Friday, July 25, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

The importance of emotions

By
From page A2 | March 12, 2014 |

We all go through millions of emotions in our relationship, and those emotions create brain chemicals that change the way we feel. Sometimes we are in a positive frame of mind (hopefully most of the time), and other times we can be neutral or even have negative feelings about our partners and ourselves.

Being able to trust your lover with your feelings is part of having a great relationship. When you share something personal – perhaps that you are anxious about something at work – and your partner is supportive, it builds trust. It also gives you more strength to deal with whatever your issue is.

However, if your partner puts you down or is unsupportive, it can make you choose to be less communicative about sharing what you are feeling, both now and in the future. This is an unhealthy dynamic in any relationship and needs to be addressed to prevent damage or conflict.

When conflicts do occur, look at how you are speaking to one another. Certain words can act as triggers for conflict, so both of you need to be careful to avoid saying things that may be offensive or may cause either of you to react negatively or to shut down. If you know that certain words or phrases upset your partner and will trigger a conflict, avoid saying them and learn to speak from your heart, not from a place of anger.

If you become upset or angry, it can make things very difficult, and it’s also hard to trust someone who is mad at you. If emotional upset happens on a regular basis, your relationship will be unable to grow, and it will slowly degrade if you don’t find a way to be nice to each other again. That can be as simple as making the commitment that you are going to be kinder to the person you are sharing your life with. If you express your commitment out loud, I promise it will make a difference – and please look in each other’s eyes and feel your connection when you do.

One way to fulfill this new commitment is to make sure that you treat your partner better than you treat everyone else in your life, including other family members. This is not to say that you mistreat other people, but you need to make sure that your mate feels special from time to time. That’s really all it takes, and by doing this, your love will grow a little bit every day. It’s a great habit to develop together and will only make you feel closer.

Another tool for creating more closeness is to acknowledge when your partner does something that you find nice, attractive, or special. Validating your partner will strengthen your bond and make you feel closer to each other. We can’t relate in a vacuum, and if you want to create the happiness you both deserve, both of you need to show how much you care. Give it a try and let your positive emotions be your guide.

Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, is the author of “The Happy Couple – How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.” Email him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com. Follow his daily insights at www.twitter.com/BartonGoldsmith. 

Barton Goldsmith

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
CSP Solano inmates make music for rehabilitation

By Krissi Khokhobashvili | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

Big Chuckllz, fellow comics want to keep Fairfield laughing

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Holly Stell ready for new adventure, plans Sunday concert

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Solano actors join forces for new single, ‘Groove Me’

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Friday concerts begin Aug. 1 at Solano Town Center

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B3

 
 
Bay Stage filled with entertainment at Solano County Fair

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B3

 
Organizers seek riders, volunteers for Ride to Defeat Diabetes

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Bay Area’s air district issues Spare the Air alert

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A4

 
Assembly candidate Henthorn to appear at GOP dinner

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A5

 
Daily Republic seeks good news for column

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: A12, 22 Comments

Fairfield police log: July 23, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
.

US / World

Execution offers evidence against lethal injection

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Judge argues for return of firing squad executions

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 8 Comments

California removes lane splitting guidelines

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 3 Comments

 
Outcry saves rare redwood from being chopped down

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

California man gets 4 years in counterfeit case

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
SF professor charged with taping students in bathroom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

California wine collector set for sentencing on fraud charges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
 
Obama wants limits on US company mergers abroad

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Toxic algae closes Oakland’s Lake Temescal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
House panel clears way for vote on Obama lawsuit

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

Feds cap fines for not buying health insurance

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
House, Senate chairs offer competing bills on VA

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7, 2 Comments

Doctor fired back at gunman in hospital attack

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

 
Social Security’s $300M IT project doesn’t work

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

More US girls now getting cervical cancer vaccine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Storm slams Virginia campground; 2 dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Very bad week: Airline disasters come in a cluster

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Islamic militants seize part of Syrian army base

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Iraq elects new president as attacks kill dozens

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Ukrainian prime minister announces resignation

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

UN school in Gaza caught in cross-fire; 15 killed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Air Algerie jet with 116 on board crashes in Mali

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

As inmate died, lawyers debated if he was in pain

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

 
.

