Sunday, January 25, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Randall: Celebrating a life – and moving on with life

By
From page B5 | August 04, 2014 |

No one looks forward to going to a memorial service, let alone, two in one weekend. But my husband and I didn’t want to miss either of these.

The first was for a longtime family friend. For 50 years or so, Dave and his wife shared their lives with my husband’s parents. As couples, they raised their children together, traveled the world and watched their grandchildren grow up.

I’d heard countless stories of the memories that made the two families seem as one. Blood, they say, is thicker than water. But friendship can be the life raft that keeps us afloat.

The second service, two days later, was for a young woman who wasn’t so young anymore, but will always be young to me. Trish was a teenager when we met. I was in my 20s, a new mother and a youth leader in our church, when she asked if we could be “prayer partners.”

For the next two years, she came over once a week and we would talk (as best we could with my kids climbing on us) about everything and nothing. Between visits, we prayed for each other. The visits were great, but it was the prayers, I think, that bound us together.

One thing I am sure of: I learned far more from Trish than she did from me. Then she went off to college, married her childhood sweetheart, had three babies and lived a beautiful life.

We kept in touch by email. Three years ago, she wrote to tell me she had breast cancer, and reminded me that we were still “prayer partners.”

Her treatment went well. She went on with her life. Then last week I learned the cancer had come back and she was gone.

The story of our lives is always a mystery, isn’t it? What will happen next? How will it end? What will people say about us at our memorial service?

The services we attended this weekend celebrated lives that were lived well by two people of great faith, who loved their families and friends, and made a difference in their communities.

One life was long; the other ended too soon. But both changed their worlds, left their marks on those who loved them. And both will surely be missed.

I wish they could’ve heard all that was said about them. I wish they could have seen the great gathering of family and friends and realized how much they meant – and will always mean – to those they left behind.

Who knows? Maybe they did. If Heaven is anything, surely it’s a place where we’ll get to know beyond all doubt who we are and how much we are loved.

Years ago, I lost my first husband to cancer. People who know that often ask me what’s the best advice to offer to someone who is grieving?

The answer is simple. The best advice is no advice at all.

Second best? Take care of yourself, get some rest, and then do what you want to do.

And third (only if you’re sure they are ready to hear it): Remember that you’re alive.

After my husband died, a very kind friend told me something I have shared countless times:

“The challenge for you now,” he wrote, “having lost your loved one, is to live a life that is honoring to his memory, while at the same time, that life moves forward, so that only one person has died, and not two.”

Some people get to live longer than others. It’s not fair, but there it is. Those who do, I believe, owe it to those who don’t, to live well, fully alive.

That’s what memorial services are for. We gather to celebrate life. To remember the departed, wrap our arms around their families, hug the necks of old friends and remind ourselves that we are still alive in all our imperfection until it’s our turn to live in a new and perfect way.

I’m looking forward to that.

Reach Sharon Randall at P.O. Box 777394, Henderson, NV 89077, or on her website: www.sharonrandall.com.

Sharon Randall

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

    Nursing students take next step in higher education

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: C1 | Gallery

     
    Friend seeks justice for 1982 Vacaville homicide victim

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1, 12 Comments | Gallery

     
    Solano GOP welcomes address from King niece

    By Bill Hicks | From Page: A1, 4 Comments | Gallery

     
    Biggest Little Car Show returns for 31st year

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Solano Safety Net Summit set in Fairfield downtown

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

    Wine, chocolate pairing comes to downtown Benicia

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Local gas prices dip below $2 a gallon

    By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Be heart smart all year long

    By Gerald Bourne, MD | From Page: C4

    Kindergarten Readiness Roundup enlightens parents

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Weather for Sunday, Jan. 25, 2015

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B4

    Crews respond to residential fire

    By Bill Hicks | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    CHP seeks witnesses to I-80 crash

    By Bill Hicks | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    City seeks input on downtown plan

    By Brian Miller and Karl Dumas | From Page: B7, 2 Comments

    Fairfield police log: Jan. 23, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

     
    Suisun City police log: Jan. 23, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

    Privatized housing tenants to feel BAH pinch

    By Tom Philpott | From Page: B10

     
    Suisun City police log: Jan. 22, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

    Airman with Fairfield tie completes training

    By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B10

     
    .

