Sunday, March 29, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My uncle’s behavior makes me worry about my younger female relatives

By
From page B5 | February 19, 2013 |

Dear Annie: Several years ago, I stayed with my aunt and uncle for a week. My aunt sent me down to the basement to tell my uncle to come upstairs for dinner. When I turned the corner, I caught him pulling up his pants in front of the computer screen. He asked me not to tell my aunt, and I didn’t.

During my time there, he did several other things that made me uncomfortable. He asked me personal questions about women’s bodies, and one time when I was alone with him, he hugged me from behind, pushing himself against me. Eventually, I told my parents about it. Although they believed me, I don’t think they ever said anything to my aunt and uncle. So I made my own rules about how close to get to him when we visited.

The reason I’m writing is because I have two younger sisters, both teenagers, and I have noticed my uncle looking at them when we visit. Even more troubling, my uncle has two young granddaughters who visit on a regular basis. While I don’t like to think he’d do anything to them, my aunt and uncle often babysit for the girls, so he has regular opportunities to be alone with them.

The situation worries me, but I don’t know what to do. I’m pretty sure neither my aunt nor my adult cousins have any idea what’s going on. My parents aren’t eager to create a rift, and the grandkids really love their grandpa. But I would feel awful if I later learned he had abused these kids.

If my parents don’t address the situation, should I tell my aunt? My cousins? — Don’t Want It To Happen Again

Dear Don’t Want: That hug from behind was a type of molestation. Your uncle isn’t likely to change his behavior on his own, so it is important that the relatives be informed and the younger children protected. Tell your parents that if they are unwilling to handle this, you will talk to your sisters and adult cousins. Your cousins may not believe that their father would harm their kids, and they may be angry with you, but they should know nonetheless.

Dear Annie: Like “Worried and Confused in Calif.,” I am also turned off by a dear friend who allows her dog to eat off of her plates and slurp from the same glass. If it were only in her own home, it wouldn’t bother me too much. But “Beth” brings her dog to my house and does the same thing. It is very annoying.

Beth is wonderfully generous, kind and ethical. I cannot think of a way to tell her without hurting her. Do you have any suggestions? — Love the Friend and Her Dog, But

Dear But: You have already given Beth the impression that you don’t mind, so it will require telling her directly that she either not bring her dog, or not allow the dog to lick the plates. You can be gentle about it, saying you’ve become more concerned about germs lately and would prefer that the dog eat from a dish you’ve supplied for him instead of off of her plate. You might have to remind her a few times, but if she’s as generous, kind and ethical as you say, she will comply.

Dear Annie: You often recommend grief counseling for readers whose loved ones have died, and you say to check with their local hospital.

I’d like to suggest an alternative. Not all hospitals offer grief counseling, except in the immediate aftermath of a death. But hospices throughout the country offer bereavement support, and the vast majority of them serve the entire community, often at no cost.

Please encourage anyone who is grieving to explore what is offered in their community through local hospices. — Loyal Reader

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Vanden High library project nears completion

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Vanden girls end stellar season

By Brian Arnold | From Page: C1 | Gallery

Cheers for Jupiter – and roller derby

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2

 
Vacaville police make arrest after pursuit

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Red Cross volunteers help assemble first aid kits

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
PG&E helps replace stolen equipment

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3

Justin-Siena names new principal

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3

 
Free paper shredding option returns to Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Vacaville bridal, quinceanera show a hit

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5

Event benefits child who attends Cambridge School

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Best barometer of investment success: Wealth

By Mark Sievers | From Page: B8

Hike in minimum wage cuts deep into businesses

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: B8

 
Tips on hydrozoning your garden

By Tina Saravia | From Page: B8, 1 Comment

 
Fairfield police log: March 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: March 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Gang chief, international fugitive among dozens paroled

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Experts: Sex bias case will embolden women despite verdict

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Crash victim’s father calls for more focus on pilot welfare

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Man rescued after falling 200 feet off California sea cliff

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Popular Yosemite National Park lookout opens early in season

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
Bird flu found in a top Minnesota turkey producing county

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Some British Airways frequent flier accounts miles breached

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

7 shot and injured at Florida spring break house party

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Boko Haram kills 39, legislator, disrupting Nigeria election

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Official: Al-Shabab siege at Somali hotel ends, 24 dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Hundreds rally against Indiana law, say it’s discriminatory

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Islamic fighters led by al-Qaida in Syria seize major city

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
.

Opinion

Thanks for making prom dreams come true

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Free speech a right worth protecting

By Dan Walters | From Page: A8

Liberty, property rights 2 sides of same coin

By Brian Thiemer | From Page: A8

 
Sound Off: March 29, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
.

Living

Today in History: March 29, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: March 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Pope finds popularity and dissent at 2-year mark

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

 
Truth does not change

By The Rev. Art Zacher | From Page: C3

Horoscopes: March 29, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B8

 
Daughter choses stepdad over father to walk her down the aisle

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B8

.

Entertainment

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Second Julie Andrews memoir expected in 2017

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Chrissie Hynde memoir coming in September

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

.

Sports

 
Warriors beat Bucks 108-95, clinch top seed in West

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Wisconsin heads to Final Four after 85-78 win over Arizona

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Burns scores winner in SO to lift Sharks past Flyers, 3-2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Power leads Penske sweep in qualifying for IndyCar opener

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Revolution win first of season, beating Earthquakes 2-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Jenest pitches SCC baseball team to shutout of Contra Costa

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

AP sources: Texas fires coach Barnes after 17 years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Kazmir, Quintana both strong; A’s beat White Sox 10-4

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Zunino homers twice, but Giants rally to edge Mariners 9-8

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Gordon, Earnhardt among the winners and fans of Martinsville

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Prince Bishop wins Dubai World Cup, California Chrome 2nd

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Serena Williams easily wins opening match at Miami Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Jimmy Walker leads hometown Texas Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
.

Business

A glance at women in leadership roles in business worldwide

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
For business, more women in charge means bigger profits

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

US drillers scrambling to thwart OPEC threat

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Test trial to use computer servers to heat homes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B14

.

Obituaries

Robert Roberts

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Janice Jewel Thompson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Betty Mason

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Tiffany Lyn (Helzer) Kemp

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Richard F. Coleman

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
James Lee Lewis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Helen Kalis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Carol A. Vose

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics