Thursday, January 29, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Our son-in-law completely ignores us when we visit

By
July 22, 2014 |

Dear Annie: We live five hours from our daughter, “Barbara,” her husband, “Seth,” and their two kids. We visit them once a year.

Seth completely ignores us. The last time we arrived, our daughter and grandchildren hugged us, but Seth sat with his back to us. He didn’t even say hello. When my husband went to talk to him, Seth walked out of the room. Each time we go there, he becomes a little worse. We send him birthday and Christmas gifts, and he never responds. We have no idea why he hates us. When he does talk to us, he mostly discusses his new hobby: shooting defenseless animals. He knows we are repulsed by this, yet he prattles on about how he plans to take his daughter with him on hunting trips.

He seems to be a good father, although he is very condescending toward our daughter. Barbara claims that Seth is a terrific husband, and she loves being a stay-at-home mom. But she looks pale and thin and rarely smiles. We are worried about her.

Maybe Barbara doesn’t want to ruin things for the kids, but honestly, we think she’s delusional. We love her, but don’t know how to change Seth’s attitude. Any ideas? — Sad Grandparents

Dear Sad: The fact that Seth likes to hunt is his business as long as he has the proper licenses. We don’t recommend you debate the issue, because you are unlikely to find common ground. We agree that he is rude, but unless Barbara can convince him to be more polite, it’s best to lower your expectations and ignore his behavior.

The more pressing issue is Barbara’s health. Is she truly too pale and thin, or are you projecting? If you believe there is abuse, report it to the authorities. Meanwhile, please reach out to your daughter without denigrating her husband, which will make her defend him. Ask how she’s feeling. Talk to her often. Invite her to bring the kids to visit you, with or without Seth. See for yourself what’s really going on.

Dear Annie: I can’t remember the last time my wife and I were intimate. She even refuses to snuggle in bed. It’s not about sex. She pushed me away so many times it put a knife through my heart. I finally gave up. If I try to talk about it, she becomes angry and refuses to discuss it. She refuses counseling, too. We get along fine in other areas, but I guess that’s only a front. I tried counseling on my own and was told to decide whether to stay or move on.

I have now found someone else. I talk to her online every day. We’ve hugged and kissed. I have fallen in love, and she says the same, but neither of us wants to destroy our families. Please tell all spouses, male or female, that sex doesn’t have to be the only part of intimacy. Show your spouse you love him or her. My heart is broken that I had to find someone else to fill that gap, but I have no intention of letting her go now. — No Name

Dear No Name: We appreciate your honesty, although cheating is not a satisfactory solution. Would it help if you told your wife exactly what she is risking? If she won’t listen, show her this column. Explain that you will not ask for sex if she will simply show affection. (We realize this is not ideal, but it’s an improvement.) Women often don’t realize how much men need a physical touch to feel loved.

Dear Annie: Many years ago, I was in the same position as “Busy Mom,” with five children, farm chores and a huge garden. My house looked lived-in, to say the least. One day, my wonderful aunt said to me, “Don’t worry, Marg. It’s clean dirt.” Bless her heart. — Manitoba, Canada

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
1st release for birds with mysterious goo a success

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Real estate occupancy continues to climb

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
 
Council backs beer, wine sales for Vacaville store

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

Vacaville police seek help to find sex offender

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3, 5 Comments | Gallery

 
Sweep by sheriff’s team nets 4 arrests

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3, 6 Comments

 
 
Travis starts work on Functional Fitness Center

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

 
Boy Scouts to screen award-winning film

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

 
Church makes ready for health, wellness fair

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

4-H Annual Presentation Day returns in February

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Vacaville SWAT team serves search warrant

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

Fairfield police log: Jan. 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

 
Suisun City police log: Jan. 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10, 2 Comments

.

US / World

 
Air Force probing alleged ‘treason’ remark by general

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Expect tiny tuxes but no real puppy love at doggy weddings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Large salmon release planned

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Violations mount for toxic recycler

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Quake rattles N. California coast

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Second arrest in student stabbing

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Marshals track down missing treasure hunter

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

‘Drunk’ excuse falls flat in Vandy rape trial

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Attorney General nominee defends Obama immigration changes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

Police seek law to alter Google app

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
Hezbollah missiles kill soldiers

By New York Times | From Page: A6

ISIS extends hostage deadline

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Euro coast guards scramble to locate Syrian ghost ship

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Chinese regulators go after online sale of fake goods

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Investigation stems from police-involved shooting outbreak

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Tape: Scientist offers to build nuke bomb targeting New York

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
.

Opinion

India now has 322 billion reasons to fix economy

By William Pesek | From Page: A7

 
Don’t brush off bullying

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A7, 3 Comments

Editorial Cartoon: Jan. 29, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Just be honest and come forward

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

 
A truly misinformed writer

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A7, 37 Comments

.

Living

Community Calendar: Jan. 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Jan. 29, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Deadbeat boyfriend ruined my relationship with my granddaughter

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

 
Horoscope Jan. 29, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Theater legend Joel Grey reveals that he is gay

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5, 2 Comments

Super Bowl advertisers aim not to offend

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

Kings center DeMarcus Cousins hoping to make All-Star team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Rodriguez wrestlers pull out 34-24 win over Wood

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Solano men cruise past LMC for biggest win of season

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

NFL players who started young show more thinking problems

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
GM John Schneider has been architect of Seahawks’ success

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Patriots not dwelling on last Super Bowl loss in Arizona

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Woods returns to Phoenix with plenty of memories

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Tony Stewart acquires national sprint car series tour

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Head of NCAA enforcement: Academic misconduct on rise

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Chicago Cubs’ Ernie Banks statue moved downtown for tribute

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Kobe Bryant has surgery, expected to be out for 9 months

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Korda, Lewis, Munoz tied for lead at LPGA season opener

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
This date in sports history for Jan. 29, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9