Wednesday, November 26, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

What can I do to get my brother to keep in touch?

Dear Annie: Several months ago, my husband and I moved to the Ozarks after falling in love with the area. We left behind a lot of dear friends and the life we had known for 25 years, but we are quite happy here.

The only sadness is my brother. He and his wife still live in the town we left. When I told him we were moving out of state, he said we shouldn’t because of our health issues. Yet when I had two major surgeries, he never once bothered to drive the five minutes to the hospital or come by my house afterward. He is retired and sits around the house watching TV. He never offered to help us pack for the move or assist in driving our truck, and I really wanted him to see our new home.

In the nine months we have lived here, my brother has not called one time. I phoned on his birthday and for holidays. Each time, he said he was “thinking of calling.” My husband and I have no children. My brother is my only family. He told me a few years ago that he is depressed. I am sure it began when his best friend died. He did get medication from his doctor, but it obviously did little good.

I am hurt that my big brother has written me off. We never got together much when we lived in the same town, but at least he would call once in a while and come by for coffee on occasion.

I have decided that the next move is up to him. My husband has been supportive, but even he does not know how badly I am hurting. He doesn’t have any siblings. I know of nothing that will make my brother call me, so I can only sit here and hope. Any suggestions? — Hurting Little Sis in Branson, Mo.

Dear Hurting: You are expecting a great deal from a brother who apparently suffers from depression and has never been particularly good at staying in touch. He may believe you abandoned him by moving away. In most sibling relationships, one sibling is better at maintaining ties. It’s your choice whether to continue to initiate contact, but we hope you will. We think he misses you, even though he doesn’t show it the way you’d like.

Dear Annie: “Concerned Old Man in West Hills” doesn’t understand why it is rude to tell his niece that she is fat. I have a different perspective. If the niece was a slim girl up to a point and then started to pack on the pounds, she may have been sexually abused. The weight is an unconscious attempt to appear less attractive.

I was abused when I was 7 years old. I gained weight and wore shape-blurring clothing because I wanted to be invisible. My family members labeled me lazy and said I didn’t care about my appearance. Every bite of food came with scrutiny from tablemates. I knew I was an embarrassment to my family.

If you see this sort of transformation in a close friend or family member, be kind. If you can do so in a gentle way, ask us why we seem to be sad and withdrawn. — Grandma Whose Inner Child Is Shattered

Dear Grandma: Thank you for mentioning this possibility. Many abused children, both male and female, react by “hiding” themselves in this way. We hope family and friends will pay attention to these changes and see what’s really going on.

Dear Annie: Your response to “Bob in North Carolina” hit the target dead center. It’s a shame that so many of the young women with whom I work do not see themselves in this light. They flaunt their sexuality instead of their know-how in the work environment. What a shame people still think like this. — Proud of Who I Am, Not What I Show

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
Groups distribute Thanksgiving food

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1, 3 Comments | Gallery

 
County fair proposal, budget topics of scrutiny

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 1 Comment | Gallery

Police: Vehicle burglaries not new for Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
 
Fairfield police offer free gun locks

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
Fairfield police investigate shooting

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Library schedules soap-making program

By Glen Faison | From Page: A4

 
Vacaville PD seeks VIPS program volunteers

By Glen Faison | From Page: A4

 
Science comes to libraries – for all to see

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5

 
Soroptimists seek award applicants

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5

 
Church’s holiday soiree on Vacaville calendar

By Glen Faison | From Page: A7

 
Nichols plans free family concert in Napa

By Glen Faison | From Page: A7

Suisun City police log: Nov. 22, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

 
Suisun City police log: Nov. 24, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Fairfield police log: Nov. 23, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

 
Fairfield police log: Nov. 22, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

Suisun City police log: Nov. 23, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9, 2 Comments

 
Weather for Nov. 26, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B12

.

US / World

 
Anger at Ferguson case based on emotion, evidence

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 11 Comments

Tough to make a case against police in shootings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 4 Comments

 
Protesters return to riot-scarred Ferguson streets

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 6 Comments

Heirloom ring flushed; sewer workers retrieve it

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Ohio family recovers missing Sasquatch statue

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Auction fetches $28K for 1st batch of new bourbon

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
In Seattle, tofu turkeys get Thanksgiving pardons

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

Los Angeles freeway sign unveiled with typo

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Agreement: LA jails to improve wheelchair access

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Window washer fights for life after 11-story fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Cosby philanthropy shadowed by sexual allegations

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Oakland police arrest more than 40 protesters

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 2 Comments

 
Lawmakers target Golden Gate Bridge sidewalk fee

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

Arkansas, Mississippi gay marriage bans overturned

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

 
Calorie count to appear with many prepared foods

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

WWII Museum opening new pavilion in New Orleans

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Police: Students ran high school prostitution ring

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

Wet basements in Buffalo as flooding fears ease

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Soldiers to spend Thanksgiving in Ebola isolation

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

2 teen female bombers kill more than 40 in Nigeria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
8 shoes of Holocaust victims stolen in Poland

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Activists: Syrian strikes kill 60 in IS-held city

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
AP sources: Top candidate for defense job bows out

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11, 2 Comments

Official: Afghan president orders military review

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Nov. 26, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Nov. 26, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Community Calendar: Nov. 25, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Horoscope for Nov. 26, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

The man I’m seeing makes no effort to get to know my kids

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B5

 
A do-ahead cornmeal biscuit to sop up your gravy

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Fresh take on an herb-roasted Thanksgiving turkey

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Turn turkey leftovers into a healthy dinner salad

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
‘Birdman’ leads Spirit Awards nominations

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

.

Sports

Vacaville Christian wins 3-0, advances to state quarterfinals

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Curry powers Warriors past Heat 114-97

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

49ers rookies shine in big roles, out of necessity

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Cousins, Kings beat Pelicans 99-89

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Red Sox bring in Sandoval, Hanley Ramirez

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Messi sets European record with 74 goals

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Judge OKs Hernandez trial delay in 2012 killings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Kurt Busch wins delay of Delaware court hearing

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Giants third base coach Tim Flannery retires

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
AP source: Left-hander Jon Lester, Giants to meet

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Pats are unanimous No. 1 in AP Pro32 rankings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
NFL, union discuss personal conduct policy

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Bama, FSU, Oregon, Miss St keep playoff rankings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
.

Business

New iPhones push Apple’s market cap past $700B

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Twitter lets merchants offer deals to its users

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

US economy posts even stronger growth in Q3

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Thanksgiving travel woes? There’s an app for that

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

US home price gains slow for 10th straight month

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Barbie dethroned by Team Elsa

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Rain, snow could mess up Thanksgiving travel

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
.

Obituaries

Leslie “Esi” Gros

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Glenita Reyes McLaughliin

By Daily Republic | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5