Monday, May 4, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Extreme measures are necessary sometimes

borchert column sig

By
From page A2 | February 27, 2014 |

One of my least favorite things to do as a parent is to discipline my kids. I want us to get along all the time. I don’t want any screaming in my house, no crying, no talking back. I just want them to do what we ask them to do and have peace every day.

Since I have little girls who are extremely strong-willed and have fiery personalities, good behavior is not going to happen every day. As much as we challenge them to be great kids, my kids challenge me every day to be a great mommy.

Disciplining in our house started out as simple timeouts when my kids were young. Go to your room and take a break, we said. A couple of minutes later, when the kids are quiet, they can come down and we start fresh. Everyone wearing a smile.

As I get older, my patience and tolerance for tantrums and talking back is wearing thin. I go to drastic measures to discipline and after I punish my kids, I walk away laughing at myself because what I’ve just done doesn’t make sense.

It’s hard to take stuff away from my girls because they have so much “stuff” in their rooms – stuffed animals, toys, books. You name it. You take away a handful of stuff and it’s no big deal, because there’s more in there for them to play with.

The longer they go misbehaving, the more trips I make from their room to my room with a handful of their “stuff.” By the time they finally get settled down, I walk into my room and I have “stuff” all over my room. I’ve got a nice collection of stuffed animals, toys and books.

Then I get so desperate that I start taking away items they need every day – their backpacks for school, their shoes, their jackets. Heck, I’ve even taken away their blankets (don’t worry, they have plenty to keep them warm at night).

Of course, they get the essentials back the next day, but not Teddy. He stays in my room.

Last weekend, my 4-year-old cut her hair with her sister’s scissors. I again went to extremes and took away scissors from both girls (they aren’t allowed to use them now unless they are being supervised). My youngest daughter was obviously ashamed at being caught. She knew she messed up. I didn’t have to say too much. My extreme disciplinary action that night? She’s not allowed to play upstairs without supervision – ever. Yes, I told her ever.

This move hurts me more than it hurts her. My kids are independent and need their alone time . . . and so do their parents. But I need to be able to trust my kids. They need to know and understand that there are consequences to their actions. I can’t have them cutting hair – no matter whose hair it is – and whatever else they think needs to be cut around the house.

As much as I hate disciplining my kids, it has to be done. No matter how ridiculous and extreme it may seem at the time.

Angela Borchert is a freelance writer who lives in Vacaville. Reach her at [email protected].

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 6 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Skeptic ScroogeFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:15 am

    I cut mine when I was 4. As punishment, my parents never ever allowed me another slush puppy on Sunday after church. Although I never cut my own hair again, the real lesson I learned is how important it is to lie to my parents to stay out of trouble.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Teach5thFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:02 am

    I love this article as it applies not only to my life as a mom, but also as my role as a teacher. As a teacher this year I've taken away baggies of those stretchy bracelet-making things, taken away recesses, had kids stay after school, etc. as forms of "punishment. But, then, I miss having a 1/2 hour of solitude/prep time at lunchtime; or, if the kids are outside, I have to make sure they're not playing while sitting on the bench; etc. I guess it's the price we pay for trying to raise/teach kids.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • MichelleFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:13 am

    Cutting hair at 4 must run in the family. Remember my preschool pictures with the uneven bangs? :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • CD BrooksFebruary 27, 2014 - 7:53 am

    It's always refreshing and appreciated to see parents actually being parents! We don't do them any favors when we allow inappropriate behavior. But we still need to let them be kids. Good stuff!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • LoveFebruary 27, 2014 - 9:21 am

    Oh lowdy! I am going through the SAME thing with my 4 year old daughter.. she too is fierce, strong willed and opinionated. Sometimes it SUCKS to hear her tell me she doesn't like me when I enforce rules but it is what it is. I can only imagine what her attitude would be like as a teenager if we didn't nip it in the bud now.. Its tough work raising little ladies but they are worth every bit of it :)

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Kene WinstonFebruary 27, 2014 - 1:56 pm

    don't take this out of contence. it should be allowed and not punished by the law.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

New Torah being written for Solano County Jews

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Tickets available for Dixon May Fair, sneak peek

