Thursday, February 26, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Extreme measures are necessary sometimes

borchert column sig

By
From page A2 | February 27, 2014 |

One of my least favorite things to do as a parent is to discipline my kids. I want us to get along all the time. I don’t want any screaming in my house, no crying, no talking back. I just want them to do what we ask them to do and have peace every day.

Since I have little girls who are extremely strong-willed and have fiery personalities, good behavior is not going to happen every day. As much as we challenge them to be great kids, my kids challenge me every day to be a great mommy.

Disciplining in our house started out as simple timeouts when my kids were young. Go to your room and take a break, we said. A couple of minutes later, when the kids are quiet, they can come down and we start fresh. Everyone wearing a smile.

As I get older, my patience and tolerance for tantrums and talking back is wearing thin. I go to drastic measures to discipline and after I punish my kids, I walk away laughing at myself because what I’ve just done doesn’t make sense.

It’s hard to take stuff away from my girls because they have so much “stuff” in their rooms – stuffed animals, toys, books. You name it. You take away a handful of stuff and it’s no big deal, because there’s more in there for them to play with.

The longer they go misbehaving, the more trips I make from their room to my room with a handful of their “stuff.” By the time they finally get settled down, I walk into my room and I have “stuff” all over my room. I’ve got a nice collection of stuffed animals, toys and books.

Then I get so desperate that I start taking away items they need every day – their backpacks for school, their shoes, their jackets. Heck, I’ve even taken away their blankets (don’t worry, they have plenty to keep them warm at night).

Of course, they get the essentials back the next day, but not Teddy. He stays in my room.

Last weekend, my 4-year-old cut her hair with her sister’s scissors. I again went to extremes and took away scissors from both girls (they aren’t allowed to use them now unless they are being supervised). My youngest daughter was obviously ashamed at being caught. She knew she messed up. I didn’t have to say too much. My extreme disciplinary action that night? She’s not allowed to play upstairs without supervision – ever. Yes, I told her ever.

This move hurts me more than it hurts her. My kids are independent and need their alone time . . . and so do their parents. But I need to be able to trust my kids. They need to know and understand that there are consequences to their actions. I can’t have them cutting hair – no matter whose hair it is – and whatever else they think needs to be cut around the house.

As much as I hate disciplining my kids, it has to be done. No matter how ridiculous and extreme it may seem at the time.

Angela Borchert is a freelance writer who lives in Vacaville. Reach her at [email protected].

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 6 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Skeptic ScroogeFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:15 am

    I cut mine when I was 4. As punishment, my parents never ever allowed me another slush puppy on Sunday after church. Although I never cut my own hair again, the real lesson I learned is how important it is to lie to my parents to stay out of trouble.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Teach5thFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:02 am

    I love this article as it applies not only to my life as a mom, but also as my role as a teacher. As a teacher this year I've taken away baggies of those stretchy bracelet-making things, taken away recesses, had kids stay after school, etc. as forms of "punishment. But, then, I miss having a 1/2 hour of solitude/prep time at lunchtime; or, if the kids are outside, I have to make sure they're not playing while sitting on the bench; etc. I guess it's the price we pay for trying to raise/teach kids.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • MichelleFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:13 am

    Cutting hair at 4 must run in the family. Remember my preschool pictures with the uneven bangs? :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • CD BrooksFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:53 am

    It's always refreshing and appreciated to see parents actually being parents! We don't do them any favors when we allow inappropriate behavior. But we still need to let them be kids. Good stuff!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • LoveFebruary 27, 2014 - 9:21 am

    Oh lowdy! I am going through the SAME thing with my 4 year old daughter.. she too is fierce, strong willed and opinionated. Sometimes it SUCKS to hear her tell me she doesn't like me when I enforce rules but it is what it is. I can only imagine what her attitude would be like as a teenager if we didn't nip it in the bud now.. Its tough work raising little ladies but they are worth every bit of it :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Kene WinstonFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:56 pm

    don't take this out of contence. it should be allowed and not punished by the law.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
Searchers find infant’s body

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1, 3 Comments

 
Children tackle history during Wax Museum project

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Suisun Walmart to open March 25

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A1, 11 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Pedestrians hit by cars in 2 separate incidents

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3, 8 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Legislative committee votes for earthquake relief bill

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

 
Vacaville police clear homeless from area

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4, 4 Comments

State to close part of I-80 to continue project

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

 
 
NorthBay Healthcare Group expands lease

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

Fairfield police log: Feb. 24, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

 
Suisun City police log: Feb. 24, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

.

US / World

Family celebrating one-month birthdays of identical triplets

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Massive I-95 pileup leaves 17 injured in snowy Maine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

CEO has plan for crime prediction system

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Dog owner lawsuit alleges food made his pups sick

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

What happens, and not, in Homeland Security shutdown

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Pet shop owner found guilty of arson

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Harris only Dem left after Villaraigosa exits campaign

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Regulators eyeing tighter cybersecurity requirements

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Technology might have prevented deaths in train crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Speaker has plan to help fund affordable housing

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Afghanistan avalanche destroys homes, kills 124

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Polanski appears in court to face extradition

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Hungarian village available for rent

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Journalists arrested in Paris for drone flights

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
.

Opinion

Editorial Cartoon: Feb. 26, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Chinese economy may be stalling – and that’s OK

By William Pesek | From Page: A7

 
Time to put down the joystick

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A7

 
.

Living

Today in History: Feb. 26, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Feb. 26, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Feb. 26, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
.

Entertainment

Gucci designer makes debut during Milan Fashion Week

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
People: Lindsay Lohan

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

Kings grind out 102-90 win over Grizzlies in Sacramento

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
 
Bay Area’s Semien in the mix for A’s shortstop job

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Clark says players against radical speed-up changes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
McIlroy looking to keep momentum to the Masters

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
IOC head quizzed about water shortages in Rio, golf course

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Donald Grimm

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Thomas Browning

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Gabriel T. Traub

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Maria Kraszewski

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Felipe Mata Mislang

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9