Sunday, April 19, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Nietzsche was wrong; trauma lingers

By
From page A2 | August 06, 2014 |

It was Nietzsche who said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” But in reality, something that does not kill us can leave us seriously traumatized. When you go through a life-shattering experience, a very scary or tragic event, it can leave you with serious depression or anxiety issues – or even post-traumatic stress disorder.

When you go through a horrific experience, you don’t always come out of it fully intact. And I’m not talking about a trip to the dentist. What if you lost your job, ended a relationship, and had to move because you couldn’t afford your house anymore? Victims of violent crimes can have lingering trauma related to the original assault. A serious accident may leave you mentally as well as physically challenged.

The condition known as PTSD has gotten a lot of attention since 9-11 and the wars that followed in its aftermath. Mostly, this disorder is used to describe what happens to soldiers returning from the battlefield or to first responders who’ve had to deal with a tragic rescue operation, but the truth is that a bad divorce can cause similar symptoms, and so can the loss of a loved one.

If you have gone through a traumatic experience, both your body chemistry and the way you look at life will be different. You will not see people, places, and things the way you did before. You may find it very difficult to take in anything positive and enjoy your life and family.

Healing from trauma takes time. You need to learn to be gentle with yourself and with your loved ones. They also need to learn to adapt to how you are dealing with the world. One of the best things you can do is to sit down with the people you care for and talk about how you feel and about what everyone can do to make life better for everyone concerned.

When I was young, I was a passenger in a horrible car accident where everyone was killed except for me, including my friend’s 12-year-old daughter. The memory still lingers, and the thoughts of it still make me shake and want to cry. This is something I will never get over, but I have learned to live with it over the past few decades. And through this healing process, of learning to cope and trying to make some sense from a trauma or tragedy, you will get better over time.

When something has affected you so drastically, you need counseling and emotional support. You may also need medication. Do not try to ignore your feelings. Denial won’t help you or anyone around you. What you need to do is admit that you aren’t the same person. Then you can begin to look for ways to make your life whole again. Getting help wherever you can find it has to become part of your lifestyle for awhile.

Once you are back on your feet, life will still be different, but one of the gifts that healing from trauma can give you is a new outlook, so that many of the little things that used to bug you or even make you mad won’t be as important anymore. What you will do then, instead of wasting emotional energy on trivia, is find new ways to increase your inner peace and add harmony to the world around you.

Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, is the author of “The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time.” Follow his daily insights on Twitter at @BartonGoldsmith, or email him at [email protected].

Barton Goldsmith

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Waiting game: Woman, toddler hope for kidney transplants

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: C1 | Gallery

 
Tiny twins call Heather House their 1st home

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

Solano ranks last in Bay Area for health

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
SID to consider water rate hikes

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1

California water saving mandate shrinks cuts for some cities

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: A1

 
Who is the Bay Area’s most popular athlete?

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2

 
City announces Browns Valley Road closures

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3

Healthier Living program begins mid-May

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

 
Bachelor party turns into community event

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Il Fiorello serves up chocolate desserts

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
When to throw in the towel on sickly plants

By Karen Metz | From Page: C4

Coping with seasonal allergies

By Emerita Brigino-Buenaventura, M.d | From Page: C4

 
Solano superhero back in school

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

Church hosts health, wellness fair

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Home, garden show offers something for everyone

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A6 | Gallery

Weather for Sunday, April 19, 2015

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B6

 
2 nations at center of market drop

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: B7

Vanden robotics team ready to compete in world championships

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
Fairfield hotel gets major renovation

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Teen victim of Dixon shooting dies

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A7

Land use, design, project synergy key to growth

By Brian Miller and Karl Dumas | From Page: B7

 
Fairfield police log: April 17, 2015

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

Suisun City police log: April 17, 2015

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

 
Commissary-Exchange pairing gains steam

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B10

Airmen with county ties complete training

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B10

 
.

US / World

San Francisco marks anniversary of 1906 earthquake

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Time plus distance help some Oklahoma City victims move on

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Police: Officers kill man who charged at them near St. Louis

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Scarlett O’Hara outfit fetches $137,000 at auction

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Turin Shroud goes back on display for faithful and curious

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Caged puppies on car roof trigger dozens of 911 calls

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

French replica of revolutionary frigate sets sail for Boston

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Islamic State blamed for Afghan suicide bombing killing 35

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

Transportation projects should benefit all drivers

By Brian Thiemer | From Page: A8

 
Justice not served

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

Clinton should spruce up a bit

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Brown support of ag water ruffles feathers

By Dan Walters | From Page: A8

 
Sound off for April 19, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

Talk about corruption

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: April 19, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in history: Sunday, April 19, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Is it possible for Methodists to agree to disagree on gay marriage?

By The Washington Post | From Page: C3 | Gallery

 
Vatican unexpectedly ends crackdown of US nun group

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

Horoscopes: April 19, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: C4

 
Wife needs to decide if she can tolerate husband’s binge drinking

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: C4

.

Entertainment

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
Anna Kendrick has book of essays coming out in 2016

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

Phil Klay, Leslie Jamison among PEN award nominees

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
.

Sports

Crawford, Heston lead Giants to win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Curry scores 34, Warriors beat Pelicans 106-99 in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Reddick’s 3-run homer sends A’s to 5-0 victory over Royals

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Cal defense shines for a change at scripted spring game

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Serena Williams gets a rare test from Giorgi but holds on

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Tom Watson: Next Masters might be his last

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Free agent center Wisniewski signs 1-year deal with Jaguars

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Pete Rose hired by Fox as special guest studio analyst

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Marcotte, Ryan win US cycling Criterium championships

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Independent league experiments with 3-ball walks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Merritt maintains edge through 3 rounds at RBC Heritage

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Jones throws 2 TDs, wins challenge at Ohio State spring game

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
As Spurs know, international players can impact NBA playoffs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Rose scores 23, Bulls beat Bucks 103-91

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Harden has 24 points, Rockets beat Mavs 118-108 in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Pierce leads Wizards past Raptors in OT in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Hometown report: Little League baseball

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B4

Hometown report: Youth track

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B4

 
Kenseth content in car and not contemplating retirement

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

Logano leads flag-to-flag to win Xfinity race at Bristol

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
This date in sports history for April 19

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
.

Business

Using a prepaid card? Avoid getting socked with fees

By The Washington Post | From Page: B7

 
Recalls this week: blowers, bike hooks, mattresses, toys

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

This year’s fight for the tech industry: Patent trolls

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
IMS: US prescription drug spending jumped 13 percent in 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

Fast-growing Asian aviation confronts safety challenges

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9 | Gallery

 
USDA veterinarian: Bird flu outbreak could be ‘devastating’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12

 
.

Obituaries

Carole Anspach

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Frances Bayona Lozano

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Robert Larkin

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Barbara Medders

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Carrol “Carl” Gordon Parker

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
John Thompson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Allen Ellsworth Dolby Sr.

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Sterling Jenkins

By Nancy Green | From Page: A5

Dennis Burkhart von Ting

By Nancy Green | From Page: A5

 
.

Comics