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Local governments set to meet

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
Napa Valley College site of Girls on the Run event

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Putah Creek Council plans bat outing

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
 
Vacaville Museum celebrates historic pioneer girl

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Chambers of commerce plan Cinco de Mayo event

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
 
Fairfield police log: May 2, 2015

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

 
Suisun City police log: May 2, 2015

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

Suisun City police log: May 1, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Fairfield police log: May 1, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Biz Buzz: First Northern Bank announces earnings

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A10

 
Weather for Monday, May 4, 2015

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B10

Biz Buzz: Sleep Train continues clothing drive

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

 
Biz Buzz: Solano College site of business expo

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A10

 
.

US / World

 
Google embeds engineers as professors

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Oyez! Town crier at royal baby birth captures attention

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Quakes hit California, but no damage or injuries reported

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Slain trooper’s parents say they forgive suspected ambusher

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Baltimore mayor lifts curfew 6 days after riots

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
Italy: At least 10 migrants found dead in sea off Libya

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Arab coalition ‘reconnaissance’ troops land in Yemen

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Nepal shuts airport to big jets; more bodies found

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
With rescue near, Boko Haram stoned Nigerian girls to death

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Survey: States spent heavily to clear winter snow and ice

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
 
.

Living

Catholics honor mother of church with special event

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Today in history: Monday, May 4, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

Community Calendar: May 4, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Returning home puts far-flung choices in relief

By Sharon Randall | From Page: B5

Family member has still not paid for commissioned artwork

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

 
Horoscope: May 4, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

.

Entertainment

TVGrid May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6, 1 Comment

 
Wanted by the US, Roman Polanski gets film award in Poland

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Ashes of ballerina Plisetskaya to be spread over Russia

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
New project in US South promotes music “triangle”

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

‘Avengers’ sequel is second biggest US opener of all time

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
TVGrid May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A10

.

Sports

 
AP Source: Warriors star Stephen Curry to be named NBA MVP

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Dale Earnhardt Jr. cruises to 1st Talladega win since 2004

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
McIlroy top of the world at Match Play Championship

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Warriors roll past Grizzlies 101-86 in Game 1 of West semis

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
JC softball: Solano eliminated after late rally comes up short

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

LeBron, Cavs ready to take on raging Bulls

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Paul questionable as Clippers and Rockets begin series

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

James Taylor debuts new song about Fenway, at Fenway

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Westbrook, Valiante win IMSA Tudor race at Monterey

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Inbee Park wins North Texas Shootout for 2nd time

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Ian Woosnam wins Champions Tour’s Insperity Invitational

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Royals’ Lorenzo Cain drops appeal, begins serving suspension

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Unusually wild Gray, Vogt HRs carry A’s past Rangers 7-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Texas the front line on high school ECG debate

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Giants beat Angels 5-0 behind Lincecum for 3-game sweep

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Mayweather takes his $100 million check and runs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Vonn says relationship with Woods is over

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

5-year drought ends as Chelsea is champion of England again

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Montoya fastest on opening day of Indy tests

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

This date in sports history for May 4

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Beal leads well-rested Wizards past Hawks 104-98 in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

 
.

Business

 
.

Obituaries

Arthur Martin

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Ora May Bray

By Daily Republic | From Page: A4

Lois G. Johnston (Leib) (Bayard)

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Baldo May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Blondie May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Peanuts May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Pickles May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Frank and Ernest May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Dilbert May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Wizard of Id May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Rose is Rose May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Zits May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
For Better or Worse May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

B.C. May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Sally Forth May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Get Fuzzy May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Garfield May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Word Sleuth May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Bridge May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Cryptoquote May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Crossword May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Sudoku May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Baldo May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Wizard of Id May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Beetle Bailey May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Baby Blues May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Pickles May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

For Better or Worse May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Get Fuzzy May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Dilbert May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Rose is Rose May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Zits May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Garfield May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

B.C. May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Peanuts May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Sally Forth May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Frank and Ernest May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Blondie May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Word Sleuth May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Crossword May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Sudoku May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Cryptoquote May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Bridge May 4

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7