Tuesday, September 2, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

We wanted some time alone with our newborn twins, but Mom got mad

By
February 04, 2014 |

Dear Annie: Last summer, I gave birth to twins who were several weeks early. Throughout the time they were in the hospital, we had family support.

My husband and I made the decision that for the first day home, we’d have no visitors. This enraged my mother. She felt we stole away her joy of being a grandma and that we were very rude. Since that day, I’ve received letters and emails stating just what she thinks of me. In fact, many family members have turned their backs on us due to the situation.

I’ve made attempts to fix things, but it only gets worse. This has been going on since August. What should I do? — Mom of Twins

Dear Mom: Your family is incredibly nervy to expect parents of newborn twins to want family members in their home the first day out of the hospital. While we trust you thanked them for their earlier support, once you were home, you needed time to adjust. You asked for one day, and they resented it.

Your mother sounds like the type who could undermine your authority as a parent, so hang tough. Tell her that you and your husband needed a day to recuperate and some quiet time as a family, and you hoped they would respect that. Add that they are welcome to visit, provided they can stop insulting you and creating a negative environment for the children. The rest is up to them.

Dear Annie: We are retired and consider ourselves to be hospitable. We maintain a guest bedroom, as well as two sofa beds for overnight guests. In addition, we host friends and families for meals, especially around the holidays.

My wife struggles with seasonal allergies, as well as an allergy to animal dander, and so we try to limit her exposure. She has undergone allergy shots and uses two prescription nasal sprays. She can tolerate short visits with pets if she has plenty of tissues.

Recently, we hosted overnight stays of our adult children and their families, as well as our siblings. We told them their pets were welcome, but the animals would have to sleep in the laundry room on the lower level. Unfortunately, these guests said they couldn’t sleep without having their pets next to their beds and insisted on bringing them to the upper floors.

It’s been two weeks since the last guests left, and my wife still has a cough from the build up of her pet allergies. We had to purchase a new blanket for one of the sofa beds because a guest dog slept on it. Every time we vacuum the carpet, it brings up the dander.

We want our family members to feel welcome, but how can we get them to comply with the boundaries we set? Do we have to pay for them to stay at a hotel or board their pets? — Help

Dear Help: No, but you need to be more assertive about enforcing your boundaries. Tell the family that you love having them, but your wife’s allergies make it impossible for the dogs to stay anywhere but the laundry room at night. If they cannot abide by that simple request, you will be happy to recommend nearby pet-friendly hotels and boarding kennels.

Dear Annie: I’d like to address your senior driving respondent from Salem, Mass: So you are the one driving too slowly with his foot on the brake You’re impeding the flow of traffic. Worse yet, if your foot is always on the brake, then your brake lights are always on. So how am I supposed to know when you’re actually stopping?

It is time for you to turn in your car keys. Not because you’re 93, but because you’re a bad driver. — Baton Rouge, La.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Labor Day not a holiday for everyone

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 5 Comments | Gallery

 
Labor Day breakfast introduces union-backed candidates

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 2 Comments | Gallery

Pool provides last dose of summer fun in the sun

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
SafeQuest schedules peer counseling training course

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5

 
Fairfield police log: Aug. 31, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Aug. 31, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Aug. 30, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Fairfield police log: Aug. 30, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

VP Biden says workers deserve ‘fair share’

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 8 Comments | Gallery

 
Obama: ‘Revving’ economy calls for higher wages

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 12 Comments | Gallery

Senegal monitors contacts of 1st Ebola patient

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
San Francisco to be 1st to test urban farming law

By The Associated Press | From Page:

GOP challenger tries novel tactics against Brown

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 2 Comments | Gallery

 
US eating habits improve a bit – except among poor

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 5 Comments | Gallery

 
No gray area: Beliefs shape views of Brown killing

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment | Gallery

Americans detained in North Korea call for US help

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

 
Iraqi prime minister pledges to root out militants

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment | Gallery

Poland’s PM: Ukraine’s war must be stopped now

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Pro-Russian rebels lower demands in peace talks

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 2 Comments | Gallery

US helicopter crashes in Gulf of Aden; all rescued

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Sept. 2, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page:

 
.

Entertainment

Inquiries begin into nude celebrity photo leaks

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 1 Comment | Gallery

 
‘Guardians’ tops Labor Day, summer box office

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11, 2 Comments

 
.

Sports

Kirk rallies to win the Deutsche Bank

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Rockies top Giants after losing end of suspended game

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Dunn homers in 1st at-bat as A’s top Mariners

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Right guard Boone passes physical, rejoins 49ers

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Raiders name rookie Derek Carr as starting QB

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Armijo beats Vanden 2-0 to claim All-City boys soccer title

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Armed with new deal, Chiefs’ Smith looks forward

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Column: Stewart’s Chase status doesn’t matter

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Raiders ink CB Dowling, 9 others to practice squad

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Serena Williams, Djokovic roll to US Open quarters

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Houston Astros fire manager Bo Porter

By The Associated Press | From Page:

Hamels, 3 Phillies relievers no-hit Braves

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
.

Business

Markets drift as Wall Street has day off

By The Associated Press | From Page:

 
Austerity debate flares as Europe recovery fades

By The Associated Press | From Page: | Gallery

Civil disobedience expected in fast-food pay fight

By The Associated Press | From Page: , 8 Comments | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Beetle Bailey Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Zits Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Wizard of Id Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Sally Forth Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Bridge Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Blondie Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Rose is Rose Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Get Fuzzy Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Sudoku Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
B.C. Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Baldo Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Frank and Ernest Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Crossword Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Dilbert Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

For Better or Worse Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Peanuts Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Cryptoquote Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Garfield Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Word Sleuth Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7