    US / World

    Abe ‘speechless’ after video claims IS hostage dead

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    It’s a hoot hanging out with owls at this Tokyo cafe

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C2 | Gallery

    Man searching by plane finds body of missing son off Mexico

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Kia recalling nearly 87,000 Fortes because of fire risk

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Elon Musk’s SpaceX drops lawsuit against Air Force

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    California’s public-worker payroll increased post-recession

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Avian flu confirmed in commercial turkey flock in California

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Boy, 13, arrested in fatal stabbing near Los Angeles school

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Abortion opponents express renewed hope at SF rally

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    School: Sea otter conceived in wild is 1st born in captivity

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Company seeks rights to names of iconic Grand Canyon lodges

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

    Expert says King Tut mask can be restored after epoxy used

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

     
    Obama to cut short India trip to pay call on Saudi Arabia

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

    GOP presses state bills limiting gay rights before ruling

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

     
    1st attempt to lift fuselage of crashed AirAsia plane fails

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

    Tens of thousands protest after president resigns in Yemen

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

     
    Thousands march against socialist president in Venezuela

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

    Rockets kill 30 in Ukrainian city as rebels launch offensive

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Opinion

    Plea for return of stolen statue

    By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Not all police are bad

    By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 10 Comments

    Editorial Cartoon: Jan. 25, 2015

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Sound off for Jan. 25, 2015

    By Daily Republic | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

     
     
    .

    Living

    Today in History: Jan. 25, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Community Calendar: Jan. 25, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

    The gift of a new beginning

    By Dalia Adams | From Page: C3, 1 Comment

     
    Mennonite group to build houses in tornado-damaged town

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

    Yearbooks bring Jewish, Catholic groups together

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

     
    Horoscope Jan. 25, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: C4

    My dad can’t get over the bad first impression of my boyfriend

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: C4

     
    .

    Entertainment

    PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

     
    Mariel Hemingway working on memoir and young adult novel

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

    Jonathan Franzen to appear at BookExpo America

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

     
    TVGrid

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B11

    .

    Sports

    Thompson’s record 3rd quarter leads Warriors past Kings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Belichick on deflated balls: ‘We try to do everything right’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1, 4 Comments | Gallery

    25 years of trying to get it right

    By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1, 3 Comments | Gallery

     
    Sharapova, Bouchard into quarterfinals at Australian Open

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

    2 Williams sisters, 2 Madisons into 4th round at Aussie Open

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Hall of Famer Ernie Banks mourned in sports world and beyond

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    AP Interview: Selig says MLB could expand internationally

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Could Super Bowl be Lynch’s finale in Seattle?

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Sherman, Seahawks take the trash-talk lead over Patriots

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Shortstop Troy Tulowitzki’s surgically repaired hip on mend

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Buckeyes celebrate their title at Ohio Stadium

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Carroll, Belichick excelled after failing the first time

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Luck-led Team Carter vs. Romo-lead Team Irvin in Pro Bowl

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    AP Explains: The Pro Bowl, unlike any other All-Star game

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Abdullah leads North to 34-13 win over South in Senior Bowl

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    As Brady, Gronk know, pre-Super Bowl injury talk always big

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Upstart wins $400,000 Holy Bull at Gulfstream

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Mischief Clem wins California Cup Derby in photo finish

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    World Cup of Hockey tournament set for 2016

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Hometown report: Bowling

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B3

    Ashley Wagner wins 3rd US title with record-setting scores

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Weber’s 108.5-mph blast gives him hardest shot at NHL skills

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Jimenez, Mediate share lead in Champions Tour opener

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Grace wins Qatar Masters by 1 stroke

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Matt Kuchar stumbles in, gives away Humana Challenge lead

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    For streaking Atlanta Hawks, it’s all about the balance

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Sports on TV for Sunday, Jan. 25, 2015

    By Paul Farmer | From Page: B5

     
    This date in sports history for Jan. 25, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

    .

    Business

    Anheuser-Busch to buy craft beer company

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

     
    Higher standard deduction, other breaks for older taxpayers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

    Booking a trip to the ER on your smartphone? It’s a breeze

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

     
    Recalls this week: cleaners, fitness machines

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    Tiny Cokes: Less guilt means more money for makers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    First Look: Apple’s HomeKit could help smarten up your home

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

    .

    Obituaries

    Sheila Margery (Smith) Luxenberg

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics