Friday, November 28, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

We celebrated our niece’s birthday, but my brother’s angry that we didn’t call

By
From page B5 | February 13, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My brother, “Jay,” and his wife have an adopted daughter, “Anna,” who is now 3 years old. We adore her.

Jay and I recently got into an argument. He said they were angry that we didn’t call Anna on her birthday. I was surprised by this, as we had already wished her a happy birthday in person, with a gift and a card at her party a few days prior to her actual birthday. When Jay and I were kids, we were always happy to receive a card and a gift from our aunts and uncles. We never expected them to call, as well.

In addition, Jay said that they were angry that my husband and I didn’t take time off of work to be at the courthouse to celebrate the “official” adoption six months after Anna was born. We told him at the time that we couldn’t take time off of work and would celebrate with them at their home, which we did. At that time, Jay said it was fine, but now, it apparently wasn’t good enough. When my husband and I adopted our oldest child, we never demanded that anyone take the day off of work to be at the courthouse, nor to be at the hospital when our younger kids were born.

Annie, we celebrated Anna’s adoption multiple times – right after her birth, at her baptism, when we gave them a baby shower and then at their home after the courthouse. I reminded Jay of these things and told him we love Anna and don’t like his implication that we don’t care. My brother used to be easygoing until he married his wife. Now they expect a parade every time Anna opens her eyes.

Are Jay’s expectations reasonable? Should we call Anna on her birthday even when we’ve already celebrated with her? They act as if the world revolves around them. — Can’t Keep Up

Dear Can’t: Attending Anna’s birthday party and giving her a gift was sufficient. It’s also lovely to call on the actual birthday, but it is not an obligation. The rest of Jay’s complaints are irrational and self-centered. We don’t recommend arguing with him. He won’t see things your way. Placate and ignore.

Dear Annie: Our daughter is getting married in July. We decided to give her a lump sum for the wedding, and she created a budget to handle all aspects of the event.

Unfortunately, she selected a wedding gown based on the price, and it does not flatter her figure. My wife and I would like to offer to purchase a more attractive gown, but we don’t know how to approach the subject. Any suggestions? — North Carolina

Dear North Carolina: Are you certain that your daughter selected this design solely because of the price? Your financial assistance might only serve to purchase an equally unflattering gown in a more expensive fabric. Keep in mind that alterations can work wonders, and Mom could enlist the help of the seamstress to ascertain whether your daughter is unhappy with her gown. If so, it’s perfectly fine to say you want her to have something closer to the dress of her dreams. Otherwise, please repeat the old saying that “all brides are beautiful.”

Dear Annie: This is for “Tired in Nebraska,” whose husband has sleep apnea and refuses to wear a CPAP.

I’m an orthodontist who has successfully fit many patients with a dental sleep appliance that is very comfortable to wear. Sleep centers do not always mention their availability, but it should not be difficult to find an orthodontist or general dentist who will fit her husband. These appliances are covered by insurance with a prescription from a physician and are the next best treatment to CPAP devices, which many people cannot tolerate. — Sympathetic Orthodontist

Dear Sympathetic: Many readers recommended a dental appliance that can help with apnea and is easier to wear. Thanks to all who suggested it.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
Solano Turkey Trot draws 2,600 to college

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Giving thanks, ‘even in this broken world,’ on Thursday

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Early Black Friday shoppers take advantage of deals

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Il Fiorello schedules olive milling day

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Eagle Scout project adds floating docks at Rockville Park

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
.

US / World

‘Guardian angel,’ community join to give man home

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
US celebrates Thanksgiving with parades, turkey

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Tons of marijuana seized in Central California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Gorilla death prompts San Francisco Zoo changes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Health agents still unpaid after plan’s rollout

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
California Burger King employee finds $100,000

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

At 1 month, US Ebola monitors finding no cases

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Families asked to host visitors for pope’s US trip

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Researchers discover ‘pre-cancers’ in blood

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
35 arrested in Oakland after protest march

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

A glance at Ferguson: Then, now and the future

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
For some, location of Brown’s hands irrelevant

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Ferguson gives thanks after a quiet night

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Colorado mastodon bones show ancient warmer Earth

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Queen of crime writing PD James dies aged 94

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Ebola aid dogged by coordination lags in Guinea

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Taliban attack rocks upscale Kabul district

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Small quake rattles California wine country

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

 
What it costs to fight the Islamic State

By Walter Pincus | From Page: A11

 
Harvard admissions, then and now

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11

.

Living

Today in History: Nov. 28, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Nov. 28, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Movies just another course on Thanksgiving

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Poor health is no excuse for not behaving like a caring person

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

Horoscope for Nov. 28, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
.

Entertainment

Week in preview: Nov. 28 to Dec. 4, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Review: ‘Horrible Bosses 2′ doesn’t work

By Jake Coyle | From Page: B2

Review: ‘Madagascar’ spin-off hatches family fun

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Prison theater transforms Colombian inmates

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Singer John Mayer among ‘Late Late Show’ subs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Reading Harry Potter gives clues to brain activity

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Talking songs with She & Him

By Kim Durbin | From Page: B3

Entertainment calendar Nov. 28, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B4

 
Cosby testimony describes accuser’s spiked story

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

.

Sports

College notebook: Many happy returns for Arizona’s Bondurant

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Sherman’s big night leads Seattle past 49ers again

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

Rookie quarterback Carr is Raiders’ silver lining

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
US cities urged to keep price tags down for 2024

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Eagles roll over Cowboys 33-10 for NFC East lead

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
5 investigated in FIFA WCup bid corruption probe

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Johnson shines in Detroit’s 34-17 win over Chicago

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
No. 9 UCLA must overcome Stanford for Pac-12 title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

Signups for Friday, Nov. 28, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

 
.

Business

Kia’s ‘Soulful’ first electric car

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
Automakers aim to drive away car computer hackers

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

3 Reasons holiday shoppers will spend cautiously

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
OPEC keeps oil output on hold despite low prices

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

.

Obituaries

‘Chipper’ Douglas Lee Anderson Jr.

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Deanna L. Haines

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Esther Ringler

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9