What love gives you
Most of us have had a bad relationship or two, maybe 22. It’s natural to crave companionship when you’re alone, but it’s also natural to be a little gun-shy if you’ve been in relationships that didn’t work out. If you are feeling reluctant to find love again, here are a few reasons why I believe it’s worth the effort.
- Love gives you energy. When you are with the right person, you feel like doing more not only for the person you love but also for yourself. You may find that you wake up earlier in the morning and have more energy to do things during the day. You’ll want to do more on many levels.
- Love makes you feel better. Even if you are in perfect health, having a loving person in your life makes it sweeter. If you are dealing with some physical issues, love can really give you what you need to get better. The knowledge that you are cared for makes you more comfortable and allows you to heal faster.
- Love enhances creativity. The greatest poems, music, and perhaps newspaper columns have been inspired by love. We want not only to express this depth of feeling we have but also to find different ways of doing it that may motivate others as well. When you express your love in creative ways, everyone wins and enjoys the results.
- Love makes you feel validated. When you are not feeling deeply connected with a significant other, it may feel like your life doesn’t count. That is totally untrue, but many people feel that way and it’s understandable, especially if you have been alone for a while. The validation that we receive from love is simple; love reminds us that we are not all alone and that we have a partner who believes in us and will be there for us.
- Love helps you grow. I believe that we grow more when we are in relationships than when we are alone. When you have a caring mate, who reflects back to you things that help you be the best person you can be, it is quite a gift. Just remember that any feedback you give your partner has to be delivered kindly.
- Love makes you want to do nice things. Love has a way of making you feel generous. When you feel good inside, you can’t avoid having a little overflow. Of course, you want to do lovely things for your other half, but you will find that you also want to give more to those in need, because you want to share that wonderful feeling.
If you don’t have love in your life right now, don’t be disheartened. It does not mean there is something wrong with you. It also may be a choice that works for you.
I also have known hundreds of people who thought they would never find love and have found it. You can be one of them; just don’t give up on it or on yourself.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, is the author of “The Happy Couple How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.” Email him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com. Follow his daily insights at www.twitter.com/BartonGoldsmith.