Thursday, October 23, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My sister questions the host when someone is left off the guest list

Dear Annie: I am having a disagreement with my sister. She gets very upset when she is not invited to a party or other event. She believes she has the right to question the host’s motives for creating the guest list.

My sister claims she is justified in doing this because it would avoid the hurt feelings of someone being left off of the guest list by mistake. When she phones the host to ask questions, she says, “Perhaps you inadvertently left me off of the guest list because you don’t have my correct address.”

She says that when a close friend or relative is not invited to something, the host should contact those people to explain why not.

I say it’s rude to question the host. Sometimes the reason is financial, which would be embarrassing to explain. The people giving the party have no obligation to defend their guest list. I think if someone is not invited but wants to participate, she can send a card with congratulations or something. What do you think? — Invited/Not Invited

Dear Invited: People are left off of a guest list for any number of reasons, including the fact that they may not want to invite you. It’s ridiculous to expect hosts to phone everyone they know to tell them why they are NOT being invited. By demanding an explanation under the guise of “preventing hurt feelings,” your sister forces the hosts to include her whether they want to or not, which is undoubtedly her intention. Tell her to knock it off.

Anyone who truly believes she may have been left off by mistake can ask a mutual friend or relative to investigate. She also could call and say, “I heard your daughter became engaged, and I just want to offer my best wishes.” Period. If there is an invitation missing, they will let her know. No explanation is required.

Dear Annie: I would like to comment on those who complain about how the media tell us we’re supposed to look: buff, thin, blemish-free, etc. I understand that these portrayals can lower one’s self-esteem. But the constant talk about it doesn’t help.

Kids hear that so many people are self-conscious about their bodies, and it affects them. They can’t develop their own opinions about how they should look. I am a 25-year-old woman and have somehow learned to appreciate my body the way it is: average. I see myself as beautiful, no matter what others may think. If people are happy with their looks, no matter what they are, we should leave them alone. This teaches us self-respect. — Loving My Average Body

Dear Loving: We agree that people are overly focused on their looks, partly because the media promote unattainable “perfection,” and the rest of us can’t help but absorb the message. Overweight or awkward kids are often bullied because of their appearance. Parents should teach their children to make healthy choices, but it is difficult to ignore all of the social messages that surround us. It takes a wise upbringing and a certain strength of character to be convinced that how you look is just fine, which, of course, is the truth. Good for you.

Dear Annie: You gave a great answer to “Spinning the Wheel in Pennsylvania,” whose wife and daughter want to hold back the granddaughter so she will be in the same class as her less academically advanced cousin.

I have several children and grandchildren, and I work for a school district. I have seen firsthand the damage that can be done to a child either by holding them back or pushing them ahead before they are ready. The only one to decide what the children will do is their parents. Aunts, uncles and grandparents should stay out of it. That boy will bloom with age. — Seen What Happens in California

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Children run for the sake of running

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Suisun City streets: Better than Vallejo, worse than Dixon

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
60th Air Mobility Wing gets outstanding unit award

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

Real McCoy ferry to shut down Thursday

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

 
Nairobi, oldest giraffe at Six Flags, dies

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Day of Remembrance focuses on domestic violence prevention

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
 
Audubon group to offer wetlands walk, bird workshop

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A4

 
 
Trailer rolls, knocks down pole, damages roadway

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A4

 
Bridge to Life gets extension for temporary kitchen

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A5

Pumpkin bob set at Fairfield city pool

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A5

 
Fairfield police log: Oct. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Oct. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
.

US / World

Canada’s PM says shooting rampage was terrorism

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Davis votes to return armored vehicle

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Study looks at lane splitting in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
125 San Francisco inmates to get computer tablets

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

California malpractice cap generates big spending

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Huge gold nugget going up for sale in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Healdsburg bans tobacco sales to anyone under 21

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
AP-GfK Poll: Public wants tighter Ebola screening

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Key features of rigorous new US Ebola monitoring

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Goofy dinosaur blends Barney and Jar Jar Binks

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Social Security benefits get another tiny increase

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
US to track everyone coming from Ebola nations

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Teens’ travel renews concerns about terror appeal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Blackwater guards found guilty in Iraq shootings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Methodist panel hears appeal over gay wedding

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Analysis: Fowle was North Korea’s easiest US case

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

UK man faked coma for 2 years to avoid court

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Missile, fire from Egypt wounds 2 Israeli troops

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Mexico: Mayor linked to deadly attack on students

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Nigeria truce is shaky, no news of abducted girls

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Iraqi Kurdish lawmakers OK fighters for Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Prisons agree to end race policy

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

 
Don’t make this mistake after voting

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A11

Editorial Cartoons: Oct. 23, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
Living a Democrat PC nightmare

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

Real reason to vote yes on 46

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11

 
Keck did good job researching issue

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11

.

Living

Today in History: Oct. 23, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Oct. 23, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Horoscopes: Oct. 23, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

My husband visits dating sites, stays out until 3 or 4 a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

 
.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
‘SNL’ adds black woman to cast from writers room

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

NBC promoting Weir, Lipinski to top skating team

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Annie Lennox embraces jazzy ‘Nostalgia’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Renee Zellweger: ‘People don’t know me in my 40s’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Sax player behind ‘Baker Street’ solo dies at 60

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

.

Sports

AP source: Goodell told to testify in Rice appeal

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Kings measuring success on ‘wins and losses’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Giants’ bullpen melts down in 7-2 loss to Royals

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Warriors hoping Kerr is final piece for title run

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Local Report: Armijo XC teams finish MEL 10-0

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

 
Carr confident despite Raiders’ winless start

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Phony World Series tickets, merchandise seized

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Request denied to remove judge on Peterson case

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Probe: UNC academic fraud was ‘shadow curriculum’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
World Series rating for opener drops to low

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Beaten Giants fan shows significant progress

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Polian, Wolf nominated for Pro Football Hall of Fame

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Slumping Bears hope to slow No. 6 Oregon, Mariota

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Stanford picked to win Pac-12 regular-season crown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

NBA owners fail to pass lottery reform

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Leafs-Senators game postponed after shootings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Brad Keselowski not concerned with popularity

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
SHR swaps crews for Danica Patrick and Kurt Busch

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

From Mexico to the World Series, Petit Giants’ shines

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
’85 World Series Royals relishing playoff run

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
This date in sports history for Thursday, Oct. 23, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

.

Business

FedEx, UPS make plans for a better holiday season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
The top 20 US cities for tech startup funding

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

‘Silicon Beach’ brings tech boom to Los Angeles

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Government ups air bag warning to 7.8M vehicles

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Camel maker Reynolds snuffs out workplace smoking

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
BofA to refund Apple Pay customers charged twice

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Google unveils app for managing Gmail inboxes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
.

Obituaries

Dr. Robert M. Takamoto

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Mark Dean Lindsay

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Keith Bowen

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Blanche Stevens

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9