Thursday, January 29, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Readers respond to husband’s open letter to his wife about how his affair was justified

By
From page B5 | December 15, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Your Husband,” who wrote an open letter to his wife explaining how her unwillingness to have sex justified his affair. He was obviously pouring his heart out. I am a 54-year-old woman on hormone replacement. My husband and I enjoy a wonderful sex life, but as I get older, I am less and less interested. I love him and want to make him happy, so once a week I force myself to have sex. If you love someone, you try to understand their needs.

But I respect hard honesty. If he had told his wife how he felt before his affair, they might have reached a mutual agreement. Now, it’s a betrayal of the marriage. He made a decision for both of them without consulting her. How would he feel if she did that? — Emotional in California

Dear Emotional: We were drowning in mail from readers responding to this man’s message, nearly all of it from women. Read on:

From Illinois: This husband is an immature, selfish, spineless jerk. How can he claim he loves his wife and then commit adultery? As long as she fulfills his need for sex, she is perfect, but when the sex stops, all those other things don’t count. He should have the decency to tell her that his need for sex outweighs his love for her.

New York: I am the Other Woman. If his wife has no libido, why should he have to live that way, too? The kicker is that I am also married, and I love my husband. I wonder whether “Your Husband” really has no emotional attachment to the other woman, because I know I am attached to mine. Worse, I am not so turned on by my husband because I have such a strong physical connection with my boyfriend.

Pennsylvania: I’ll bet his wife cooks, cleans and takes care of those children, so he’d be an idiot to walk away. Not once does he indicate that they have tried counseling or a doctor’s help. Instead, he took the selfish way out and slept with another woman. And just to be clear, a basic need would be food, water, shelter, clothing. No one has ever died for lack of sex.

Chicago: This letter shocked me, and then I became enraged. Dear Husband: I’ll tell you why we don’t have sex anymore. I am exhausted after working a full day and then coming home and taking care of the kids. I see you watching TV and wonder how you don’t notice the dirty dishes, screaming kids and toys on the floor. I resent you for choosing your friends and other interests over me. I notice how you look at other women but can’t find the same gleam in your eye for me. You pay no attention to me until we get into the bedroom, and then you expect me to fulfill your desires. I can’t have sex with someone who treats me so poorly.

Florida: I don’t have libido issues. I am simply turned off. You have gained 80 pounds, perspire profusely and have bad breath. If you would spend less time playing with your girlfriend and work on your appeal, this would be different. I do love you, so figure out which woman will be around to feed you and change your Depends when you have a stroke.

Boston: Love does not sneak around, betray or hurt others. That’s why marriage can be hard. Others with the same issue choose to honor their vows of fidelity, talk openly with their spouse and seek help from professionals.

Arizona: Sex creates a bond. I think this man has a big surprise coming if he ever tries to break it off with the other woman.

California: I was this wife. At age 38, I began ignoring his advances. Looking back, I think I was unhappy with myself. I finally found my libido, and our sex life has been amazing since. But when I first approached him again, he turned me down. Now I know how much rejection hurts, especially from someone you love.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
1st release for birds with mysterious goo a success

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Vacaville police seek help to find sex offender

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

 
Sweep by sheriff’s team nets 4 arrests

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3, 3 Comments

 
 
Travis starts work on Functional Fitness Center

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

 
Boy Scouts to screen award-winning film

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

 
Church makes ready for health, wellness fair

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

4-H Annual Presentation Day returns in February

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Vacaville SWAT team serves search warrant

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

Real estate occupancy continues to climb

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
 
Council backs beer, wine sales for Vacaville store

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

Suisun City police log: Jan. 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

 
Fairfield police log: Jan. 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

.

US / World

 
Air Force probing alleged ‘treason’ remark by general

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Expect tiny tuxes but no real puppy love at doggy weddings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Violations mount for toxic recycler

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Quake rattles N. California coast

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Second arrest in student stabbing

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Large salmon release planned

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Marshals track down missing treasure hunter

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

‘Drunk’ excuse falls flat in Vandy rape trial

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Attorney General nominee defends Obama immigration changes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

Police seek law to alter Google app

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
Euro coast guards scramble to locate Syrian ghost ship

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Chinese regulators go after online sale of fake goods

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Investigation stems from police-involved shooting outbreak

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Hezbollah missiles kill soldiers

By New York Times | From Page: A6

 
ISIS extends hostage deadline

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Tape: Scientist offers to build nuke bomb targeting New York

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
.

Opinion

A truly misinformed writer

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A7, 20 Comments

 
India now has 322 billion reasons to fix economy

By William Pesek | From Page: A7

Don’t brush off bullying

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

 
Editorial Cartoon: Jan. 29, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Just be honest and come forward

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

.

Living

Today in History: Jan. 29, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Jan. 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Deadbeat boyfriend ruined my relationship with my granddaughter

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

 
Horoscope Jan. 29, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Theater legend Joel Grey reveals that he is gay

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5, 2 Comments

 
Super Bowl advertisers aim not to offend

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

.

Sports

Kings center DeMarcus Cousins hoping to make All-Star team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Rodriguez wrestlers pull out 34-24 win over Wood

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Solano men cruise past LMC for biggest win of season

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

NFL players who started young show more thinking problems

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
GM John Schneider has been architect of Seahawks’ success

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Patriots not dwelling on last Super Bowl loss in Arizona

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Woods returns to Phoenix with plenty of memories

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Tony Stewart acquires national sprint car series tour

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Korda, Lewis, Munoz tied for lead at LPGA season opener

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Head of NCAA enforcement: Academic misconduct on rise

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Chicago Cubs’ Ernie Banks statue moved downtown for tribute

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Kobe Bryant has surgery, expected to be out for 9 months

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
This date in sports history for Jan. 29, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Joseph Phillip Raiff

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Dzhon Athanc

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9