Election 2012: And the winner is . . .

As of this morning, the voting results of our presidential election should be known (providing there wasn’t another “chad” mishap in Florida . . . or Ohio . . . or New York . . . etc.).

As I’m writing this, I do not know the outcome, but I know that one political party will be filled with jubilation, while the other party will be sad and angry.

The two political parties have become much more polarized in recent years. If you ever want proof of this, I suggest you go into the Daily Republic website and check out the comments on any one of Mike Kirchubel’s columns. It really gets hot and heavy at times.

But why do we get like that? Why do we allow politics to make us so crazy? Fundamentally, we’re arguing about ideals, laws, rights and taxes. But the bottom line is that we’re arguing about politicians.

Why? I mean, when you get right down to it, once you get above local government, they’re all a bunch of idiots, regardless of their political affiliation. All you have to do is listen to them. They’re dummies and we elect them.

I’m reminded of the story about how, when Marie Antoinette was told that the peasants were starving and had run out of bread, she famously stated, “Then let them eat cake.” Did she really say that?

Was this politico really that out of touch or was it simply antiroyal propaganda? It’s difficult to say, as there was no media or Internet to verify it, but when the spoiled Austrian royal lost her head to the guillotine, it became a moot point.

But would current-day media and the lightning-fast Internet have verified whether she actually said that or not? Hardly.

It was only four years ago that certain media outlets reported that Gov. Sarah Palin had said, “You can see Russia from my house.” It was hilarious and we all mocked and ridiculed the silly politician for making such an absurd statement.

Here’s the problem: She didn’t really say that. What she really said was, “You can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island.” Unfortunately, certain media sites chose to portray her as a typical political buffoon, and the false quote stuck.

Or when (then) House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said, “We have to pass the (health care) bill so you can find out what is in it.” Oh, wait . . . she actually said that. Nevermind.

To prove that they’re all imbeciles, I’ve chosen to go straight to the horse’s mouth. Below, you will find actual quotes from a few of our recent presidents and vice presidents. Naturally, if I included every single stupid quote, it would fill up 100 Sunday papers, so I just chose some of my favorites.

• “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.” – Dan Quayle

• “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.” – Ronald Reagan

• “The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, saving and inefficiencies to our health care system.” – Barack Obama (during a discussion with health care providers, July 20, 2009)

• “For seven and a half years, I’ve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex . . . uh . . . setbacks.” – George H. Bush in 1988

• “When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.” – Bill Clinton

• “There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on . . . shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.” – George W. Bush

• “I’ve now been in 57 states – I think one left to go.” — Barack Obama

• “I’ve looked on many women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me.” —Jimmy Carter (Playboy interview, 1976)

• “When the president does it that means it’s not illegal.” — Richard Nixon (in a 1977 interview with David Frost)

• “I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.” – Dan Quayle

• “During my service in the United States Congress I took the initiative in creating the Internet.” — Al Gore

• “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” — George W. Bush

Send me some of your favorite quotes, but let’s limit it to just presidents. Let’s pray that things get better in this country.

You can contact C.W. Plunkett at cwplunkett33@yahoo.com.