Sunday, September 21, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My wife has an inappropriate relationship with another couple – especially the husband

Dear Annie: A couple of years ago, you published my letter signed “No-Win Situation in Wisconsin.” My wife and I had been sharing a vacation with another couple, and I witnessed the husband kiss my wife on the lips as they left. You said if I trust my wife, not to worry about it.

After you printed my letter, I wrote this couple a half-sincere “take the high road” letter, admitting I could have been wrong about interpreting that kiss and invited them to come for dinner and stay over. They never replied. But a month later, they drove into town and met my wife for lunch while I was at work. The husband asked my wife whether I felt “neglected.” How smug is that?

A couple of weeks later, my wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary at a lovely vacation spot, and a week later, she stayed overnight at this couple’s home while visiting a mutual friend who was ill.

I am getting the distinct message that I am the one with the problem, and therefore, I can be completely bypassed when she makes decisions involving this couple. While I do not feel it would be right to ask my wife to close the door on this friendship, that last visit had me losing sleep. I wrote my wife a letter about my feelings, and even though I realize their relationship could be nothing, it still upsets me.

Now that this husband has retired, I fear the pace will quicken in his efforts to put our friendship back where it was, but whatever my insecurities and shortcomings, I get angry just thinking about it. Am I making sense or just going bananas? — More Maine Madness

Dear Maine: We doubt anything untoward is going on, but your wife is deliberately disregarding your feelings. She thinks you are being foolish, and so she ignores you. This makes you feel marginalized and angry. Please stop writing letters and simply talk to your wife. Tell her gently that seeing this couple behind your back only makes you distrust her, and that eats away at the core of your marriage. Tell her you will back off if she will be more respectful of your feelings.

Dear Annie: My wonderful husband delivers oil to people’s homes and works hard keeping homes toasty and warm throughout the winter. It is a demanding job, but for the most part, he enjoys it.

The problem is, some customers don’t plow or shovel paths to their tanks. Their driveways are cleared and the paths to their bird feeders, but my husband has to pull a heavy hose through knee-deep snow to reach the tanks.

By the time he gets home, he is soaked up to his thighs, cold and exhausted. This is enough to make anyone cranky. He sure would appreciate it if people could make his job easier by shoveling a path to their tank. — Please Be Kind

Dear Please: Thank you for reminding our readers that any service people who need to have access to outside areas of their homes should not get lost in a snowdrift because the path isn’t plowed. This is not only for the person who delivers oil. It’s also the postal carrier, the meter reader and the cable repairman. If you know someone is coming, please see that they can get there.

Dear Annie: I totally agree with “I Need Nice Clothes, Too.” The bigger sizes are tucked into the furthest corner of the store, the selection is small, the styles are horrendous, the sleeves are too tight and the tops are too short.

My other complaint is that the large-size models don’t look like me. They are tall with flat stomachs. I am 5 feet 4 and the grandmother of four. There are a lot of older, mature women with money to spend, so I hope the manufacturers start listening. — Inverness, Fla.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Hartley House offers look into Vacaville’s past

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: C1 | Gallery

 
County makes recommendations for crude-by-rail

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1 | Gallery

New toilet paper sizes will wipe me out!

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2

 
Travis teachers bring creativity to Shakespeare

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A3

Olympians to participate in swim Lap-a-Thon

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
Circle of Friends director to speak in Fairfield

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

Coastal Cleanup helps get rid of trash in area

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Be alert to stroke warning signs

By Marilyn Ranson | From Page: C4

Recovery community works for lifelong sobriety

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Musical merry-go-round at Jazz Festival

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Deadline looms for lobster boil tickets

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5

 
2 die after car slams into tree on Nut Tree Road

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5

Crashes blocks parts of eastbound I-80 in Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5

 
BABA makes big spash

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: B7

Seven Artisans opens tasting room

By Barry Eberling | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Old Kmart site sees signs of new life

By Brian Miller and Karl Dumas | From Page: B8 | Gallery

Veterans with PTSD could see discharge upgrades

By Tom Philpott | From Page: B10

 
Airmen with local ties finish basic training

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B10

Fairfield police log: Sept. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Sept. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Potential push for Obama to expand military effort

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Teams assess damage as California wildfire burns

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

McInerney, Duka help Impact beat Earthquakes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Old pets, new chances: The case for senior adoption

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: C4

Retro-hip barber is growing an ‘empire’ by staying on the cutting edge

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: C6

 
Jailed, some mentally ill inmates land in lockdown

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Custer youngest winner at 16 in NASCAR series

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
Tense hunt in trooper ambush case hits 8 days

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Tour ship runs aground by NYC’s Statue of Liberty

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
More than 1K people search for missing UVa student

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Second man arrested trying to enter White House

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Pope chooses a moderate for Chicago archbishop

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Astronauts getting 3-D printer at space station

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
Chrysler recalling nearly 189,000 SUVs

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Fire captain injured in ice bucket challenge dies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
NATO chief: Ukraine has cease-fire ‘in name only’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Kurdish fighters head to Syria to face militants

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Turkish hostages freed, but questions linger

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Sierra Leone staggers in Ebola isolation effort

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
El-Sissi ready to back anti-IS fight

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11 | Gallery

Polly Bergen, versatile actress, singer dies at 84

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
.

Opinion

New car’s fuel mileage accuracy put to the test

By Glen Faison | From Page: A8

 
Stores miss bus on public transit

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Sunset Animal Hospital is the best

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

Sound off for Sept. 21, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
Pulse poll: Will the drought end this year?

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

Obamacare enrollees actually paying premiums

By Megan Mcardle | From Page: A9

 
Will they ever get the message?

By Rod Keck | From Page: A9

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Sept. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Sept. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

St. Paul pastor’s pulpit? A food truck

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3 | Gallery

 
There is no message of hatred of violence in Christianity

By The Rev. Rick L. Stonestreet | From Page: C3, 2 Comments

Horoscopes: Sept. 21, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: C4

 
My child’s father and I worked things out – but now I’m not so sure

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: C4

.

Entertainment

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
Author says Christian novel plagiarized, sex added

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2 | Gallery

Springsteen picture book out in November

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
Erdrich wins lifetime achievement literary prize

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

Designer Donna Karan memoir expected next year

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B11

.

Sports

Prep boys soccer preview: Indians, Vikings off to fast start

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Patriots big favorites vs. Raiders despite mediocre start

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Williams beats A’s for third time with third team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Cardinals look to shake off distraction vs. 49ers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Cashner, Padres beat Giants 3-2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
No. 1 Florida St survives against No. 22 Clemson

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Sprint car driver killed in Wisconsin

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Vacaville Christian volleyball team falls in playoffs

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B3

Schumacher, Hagan win rain-delayed Carolina event

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
College football Top 25

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Travis Bowl results

By Daily Republic | From Page: B4

 
Mi Jung Hur, Paula Reto share lead in Alabama

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

Stars Recreation results

By Daily Republic | From Page: B4

 
Estimated 7,000 fans trade in Ray Rice jerseys

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

This date in sports history for Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Sports on TV for Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B5

Gaughan snatches Nationwide win at Kentucky

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
Harvick dismisses wins as key to Cup title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

.

Business

Extended warranties a big sell. Are they worth it?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Recalls this week: fire alarm bases, swings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

US tobacco growers brace for tougher competition

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12 | Gallery

 
Marijuana industry battling stoner stereotypes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

George Junior Rhode

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics