Saturday, January 31, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Should we be concerned that Amber spends an hour brushing her teeth?

Dear Annie: My wife and I are a little concerned about our 30-year-old daughter, “Amber.” Every day, she spends an hour brushing her teeth and five full minutes washing her hands and then rechecks the same things about five times.

Amber says she can’t control it and it’s hard to stop. This has been going on for a little over a year. Is this anything to be concerned about? Is this just the way she is? Any advice would be great. — Concerned Parents

Dear Parents: Repetitive behaviors like this are obsessive-compulsive disorders. They are not uncommon. However, OCD behaviors can become worse over time, and it helps to get treatment as soon as possible. You or Amber can contact the International OCD Foundation (ocfoundation.org) for more information and referrals to therapists who specialize in dealing with this problem. We’ll be thinking of you.

Dear Annie: My dear mother-in-law has suffered with dementia for 10 years. This wonderful, loving woman did not receive the care she could have, and as a result, her quality of life is worse than it needed to be. I have some advice for family members when a loved one receives the dreaded diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s:

You need to learn about the illness, and you need to make a plan. Pretending the person is not sick doesn’t help. It makes life harder for them. I never realized how powerful a force denial could be until I witnessed my father-in-law’s absolute refusal to change anything about their life. Expecting her to keep cooking, leaving her alone, etc., were truly acts of cruelty.

Realize that your loved one is not going to get better. He or she may stay the same for a long time, or may steadily get worse, but they are not going to improve.

You need to keep them safe and anticipate that they may do things they have never done before – like wander, take the wrong medicine or let a stranger into the house.

If you live out of town, consider the possibility that those who live near your loved one may know more about the day-to-day situation than you do. When you visit and keep Mom company all day and do fun activities with her, yes, she’s going to seem better, but it doesn’t reflect the reality of her normal day when she’s alone for hours at a time. If the locals say Mom needs more care, they may be right.

Get help. Join a support group or contact your council on aging. We hired a wonderful dementia coach who helps families figure out what to do. It is possible for the sick person to enjoy the things that they are able to do if they are given support.

Consider that the person’s spouse might not be the best caregiver. Observe what is really happening in the household. You may need to hire helpers. In day care, assisted living or other facilities, there is trained staff, always rested and fresh.

Try to avoid isolation, for the sick person as well as the caregiver. Don’t turn down offers of help. I called some of my mother-in-law’s friends to ask whether they would come over and learned that they had been turned away by my father-in-law.

Someday I hope there is a cure for this horrible illness, but until then we have to do the best we can to manage life for those who are dependent on us. — The In-Law

Dear In-Law: Thank you for taking the time to write and guide others who are in a similar situation. We hope anyone affected by this dreadful disease will contact the Alzheimer’s Association at alz.org. Their website has a wealth of information for dementia and Alzheimer’s. There is also a 24/7 Helpline at 800-272-3900.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Solano County confirms 1st local case of measles

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: A1

 
SPCA begins caring for more than 100 rescued dogs

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Top workers, top students – and succulent crab

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Armijo students savor catered Fuddruckers lunch

By Susan Hiland And Susan Winlow | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Life sentence in 2011 execution-style killing

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3

Partial Fairfield freeway road closure starts Monday

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

 
DUI patrols set for Super Bowl Sunday

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

Fairfield police log: Jan. 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Suisun City police log: Jan. 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Another trip to Texas reminds me how lucky I am

By Murray Bass | From Page: B10

 
.

US / World

Man charged in California family’s deaths will be own lawyer

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

 
Stanford University to get $50 million to produce vaccines

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

Yosemite park fee hikes coming in March

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
San Francisco coroner says human remains are from 1 man

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

PG&E releases thousands of emails with state regulators

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Judge expresses doubt about constitutionality of no-fly list

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

French fracture laid bare as 8-year-old praises terrorists

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Africans open new front in war on terror to fight Boko Haram

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

US mulls Middle East-North Africa category for 2020 Census

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Balloon crew makes history crossing Pacific Ocean

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Murder trial begins 35 years after 6-year-old vanished in NY

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Judge: Funeral home wrongly sold Lee Harvey Oswald’s casket

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Jordan awaits proof hostage is alive after swap deadline

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
New lottery tickets come with a side of bacon – scent

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

 
.

Opinion

 
GOP should plan for post-Obamacare world

By Ramesh Ponnuru | From Page: A8

Editorial Cartoon: Jan. 31, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Solano College news makes me sick

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

.

Living

Today in History: Jan. 31, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Jan. 31, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Jan. 31, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B7

 
My recently widowed mother is already thinking about re-marrying

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B7

Five ways 3D-printed food will change the way we eat

By The Washington Post | From Page: B10

 
.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Miranda Lambert leads ACM Awards with 8 nominations

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Shakira gives birth to 2nd baby with Spanish football star

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Ex-rap mogul ‘Suge’ Knight arrested in deadly hit-and-run

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

List: 10 Super Bowl ads you’ll be talking about

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Rod McKuen, mega-selling poet and performer, dies at 81

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

.

Sports

LeBron returns, Love, Irving team for 44, as Cavs top Kings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Mustangs ride away from Indian’s home court with 66-60 victory

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Hayward, Utah Jazz upset Golden State Warriors 110-100

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Laird leads as Tiger shoots 82 and misses the cut

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Seau, Warner, Pace first-time Hall eligibles

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Djokovic beats Wawrinka to reach fifth Australian Open final

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

N.H. Speedway general manager faces lewdness charge

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Kings’ Cousins to replace Kobe Bryant in All-Star game

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Judge: Jury can watch Super Bowl unless Hernandez mentioned

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Blackhawks Hall of Famer Stan Mikita has brain disorder

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Ko takes lead at LPGA opener, closes in on golf history

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Carroll says decision is Sherman’s if baby arrives early

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

NFL’s Goodell seeks to look past ‘tough year,’ to future

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
This date in sports history for Jan. 31, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

US consumer confidence at highest level in a decade

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Companies steering clear of Super Bowl name

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

.

Obituaries

Anthony Neal Hunley

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Frank Z. Perez

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Joe Lambert Robinson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Otilia (Tela) Quinn

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Danica Gojkovich Ryder

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
WillIiam “Bill” Hunter

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Garry A. Britton

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Anneliese Edith (Luckner) Fraser

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
.

Home Seller 1/31/2015

Quirky add-ons a common feature of celebrity homes

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR2

5 ways to make a kitchen more germ-free

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR3

Average US rate on 30-year mortgage rises to 3.66 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR3

Real estate transactions for Jan. 31, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: HSR3