Tuesday, May 5, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

What should I do about my hypochondriac mother-in-law

Dear Annie: My husband’s parents are in their mid-70s. They are both in good health and financially stable. The problem is, my mother-in-law has a bit of hypochondria along with some anxiety. She has self-diagnosed herself with many “syndromes” (such as fibromyalgia, restless leg, irritable bowel), and she refuses to exercise. Her syndromes, which are exacerbated by her anxiety, keep her from getting out of the house, unless it involves an activity that she truly enjoys, like shopping.

My in-laws don’t have a wide social circle, and Mom refuses to try to make new friends. You can’t have a conversation with her without the topic turning to her various maladies. I believe this is causing her some depression. Our town has many great programs for seniors, and I know both of my in-laws would benefit from them. I have repeatedly suggested to my mother-in-law that she get outside more, get some exercise, volunteer, take classes at the senior center, etc., but she refuses.

Annie, I understand that Mom may have some physical ailments, but being home all day and inactive surely can’t be making her better. It’s so important to remain physically and mentally active, and it’s frustrating to see a wonderful couple, a wonderful woman, throw her “golden years” away. — Frustrated Daughter-in-Law

Dear Daughter-in-Law: Your heart is in the right place, but please don’t pressure your mother-in-law to take care of herself the way you would. While exercise would be great, it only works if she’s willing to do it. To some extent, she likes her various maladies and isn’t ready to get rid of them. The best you can do right now is suggest that she see her doctor to be properly tested, evaluated and treated. And if you find a program at the senior center that you think she would like, offer to pick her up and go with her.

Dear Annie: I’m in love with a girl who said she loved me, too. We dated for a while last summer, and we’re still best friends. But “Lucy” has another boyfriend now, and he is a good guy. We all get along, but I’m extremely jealous that he has her. I’m pretty sure he knows how I feel. I’m still heartbroken about the breakup. I think about it all the time.

I’m considering talking to Lucy to see whether there is any chance of us getting back together someday. Should I? — Lover Boy

Dear Lover Boy: Not unless you are absolutely certain that Lucy wants the same thing. Otherwise, you will only be hurt again. We assume the reasons for the original breakup still exist. Also, she has someone else in her life now, and it is not appropriate to make a play for his girl. If he is aware that you are still interested in Lucy, rest assured, she is, too. If she wanted to get back together, she would let you know. We recommend you spend a lot less time in her company so you can learn to get over her.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Rocky Mount, Va.,” about allowing dogs at funerals.

When my sister was in hospice for four months, we told the staff how her dog, “Abby,” was searching the house and waiting at the door of her home every day. The wonderful staff suggested we bring Abby in. The dog would check on my sister first, then greet everyone else and finally lie down on the floor beside my sister’s bed. She did this every day we brought her. Toward the very end, Abby seemed to know that her wonderful master was dying. Now, she is a happy well-adjusted companion to another sister.

If at all possible, I recommend people let pets be with their masters at the end. Instinct seems to ease their minds, and even though the animals grieve, they are no longer waiting for them at the door. — Getting Better

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

2 hurt in Fairfield freeway crash

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5, 13 Comments

 
Vacaville prison riot prompts lockdown

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A5, 6 Comments

 
Vacaville police announce training at outlet stores

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A5

 
Solano marks Mental Health Month during May

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

 
Western Railway Museum plans special events

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A2, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Comedies, dramas, documentaries hit screens this weekend

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A7

 
Caltrans announces work on Highway 160

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

Caltrans outlines work on Highway 29

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

 
 
 
 
.

US / World

 
Ex-Christie allies plead not guilty in bridge case

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Assembly approves ban on Redskins school team name

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
‘Exceptional’ NYPD officer dies from gunshot wound to head

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 2 Comments | Gallery

 
CalFire chief seeks to change discipline after scandal

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment | Gallery

California drought leaves 12 million trees dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 2 Comments

 
Study: Cutting carbon dioxide saves 3,500 US lives a year

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
GOP field grows: Longshots Fiorina, Carson launch their bids

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment | Gallery

Accused Texas gunman well-known to FBI before attack

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
Britain’s new princess can’t expect fairy-tale life

By The Associated Press | From Page:

A name for Britain’s new princess: Charlotte Elizabeth Diana

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
.

Opinion

Carson, Fiorina won’t change 2016 election

By Jonathan Bernstein | From Page: A8, 3 Comments

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: May 5, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Internment art to be displayed at California museum

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

Take the mad out of money with these tips for couples

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
North America’s tallest peak opens for climbers

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Huge SoCal waves lure surfers, crowds to beaches

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

.

Entertainment

Obama jokes about a future playing dominoes with Letterman

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
Boxing match pops up on phones as TV habits change

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

‘Star Trek’ actress Grace Lee Whitney dies at 85

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
‘Avengers’ sequel soars to $191.3M

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
The Muppets to team up with several YouTube stars

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
New McCullough book celebrates the Wright Brothers

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

Blues legend B.B. King resting at home in Las Vegas

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
TVGrid May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6, 1 Comment

 
.

Sports

Local Report: Baseball, tennis, swimming, football

By Daily Republic staff | From Page:

 
Cruz hits 14th HR, Hernandez pitches Mariners past Angels

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Bumgarner pitches Giants past Padres for fourth straight win

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

Griffin’s triple-double lifts Clippers over Rockets 117-101

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
Hunter backs Hughes with 3-run HR as Twins top A’s 8-7

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
Pacquiao could face disciplinary action for shoulder

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Brewers win in Counsell’s debut, 4-3 over Dodgers

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Rose, Gasol pace Bulls to 99-92 win over Cavs in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

Canada, US, earn 3rd straight wins at ice hockey worlds

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Murray wins BMW Open for 1st clay-court title

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

FIFA to study Israel-Palestinians dispute on election day

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Earnhardt back in victory lane and happier than ever

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
Rory McIlroy: Holding the top ranking, wearing the crown

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Warriors’ Stephen Curry voted NBA’s MVP over Harden, James

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment | Gallery

 
.

Business

 
China factory index shows fastest deterioration in a year

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Airlines bring in more money from bag, reservations fees

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
General Motors will invest $174 million in Kansas plant

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Greece to lobby EU, ECB for swift loan payout

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
AP source: Goldberg died after collapsing in gym

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment

Supreme Court will hear appeal over energy regulation

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Dow Chemical to trim about 3 pct of global workforce

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
US stocks gain, pushing market back to record levels

By The Associated Press | From Page:

US factory orders rise in March for first time in 8 months

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
Buffett again defends lending standards at Clayton Homes

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
McDonald’s challenge: Make it simpler, but add choices

By The Associated Press | From Page:

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Beetle Bailey May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
For Better or Worse May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Crossword May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
B.C. May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Get Fuzzy May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baldo May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Sudoku May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Bridge May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Peanuts May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Pickles May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Frank and Ernest May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Dilbert May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Wizard of Id May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Rose is Rose May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Cryptoquote May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Zits May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Word Sleuth May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Sally Forth May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Garfield May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Blondie May 5

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4