 
Signups for Friday, Sept. 19, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

Appeals court reconsidering Barry Bonds conviction

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

 
.

Business

Nissan’s small car excels at affordability

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1 | Gallery

 
Self-driving cars now need a permit in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2 | Gallery

Ellison gives up Oracle CEO role, becomes chairman

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
California bill increases Hollywood tax credits

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Fed keeps rates low, but brace for the inevitable

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Alibaba prices IPO at $68 per share

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11 | Gallery

Home Depot says malware affected 56M payment cards

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Applications for US jobless benefits fall sharply

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Apple locks itself out of devices with passwords

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Alibaba’s plan: Today, China. Tomorrow, the world.

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Chevron meets new, voluntary shale drilling rules

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
.

Obituaries

Margaret King

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Mae Frances Jones

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9