Dear Annie: How can I deal with the demands of being a high school senior? I am overwhelmed.
Between homework, my job, a social life, sports and family time, there are not enough hours in the day. All of these things are important to me, but I don’t know how to balance them. Please don’t suggest I give up any of them, because they are all dear to my heart. — Distressed in Duanesburg
Dear Distressed: No one expects you to enter high school knowing how to perfectly balance your life. This is when you are supposed to learn ways to do it, and there may be a great deal of trial and error in the process because you are juggling more responsibility. That’s OK. You don’t have to give these things up, but you may have to scale back. Perhaps one sport instead of two, fewer hours at your job or telling your friends you can’t go out on Saturday because you have to finish a paper.
This is a good time to recognize that you can’t do everything, so you need to prioritize. Schoolwork comes first. Talk to your parents or the school counselor about the rest. We are confident that you’ll figure it out.
Dear Annie: Although my husband and I have been married for 13 years, we only recently bought our first home. We previously lived in a small apartment.
We are planning to have our first housewarming party once we have fully unpacked and the house is ready for company. Would it be OK to register for things we’d like to have and include the information in our invitations? Or is it best to keep a “private” registration and inform only those who ask what we need? — Can’t Wait To Share New Home
Dear Can’t Wait: Except for showers, it is never a good idea to put information about gift registries into an invitation. It says “buy me things” and that the gift is the point of the party, instead of focusing on the friendship. You may give suggestions to people who specifically ask you what you want, and if you have one or two close friends or family members, you can allow them to pass the word, as well.
Dear Annie: I read another letter in your column regarding a woman’s lack of libido and the husband who found sex elsewhere. Whenever that complaint pops up, everyone makes suggestions, usually for the woman to seek medical attention.
Well, I’ve done that. Every male doctor I asked just laughed and suggested that maybe a “boyfriend” could turn me on. It is demeaning. I love my husband and have no intention of cheating. The problem is, no male anywhere “turns me on.” The female doctors I saw tested my hormones, suggested upping my testosterone (which didn’t help), or shrugged and said I’d have to wait for a female Viagra.
Nothing helps the frustrated women who wish we could get back our desire. It’s time someone found a solution for us, and then we’d feel sexy enough to entice our men so they wouldn’t look for pills or affairs. I know I’m not alone. That doesn’t solve the problem, but it helps to know many of us are in the same boat. — Ormond Beach, Fla.
Dear Ormond Beach: We are surprised that any doctor would brush off your complaint with such frivolity. Perhaps some doctors are reluctant to discuss women’s sexual issues, but lack of libido is a serious problem for many women, and they deserve a doctor who not only understands the issue, but is willing to treat it appropriately. Of course, there is as yet no miracle drug that will bring back your libido, although we suspect researchers are hard at work on it. It’s too lucrative a market to ignore.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.