Thursday, July 31, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Extreme measures are necessary sometimes

borchert column sig

By
From page A2 | February 27, 2014 |

One of my least favorite things to do as a parent is to discipline my kids. I want us to get along all the time. I don’t want any screaming in my house, no crying, no talking back. I just want them to do what we ask them to do and have peace every day.

Since I have little girls who are extremely strong-willed and have fiery personalities, good behavior is not going to happen every day. As much as we challenge them to be great kids, my kids challenge me every day to be a great mommy.

Disciplining in our house started out as simple timeouts when my kids were young. Go to your room and take a break, we said. A couple of minutes later, when the kids are quiet, they can come down and we start fresh. Everyone wearing a smile.

As I get older, my patience and tolerance for tantrums and talking back is wearing thin. I go to drastic measures to discipline and after I punish my kids, I walk away laughing at myself because what I’ve just done doesn’t make sense.

It’s hard to take stuff away from my girls because they have so much “stuff” in their rooms – stuffed animals, toys, books. You name it. You take away a handful of stuff and it’s no big deal, because there’s more in there for them to play with.

The longer they go misbehaving, the more trips I make from their room to my room with a handful of their “stuff.” By the time they finally get settled down, I walk into my room and I have “stuff” all over my room. I’ve got a nice collection of stuffed animals, toys and books.

Then I get so desperate that I start taking away items they need every day – their backpacks for school, their shoes, their jackets. Heck, I’ve even taken away their blankets (don’t worry, they have plenty to keep them warm at night).

Of course, they get the essentials back the next day, but not Teddy. He stays in my room.

Last weekend, my 4-year-old cut her hair with her sister’s scissors. I again went to extremes and took away scissors from both girls (they aren’t allowed to use them now unless they are being supervised). My youngest daughter was obviously ashamed at being caught. She knew she messed up. I didn’t have to say too much. My extreme disciplinary action that night? She’s not allowed to play upstairs without supervision – ever. Yes, I told her ever.

This move hurts me more than it hurts her. My kids are independent and need their alone time . . . and so do their parents. But I need to be able to trust my kids. They need to know and understand that there are consequences to their actions. I can’t have them cutting hair – no matter whose hair it is – and whatever else they think needs to be cut around the house.

As much as I hate disciplining my kids, it has to be done. No matter how ridiculous and extreme it may seem at the time.

Angela Borchert is a freelance writer who lives in Vacaville. Reach her at angela.borchert@yahoo.com.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 6 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Skeptic ScroogeFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:15 am

    I cut mine when I was 4. As punishment, my parents never ever allowed me another slush puppy on Sunday after church. Although I never cut my own hair again, the real lesson I learned is how important it is to lie to my parents to stay out of trouble.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Teach5thFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:02 am

    I love this article as it applies not only to my life as a mom, but also as my role as a teacher. As a teacher this year I've taken away baggies of those stretchy bracelet-making things, taken away recesses, had kids stay after school, etc. as forms of "punishment. But, then, I miss having a 1/2 hour of solitude/prep time at lunchtime; or, if the kids are outside, I have to make sure they're not playing while sitting on the bench; etc. I guess it's the price we pay for trying to raise/teach kids.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • MichelleFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:13 am

    Cutting hair at 4 must run in the family. Remember my preschool pictures with the uneven bangs? :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • CD BrooksFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:53 am

    It's always refreshing and appreciated to see parents actually being parents! We don't do them any favors when we allow inappropriate behavior. But we still need to let them be kids. Good stuff!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • LoveFebruary 27, 2014 - 9:21 am

    Oh lowdy! I am going through the SAME thing with my 4 year old daughter.. she too is fierce, strong willed and opinionated. Sometimes it SUCKS to hear her tell me she doesn't like me when I enforce rules but it is what it is. I can only imagine what her attitude would be like as a teenager if we didn't nip it in the bud now.. Its tough work raising little ladies but they are worth every bit of it :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Kene WinstonFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:56 pm

    don't take this out of contence. it should be allowed and not punished by the law.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

It’s ‘camping for 30′ at the Solano fair

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Cities dealing with state drought rules

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Muralist helps locals ready for some painted wall history

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Rejection makes us each stronger

By Angela Borchert | From Page: A2

 
Highway 12 crash sends 2 to hospital

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A3, 8 Comments | Gallery

 
Mall to host Ultimate Army Throw Down

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

 
Police release name of Vallejo homicide victim

By Glen Faison | From Page: A4, 4 Comments | Gallery

 
Fairfield police log: July 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: July 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
.

US / World

Peace Corps evacuates over Ebola as 2 isolated

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Pipe break that flooded UCLA dumps 20M gallons

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Dissent quieted with most Israelis behind Gaza war

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Deadly Israeli strikes hit UN school, market area

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

Obama takes tougher line against Gaza casualties

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments

 
AP Analysis: Amid war, endgames in Gaza emerge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

2 women survive ordeal along Indiana rail bridge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Ex-IRS official called conservatives ‘crazies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 3 Comments

Suing Obama: GOP-led House gives the go-ahead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 6 Comments

 
Congress cooperates – and fights – as recess nears

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

Powell maybe not told early about CIA techniques

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Crews work to keep Yosemite fire from sequoias

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

Sanctions will damage Russia if not lifted quickly

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Clashes prevent experts from reaching bodies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

 
Cruz gets border crisis wrong

By Ruben Navarrette | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

Editorial Cartoons: July 31, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
What happened to the US?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 13 Comments

Am I blaming victims?

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A11, 7 Comments

 
.

Living

Today in History for July 31, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: July 31, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes for July 31, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
I want to change my daughters last name to my maiden name

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Commentary: ‘Orphan Black,’ Emmy snubs and questions of identity

By Los Angeles Times | From Page: A6 | Gallery

Allison Williams headed skyward as NBC’s Peter Pan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Contract dispute delays ‘Big Bang’ production

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

.

Sports

SF benefits from Pirates’ blunder, ends skid at 6

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Complete game shutout lifts Expos to State Tournament win

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Hammel fails again for Athletics in loss to Astros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Ray Guy’s long wait for Hall of Fame comes to end

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Raiders owner confirms talks with San Antonio

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Lloyd’s film watching impresses 49ers teammates

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Stanford star Ty Montgomery rehabbing shoulder

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Greg Ives to crew chief Earnhardt in 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Steelers to retire Hall of Famer Greene’s No. 75

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Fairfield-Suisun 6U Bobby Sox win titles

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B4

Usain Bolt in controversy at Commonwealth Games

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Indians trade pitcher Masterson to Cardinals

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Riley speaks out, insists Heat will be competitive

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Nadal out of 2 tournaments because of right wrist

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Pipe break that flooded UCLA dumps 20M gallons

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

US judge slaps $1.3B fine on Bank of America

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5, 1 Comment

 
A more vigorous US economy appears to be emerging

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

Overhaul approved for troubled California refinery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Judge says Crystal CEO should testify in lawsuit

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7, 1 Comment

.

Obituaries

Clifford C. Hemler

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Louise Scholten

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Ronald Witt Escue Sr.

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Scott Allen Shaver

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9