Friday, August 29, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Should I be worried if my wife disinvites me to a trip to Europe?

By
February 25, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My wife of nearly 30 years and I are having some difficulties. Recently, she asked whether I wanted to go to Rome for a business conference. She thought we could see the sights afterward. I said yes, as I’m recently retired and have plenty of time.

However, a few weeks later, I was uninvited. She said I wouldn’t enjoy the weather. Last week, I discovered that she is staying an extra day with someone else. She made these plans long before she disinvited me. Yesterday, she told me that a woman from work is staying with her for an extra day. I’ve never heard this woman’s name before. These meetings are held once a year in different locations, but this is the first time she has stayed any extra time.

Additionally, over the past year, her behavior at work has changed. She has started wearing makeup and nicer clothes. She mentions taking walks with some guy or another and having coffee or lunch with some other guy. I’m sure taking a walk with Peter or having coffee with Paul and casual conversations with Larry are innocent enough. But I’ve noticed that these same guys only interact with attractive women like my wife.

My wife doesn’t see a problem, but I know how guys think. I worry that my wife is looking beyond me. Am I worrying about nothing? — Anxious in Davis, Calif.

Dear Anxious: The fact that your wife wants to be more attractive at work is not necessarily a problem. A lot of married people enjoy flirting for the attention and have no interest in pursuing things further. However, when your wife disinvites you to a trip to Europe and then stays an extra day, we would be concerned that she intends to party. Things can get out of hand when you are far away from your spouse and want to impress your work friends with how wild and crazy (and young) you are. It’s time to have an honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. If she refuses to explain herself, counseling is the next step.

Dear Annie: I have a big problem. I am only 49 and have been married twice. My first wife passed away 10 years ago in May, and I am still mourning her death.

My new wife of seven years doesn’t think it’s normal that I still think about my first wife all the time. Can you help me deal with her death so I can move on and live a better life? — Still Grieving

Dear Still: There is no timetable for grief, but if you haven’t moved much beyond your initial stages of mourning after 10 years, it’s time to seek professional guidance. It is normal to think about your first wife on occasion, but it is not normal to obsess over her, cry daily, turn her closet into a shrine or constantly compare her to your current wife. If you are doing any of these things, please ask your doctor to refer you to a grief counselor.

Dear Annie: The letter from “Two Scared Parents” motivated me to speak up. People don’t seem to understand that alcoholism is an illness. I am an alcoholic with many years of sobriety. I attend AA meetings and have been to Al-Anon meetings.

People whose loved ones have other serious diseases research to find out all they can about the disease. They are usually eager to learn in order to help. So why is it that when it comes to the deadly disease of alcoholism, the family complains, makes excuses and takes no action? They expect the sick person, the one who cannot think clearly due to alcohol in the brain cells, to be logical. When I ask, “Why don’t you go to Al-Anon?” they tell me it’s not their problem.

I realize it’s hard to understand that it is a disease. Please, dear friends, go find out all you can about alcoholism. Take action to help yourself. — Anonymous

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

1 critical after 2 shot at Fairfield bus stop

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Prolific pears rule Courtland area

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Suisun police plan holiday weekend checkpoint

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
No plea as Vacaville homicide suspect appears in court

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Fairfield man faces trial on child sex charges

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3

 
Vacaville man convicted of fifth DUI

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3

 
Police in Vacaville schedule DUI checkpoint

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

 
Accused park shooters set for probable cause hearing

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A4

Solano continues to deal with earthquake

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A4

 
Bunting earns praise for role in paint case

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A5

 
 
Fairfield police log: Aug. 27, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A8

Suisun City police log: Aug. 27, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A8

 
Weather for Aug. 29, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B14

.

US / World

Mom won’t be charged in school confrontation

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
California Supreme Court pick confirmed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Assembly approves statewide ban on plastic bags

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Feds to resume leasing for fracking in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

High school buddies followed similar path to jihad

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Drugs killed Oklahoma inmate in troubled execution

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Q&A: Few laws govern children at shooting range

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Gun tourism grows in popularity in recent years

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Obama sets no timeline for action on immigration

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
4 killed in New Mexico crash of medical flight

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

US rebukes Oklahoma for ditching school standards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Suit claims police brutality at Ferguson protests

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Flight diverts to Boston over reclined-seat upset

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Testimony wraps up in former Va. governor trial

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Obama rules out US military action in Ukraine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
UN Security Council meets on Ukraine crisis

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Russian columns enter Ukraine; leader urges calm

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Attempt to call missing jet may alter search area

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

Europe seeks role in postwar Gaza

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

 
UN: Armed group detains 43 peacekeepers in Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

A look at the Islamic State militants in Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
Jihadists kill dozens of captured Syrian soldiers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

UN: Ebola disease caseload could reach 20,000

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
.

Opinion

 
What should the US do about the Islamic State?

By Ben Boychuk and Joel Mathis | From Page: A11

Question of the week: Is US policy on hostages correct?

By Daily Republic | From Page: A11

 
More ways to help stop bullies

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11

.

Living

.

Entertainment

Review: Ex-007 actor spying again in ‘Nov. Man’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Review: ‘As Above’ so-so

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Review: The case against binge-watching TV

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
.

Sports

Angels rally in 10th for 4-3 win over Oakland

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Record-setting Petit leads Giants past Rockies 4-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

Prep football preview: Rio Vista looks to get back to playoffs

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Borland returns pick for TD, 49ers beat Texans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

Carr’s 3 TDs lead Raiders past Seahawks 41-31

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
After Rice, NFL increases domestic violence bans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

USC coach accepts some blame in Shaw situation

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Williams overcomes 3 early double-faults to win at U.S. Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

Mickelson in a bind with 4 straight playoff events

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Weakened US team aims for world basketball title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Rise in flags makes NFL defenders wary of contact

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Week Zero prep football capsules

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

Local youngster will play baseball on national stage

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B9, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Signups for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

Stewart returning to competition after fatal crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

 
Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B11

This date in sports history for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Power looks for elusive IndyCar title at Fontana

By The Associated Press | From Page: B14

.

Business

M235i revives classic BMW memories

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
Average US 30-year mortgage rate at 4.1 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Obama touts revised economic growth numbers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
US economy grew at brisk 4.2 pct. rate in Q2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Ukraine conflict weighs on markets; Retailers fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Abercrombie name to shrink from clothing

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

Survey: Americans’ pessimism on economy has grown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Apple to unveil next products at Sept. 9 event

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

Frank W. Moy Jr.

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Gary Allen Person

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Lois C. Clark

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics