Monday, April 27, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Randall: Celebrating a life – and moving on with life

By
From page B5 | August 04, 2014 |

No one looks forward to going to a memorial service, let alone, two in one weekend. But my husband and I didn’t want to miss either of these.

The first was for a longtime family friend. For 50 years or so, Dave and his wife shared their lives with my husband’s parents. As couples, they raised their children together, traveled the world and watched their grandchildren grow up.

I’d heard countless stories of the memories that made the two families seem as one. Blood, they say, is thicker than water. But friendship can be the life raft that keeps us afloat.

The second service, two days later, was for a young woman who wasn’t so young anymore, but will always be young to me. Trish was a teenager when we met. I was in my 20s, a new mother and a youth leader in our church, when she asked if we could be “prayer partners.”

For the next two years, she came over once a week and we would talk (as best we could with my kids climbing on us) about everything and nothing. Between visits, we prayed for each other. The visits were great, but it was the prayers, I think, that bound us together.

One thing I am sure of: I learned far more from Trish than she did from me. Then she went off to college, married her childhood sweetheart, had three babies and lived a beautiful life.

We kept in touch by email. Three years ago, she wrote to tell me she had breast cancer, and reminded me that we were still “prayer partners.”

Her treatment went well. She went on with her life. Then last week I learned the cancer had come back and she was gone.

The story of our lives is always a mystery, isn’t it? What will happen next? How will it end? What will people say about us at our memorial service?

The services we attended this weekend celebrated lives that were lived well by two people of great faith, who loved their families and friends, and made a difference in their communities.

One life was long; the other ended too soon. But both changed their worlds, left their marks on those who loved them. And both will surely be missed.

I wish they could’ve heard all that was said about them. I wish they could have seen the great gathering of family and friends and realized how much they meant – and will always mean – to those they left behind.

Who knows? Maybe they did. If Heaven is anything, surely it’s a place where we’ll get to know beyond all doubt who we are and how much we are loved.

Years ago, I lost my first husband to cancer. People who know that often ask me what’s the best advice to offer to someone who is grieving?

The answer is simple. The best advice is no advice at all.

Second best? Take care of yourself, get some rest, and then do what you want to do.

And third (only if you’re sure they are ready to hear it): Remember that you’re alive.

After my husband died, a very kind friend told me something I have shared countless times:

“The challenge for you now,” he wrote, “having lost your loved one, is to live a life that is honoring to his memory, while at the same time, that life moves forward, so that only one person has died, and not two.”

Some people get to live longer than others. It’s not fair, but there it is. Those who do, I believe, owe it to those who don’t, to live well, fully alive.

That’s what memorial services are for. We gather to celebrate life. To remember the departed, wrap our arms around their families, hug the necks of old friends and remind ourselves that we are still alive in all our imperfection until it’s our turn to live in a new and perfect way.

I’m looking forward to that.

Reach Sharon Randall at P.O. Box 777394, Henderson, NV 89077, or on her website: www.sharonrandall.com.

Sharon Randall

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
Paint the Town Purple; and Roxie

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
City Coach hosts first block party

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Bid Corderos Park, city staff recommends

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

 
White minister fought for civil rights in the South

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 8 Comments | Gallery

Farmers markets herald return of summer

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Denim and Diamonds fundraiser set May 16

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

 
Crash claims life of Concord teen

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Biz Buzz: Dutch Bros. plans ALS fundraiser

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B7

 
Biz Buzz: Company schedules pasta class

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B7

 
Biz Buzz: NorthBay offers extended hours for primary care

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: B7, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Biz Buzz: Retail store helps those with autism

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B7

Biz Buzz: Committee schedules contractors breakfast

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: B7

 
Biz Buzz: Budweiser kicks off new parks campaign

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B7

.

US / World

Picture it: A 1,000-year exposure showing a changing Earth

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
No time to lose: Global response to Nepal quake gears up

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Japan’s prime minister goes to US to showcase close ties

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Israel says airstrike on Syrian border targeted militants

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Family, friends in Baltimore mourn death of arrested man

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
‘Batman’ killer studied brain disorders before mass murder

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Image from the quake: Heavy damage in Nepal ancient city

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Fighting rages in Yemen’s 3rd-largest city, strikes continue

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Mountaineers, guides stream from Everest after avalanche

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Death toll in Nepal quake rises to more than 3,200

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Late spring complicates already perilous amphibian migration

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Quake agony revealed quietly on trip from Nepal airport

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Corinthian Colleges to shut down all 28 remaining campuses

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: April 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in history: Monday, April 27, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Parenting: How to set boundaries on screen time

By The Washington Post | From Page: B5

 
Horoscope: April 28, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

Horoscope: April 27, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

 
My husband doesn’t want me to redecorate home he had with first wife

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

.

Entertainment

TVGrid April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
TVGrid April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

.

Sports

Warriors confident after sweep of Pelicans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Giants-Rockies game postponed by rain

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Wall, Beal lead Wiz past Raptors 125-94 in Game 4 for sweep

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Paul, Clippers even series with 114-105 win over Spurs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Ko wins Swinging Skirts for 2nd straight year

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Motorcycle rider from Livermore killed in Nevada race

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Billy Andrade and Joe Durant win Legends of Golf

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Cavs sweep Celts as James scores 27 in 101-93 victory

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

It’s here: Fight week begins with Pacquiao caravan to Vegas

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
American Pharoah completes final pre-Kentucky Derby workout

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Newgarden claims first IndyCar Series win not far from home

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Justin Rose wins in New Orleans for 7th PGA Tour title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Elizabeth Cepeda

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Kirk Noonan

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 3 Comments

Sandra King

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Janis Ruth (Sefzik) Skinner

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Dilbert April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
B.C. April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Blondie April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Frank and Ernest April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Wizard of Id April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Peanuts April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Baldo April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Garfield April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Beetle Bailey April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
For Better or Worse April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Sally Forth April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baby Blues April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Zits April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Pickles April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Rose is Rose April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Get Fuzzy April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Cryptoquote April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Word Sleuth April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Crossword April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Sudoku April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Bridge April 28

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Get Fuzzy April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Pickles April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Wizard of Id April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Baldo April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Rose is Rose April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

For Better or Worse April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Zits April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Frank and Ernest April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Peanuts April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Dilbert April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Baby Blues April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Sally Forth April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
B.C. April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Garfield April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Beetle Bailey April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Blondie April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Cryptoquote April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Word Sleuth April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Sudoku April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Bridge April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Crossword April 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7