Tuesday, September 23, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Would you tell us about the alternatives to Alcoholics Anonymous?

Dear Annie: I enjoy reading your column and agree with most of your advice, including your recommendations when it comes to handling alcohol addictions and binge drinking.

I do not work in this field, but I’ve seen alternatives to AA that may be more palatable to some who are seeking assistance. Would you print this information, too? — Albany N.Y.

Dear Albany: We actually have printed alternatives to AA in the past and are happy to do so again. Whatever helps. We recognize that some people are not comfortable with 12-step programs or those mentioning a “higher power,” and others are searching for something more specifically tailored to their needs. So here are a few suggestions:

Moderation Management (moderation.org); Hams (Harm Reduction, Abstinence and Moderation Support) at hamsnetwork.org; Smart Recovery (Self-Management and Recovery Training) at smartrecovery.org; Rational Recovery (rational.org); Sober Recovery (soberrecovery.com); SOS (Secular Organizations for Sobriety) at sossobriety.org; LifeRing (lifering.org); Women for Sobriety (womenforsobriety.org).

We realize this list doesn’t include everything, so readers can find more resources through the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (samhsa.gov) at 800-662-HELP (800-662-4357).

Dear Annie: We are friends with “George and Helen,” a couple with whom my husband went to college 40 years ago. We used to see them several times a year, but we now winter with them in the same complex and see them almost daily. We love the husband, and I have developed a close relationship with his wife.

However, his wife seems to be a rather insecure person, as evidenced by her comments regarding her weight and the fact that we purchased our condo and they rent theirs. I believe this is the reason she never compliments us on anything we buy unless she had a part in picking it out.

I ignore her comments about the way things “should” look (when clearly I did the opposite) and her little remarks that could be construed as digs. She never has a positive comment unless pushed.

I want to keep the relationship on good terms, but her attitude is wearing me down. Is it wise to have an honest conversation about this? I am not very good with confrontation or diplomacy, and it would be devastating if I damaged this friendship. — Undernourished Friend

Dear Friend: Since you know her criticisms are due to insecurities, please be kind. These comments (or lack thereof) do not reflect on you or your taste, and there is no harm in continuing to ignore them. Friends don’t have to like the same things. However, if you need more aesthetic support from her, try a lighthearted approach. When she insults your new dress, simply smile and say, “Hortense, I know it kills you to give me a compliment, but I love you anyway.”

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Blue-Collar Grandparents,” who are concerned about their grandchildren’s trichotillomania. I am 62 and have had trich my entire life. It never goes away. We just learn how to hide it. It is not something one can control any more than we can control how tall we are. You would not berate your grandchild for his height.

Help them deal with the trich with hats and concealing hairstyles. Please do not ever in any way blame your grandchildren or their parents for this malady. Accept them the way they are. — One of Many

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

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Weather for Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2014

By Daily Republic staff | From Page:

Police investigate deadly Vallejo shooting

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5

 
 
 
Police report missing man was found

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5

 
Support group to host domestic violence event

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A5

 
Lake Berryessa hike set in October

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A5

 
Work scheduled for Rio Vista Bridge

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A5

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US / World

California wildfire crews brace for weather shift

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Reserves narrowing for California water wholesaler

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LA County sheriff’s deputies testing body cameras

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Bear suspected to have killed New Jersey hiker

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Poll: Support for gay marriage may be leveling off

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Islamic State militants kill 40 Iraqi troops

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Sierra Leone, Liberia brace for new Ebola cases

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Islamist group kidnaps Frenchman in Algeria

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Pennsylvania governor confident ambush suspect will be caught

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Focus on UVa employee in student’s disappearance

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State police: 3 missing Afghan soldiers in custody

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Prosecutor: 800 rounds found in intruder case

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Islamic State offensive poses problems for Turkey

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Study links changing winds to warming in Pacific

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Crews work to clear debris from Shasta mudslide

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Opinion

Still searching for the bottom in Iraq

By John M. Crisp | From Page:

 
Academia needs to act to protect college women

By Dan K. Thomasson | From Page:

Question of the week: Will the drought end this year?

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
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Living

Today in History: Sept. 23, 2014

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My daughter doesn’t like my cruise plans, but she ignored me first

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page:

Community Calendar: Sept. 23, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page:

 
Horoscopes: Sept. 23, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B7

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Entertainment

Kris Jenner files to divorce Bruce Jenner

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Alaska TV reporter quits on air to promote pot

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Shonda Rhimes lays claim to Thursday nights on ABC

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Giuliani to help fight Noriega’s video game suit

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‘The Lion King’ earns record box office

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Eric Lynch, Howard Stern’s diminutive foil, dies

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TVGrid Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
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Sports

MNF: Bears hold on to beat Jets 27-19

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Jeff Samardzija pitches A’s past Angels 8-4

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Nebraska’s Abdullah: Jameis Winston must grow up

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Raiders have to settle for moral victory

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Home of 49ers lineman Ray McDonald burglarized

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Undisciplined play sends 49ers to 1-2 start

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Kicking game: It is called football, after all

By Barry Wilner | From Page:

 
US Soccer stands by Solo decision

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FIFA ethics judge hesitates on World Cup

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Braves fire GM Frank Wren after missing playoffs

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Royals beat Indians 2-0, gain on Tigers

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Bettman says NHL proactive about off-ice conduct

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Silver: NBA will review domestic violence policies

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Concern over McIlroy, McDowell more about results

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NFL vetting process: There are no sure things

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Owner: ‘No misinformation’ by Ravens on Rice

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This date in sports history for Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2014

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Kent creates scholarship for Cal women’s athletics

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Business

Treasury to unveil steps to curb tax inversions

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Tesco suspends execs over inflated profit report

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GM expert says 21 deaths eligible for compensation

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Apple: 10 million iPhone 6 and 6 Plus sold

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US existing home sales fall in August

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Investors fret Yahoo’s future, stock dips

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Businesses and investors pressing for green policy

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Obituaries

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Comics

Garfield Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Baldo Sept 23

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Dilbert Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Baby Blues Sept 23

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Cryptoquote Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Beetle Bailey Sept 23

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Zits Sept 23

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Crossword Sept 23

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Bridge Sept 23

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Word Sleuth Sept 23

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Pickles Sept 23

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Frank and Ernest Sept 23

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For Better or Worse Sept 23

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Rose is Rose Sept 23

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Sally Forth Sept 23

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Get Fuzzy Sept 23

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Sudoku Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
B.C. Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Wizard of Id Sept 23

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Blondie Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Peanuts Sept 23

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6