Wednesday, December 17, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

We celebrated our niece’s birthday, but my brother’s angry that we didn’t call

By
From page B5 | February 13, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My brother, “Jay,” and his wife have an adopted daughter, “Anna,” who is now 3 years old. We adore her.

Jay and I recently got into an argument. He said they were angry that we didn’t call Anna on her birthday. I was surprised by this, as we had already wished her a happy birthday in person, with a gift and a card at her party a few days prior to her actual birthday. When Jay and I were kids, we were always happy to receive a card and a gift from our aunts and uncles. We never expected them to call, as well.

In addition, Jay said that they were angry that my husband and I didn’t take time off of work to be at the courthouse to celebrate the “official” adoption six months after Anna was born. We told him at the time that we couldn’t take time off of work and would celebrate with them at their home, which we did. At that time, Jay said it was fine, but now, it apparently wasn’t good enough. When my husband and I adopted our oldest child, we never demanded that anyone take the day off of work to be at the courthouse, nor to be at the hospital when our younger kids were born.

Annie, we celebrated Anna’s adoption multiple times – right after her birth, at her baptism, when we gave them a baby shower and then at their home after the courthouse. I reminded Jay of these things and told him we love Anna and don’t like his implication that we don’t care. My brother used to be easygoing until he married his wife. Now they expect a parade every time Anna opens her eyes.

Are Jay’s expectations reasonable? Should we call Anna on her birthday even when we’ve already celebrated with her? They act as if the world revolves around them. — Can’t Keep Up

Dear Can’t: Attending Anna’s birthday party and giving her a gift was sufficient. It’s also lovely to call on the actual birthday, but it is not an obligation. The rest of Jay’s complaints are irrational and self-centered. We don’t recommend arguing with him. He won’t see things your way. Placate and ignore.

Dear Annie: Our daughter is getting married in July. We decided to give her a lump sum for the wedding, and she created a budget to handle all aspects of the event.

Unfortunately, she selected a wedding gown based on the price, and it does not flatter her figure. My wife and I would like to offer to purchase a more attractive gown, but we don’t know how to approach the subject. Any suggestions? — North Carolina

Dear North Carolina: Are you certain that your daughter selected this design solely because of the price? Your financial assistance might only serve to purchase an equally unflattering gown in a more expensive fabric. Keep in mind that alterations can work wonders, and Mom could enlist the help of the seamstress to ascertain whether your daughter is unhappy with her gown. If so, it’s perfectly fine to say you want her to have something closer to the dress of her dreams. Otherwise, please repeat the old saying that “all brides are beautiful.”

Dear Annie: This is for “Tired in Nebraska,” whose husband has sleep apnea and refuses to wear a CPAP.

I’m an orthodontist who has successfully fit many patients with a dental sleep appliance that is very comfortable to wear. Sleep centers do not always mention their availability, but it should not be difficult to find an orthodontist or general dentist who will fit her husband. These appliances are covered by insurance with a prescription from a physician and are the next best treatment to CPAP devices, which many people cannot tolerate. — Sympathetic Orthodontist

Dear Sympathetic: Many readers recommended a dental appliance that can help with apnea and is easier to wear. Thanks to all who suggested it.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Haynes, Travis district part company

By Glen Faison | From Page: A1, 16 Comments

 
Menorah on Main begins celebration of Hanukkah

By Glen Faison | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
Free new home heater warms Solano family

By Glen Faison | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

 
Optimist Club welcomes student essays

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

Police arrest 5 on DUI allegations

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 6 Comments

 
 
Crash blocks part of Air Base Parkway

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Police arrest 4 for suspected marijuana sales

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A5, 7 Comments

 
‘Hobbit’ story ends on big screen

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A7

 
Council delays decision on anti-smoking ordinance

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A8

 
Police arrest man caught driving stolen car

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A8

 
Fairfield police log: Dec. 14, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A12

 
Faifield police log: Dec. 12, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Dec. 14, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Dec. 12, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

 
.

US / World

Quotes from around the world on Pakistan attack

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
A look at the Pakistani Taliban militant group

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Taliban assault on Pakistan school leaves 141 dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 2 Comments

 
State retiree health care gap reaches $72 billion

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9, 4 Comments

Robin Williams tops 2014 list of Google searches

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
Ex-Marine wanted in 6 killings commits suicide

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 3 Comments

 
Gay vets can march in Boston St. Patrick’s parade

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 2 Comments

Cosby won’t be charged over molestation claim

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
End game: No immigration deal, just divisions

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

Jeb Bush to ‘actively explore’ run for president

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 4 Comments

 
Aussie leader: System failed to track siege gunman

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

Islamic State recruits broadly, not just fighters

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

 
Eight-day Jewish festival of Hanukkah begins

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

Filipino mayor expresses support for Guam statue

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

 
Employees arrested for baby theft in Guatemala

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

Israel arrests members of Jewish extremist group

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

 
Ireland plans May vote on legalizing gay marriage

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

Sydney siege victims lauded for courage, kindness

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

 
Horror over deadly Sydney siege turns to anger

By The Associated Press | From Page: A14

.

Opinion

 
LA looks to election shift to boost turnout

By Dan Walters | From Page: A11

What is Hanukkah’s significance?

By The Rev. Dan Molyneux | From Page: A11, 10 Comments

 
.

Living

Today in History: Dec. 17, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Dec. 17, 2014

By Glen Faison | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Dec. 17, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B6

 
My teenage daughter seems to be cutting me out of her life

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B6

A chocolatey rich coconut cream pie for Christmas

By Elizabeth Karmel | From Page: B7

 
Go Italian this Christmas with lobster manicotti

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Dressing up a simple hash for Christmas brunch

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
.

Entertainment

Letterman pulls curtain on holiday tradition

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A5

Green Day, Reed, Starr into rock hall

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Fixes planned for clinic that treated Joan Rivers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

.

Sports

Chris Borland’s rookie 49ers season likely over

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Some Raiders players want Sparano in 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Fairfield grad Bishop signs with 49ers

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Memphis stops Golden State’s 16-game win streak

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Sprint to end NASCAR sponsorship after 2016 season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Raiders place LB Sio Moore on IR

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Patriots regain top spot in AP Pro32 rankings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Rodriguez girls finally get win over Monte Vista

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

Panthers outlast Capitals in longest NHL shootout, 20 rounds

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
AP sources: NFL employees turn over phone, email records

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Bills deliver Lions pizza, wings for hospitality

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
1998 World Cup winner Thierry Henry retires

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

USOC decides to bid for 2024; city still undecided

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
College football playoff participants stack AP All-America team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Yankees GM Cashman: A-Rod now a full-time DH

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
.

Business

California home prices cool in November on sluggish sales

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
T-Mobile to let customers carry over unused data

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Apple wins class-action lawsuit over iPod prices

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Apple stops sales in Russia, citing unstable ruble

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Obama backs bill imposing new sanctions on Russia

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9, 5 Comments

 
Sony hackers reference 9/11 in new threats against theaters

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Russian ruble sinks sharply despite bank rate hike

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
.

Obituaries

Collie Joseph Blossom

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
Calvin B. Shin

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 3 Comments

James Nelson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
.

Comics

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6