Opinion

Is parenting being criminalized in America?

By Ben Boychuk and Joel Mathis | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

 
Coyote epidemic in Fairfield

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 8 Comments

Editorial Cartoons for July 25, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
Call for tech diversity misplaced

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11

 
.

Living

Today in History for July 25, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: July 25, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes for July 25, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
My siblings want friends to handle sale of our father’s house

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Week in preview July 25-31, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Robert Downey Jr. open to returning for ‘Iron Man 4’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Will Ferrell and Adam McKay to go wild with ‘Manimal’ movie

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: B2

 
Review: Allen casts a limp spell in ‘Magic’

By Jake Coyle | From Page: B2

Review: ‘Lucy’ won’t stretch your brain capacity

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Jon Bon Jovi to be honored for humanitarian work

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Malkovich, Cumberbatch make Comic-Con premieres

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Kiss, Usher, J.Lo to perform at Fashion Rocks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Pop star Azalea talking fashion on MTV

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Entertainment calendar July 25, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

 
Stonestreet: Acceptance will grow for gay athletes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
.

Sports

Moss powers A’s past Astros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Eagles soar past Expos in Area 1 tourney

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B7

Hudson solid, Hammels better in Giants’ loss to Phillies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Indians win 14-8 over Mudcats

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B7

49ers’ Smith plans to meet soon with Commissioner Goodell

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Pucker up! NASCAR returns to Brickyard

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Manning getting used to new faces on Broncos

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Raiders CB Hayden to start camp on PUP

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

Nibali wins Stage 18, closes in on Tour victory

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Lynch expected to hold out from Seahawks camp

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Putnam, Petrovic share Canadian Open lead

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9 | Gallery

 
AP source: Gordon to meet with league Aug. 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Langer leads British Senior by 2 after 1st round

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
A’s Johnson designated for assignment

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Taiwan sweeps US in 1st day of International Crown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
AP Source: NFL stadium sites explored in Toronto

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

2 Texas football players charged with sexual assault

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Cavs sign Wiggins, who can’t be traded for 30 days

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Suspended WR Blackmon arrested on drug complaint

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Signups for Friday, July 25, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

Ravens RB Rice receives 2-game suspension from NFL

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, July 25, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

This date in sports history for Friday, July 25, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

 
Weather for July 25, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B12

.

Business

LR4 is updated for fuel efficiency

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
Ford’s green push

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: C2

Varying health premium subsidies worry consumers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
US new-home sales plummet in June

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Across US job market, layoffs are becoming rare

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
US unemployment aid applications drop to 284,000

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Dunkin’ pushing cashiers to ‘upsell’ in afternoons

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Court throws out Chiquita terror payment claims

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Bombardier restructuring cuts 1,800 jobs globally

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Dick’s Sporting Goods lays off 478 PGA golf pros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

.

Obituaries

Mary Bell Scrivner Sanders

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Arturo Montenegro

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Mary Spingola Stagnaro

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Nelson Max Allen

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Shirley T. ‘Mac’ McFadden

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 5 Comments

 
.

Comics

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
.

Solano County Fair 2014

Cultural exhibits, entertainment are fair highlights

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF2 | Gallery

Bay Stage talent competitions, nightly karaoke party

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF3

Jack & Bernice Newell Junior Livestock Auction returns to fair

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF4 | Gallery

Big names, big sounds grace fair stage

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF4 | Gallery

Bay Stage welcomes wide array of entertainers

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF15 | Gallery

Solano shines at fair’s County and Cities Expo

By Solano County Fair | From Page: SCF16