Friday, March 6, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My mother-in-law is a nightmare, so I don’t

Dear Annie: I’m a divorced woman who was married to a self-centered man for 30 years. He often told me that if I thought there was something better out there to not let the door hit me on the way out. I finally took him up on it, and it turned out to be the best advice he ever gave me.

For the past three years, I’ve been dating “Ted,” also divorced. He is smart and successful, and we are perfect together in every way. Here is the problem: Ted is not ready to marry. He told me his marriage ended because there was no passion. He fears if we live together, the physical attraction we feel for each other will die.

Ted and I spend weekends together and travel often, but then he goes home to his house. I don’t want to live alone for the rest of my life. But if Ted isn’t ready after three years, I doubt he ever will be. His reluctance hurts me deeply and brings back all those feelings of unworthiness from my marriage. Is it time for me to walk? — Thought I’d Found the One

Dear Thought: Ted may be skittish about commitment, but that is his issue, and he is making it yours. Some women are perfectly content with a no-strings relationship with someone they find compatible. But if you are looking for marriage, you will have to set Ted free and look elsewhere. We realize you have put a lot of effort, energy and emotion into this relationship, but if the end result makes you unhappy and anxious, Ted is not the right person for you.

Dear Annie: I must reply to all the mothers-in-law who write to you and can’t understand why they are treated so unfairly by their daughters-in-law. My mother-in-law has been incredibly mean to me from the first time I met her. She deliberately does not include me in many of the family functions. She promises my children outings and never follows through. She and her daughter have been the nightmares of my life.

This has gone on for years now, and I would rather not have any contact with them. My husband feels I should “be the better person” and just ignore their behavior. But, Annie, I can only do this for so long before the better course is to simply walk away. — The Other Side of the Story

Dear Other Side: Has your husband stood up for you with his family? Does he say, “My wife must be invited to these family functions, or I will not attend”? Does he tell his mother that the children no longer believe her promises and it hurts her relationship with them? If he thinks sweeping Mom’s behavior under the rug will make things better, he is mistaken. It is cowardly. Mom will learn to respect you as a member of her family if her son makes it clear to her that this is not optional and there are clear consequences. We cannot guarantee that she will change her tune, but we can absolutely assure you that if your husband does not do these things, nothing will ever improve and you are right to limit contact.

Dear Annie: “Tired of Doing All the Holiday Planning” said she is going to stop hosting family holiday dinners because no one helps her clean up.

In our home and those of our friends, the cook does not clean up. Everyone else does. “Tired” should tell her kids and grandkids to clear, wash, dry and put the dishes away. If Dad is in the picture, he should pitch in, too.

Some of my fondest times involve the camaraderie when my buddies and I clean up after one of our wives’ meals. (We are lousy cooks.) Guys need to get with the program and show their wives they appreciate the effort of putting the meal together. — Helpful Husband

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
Random thoughts on getting older by Annabelle . . . and Susan

By Susan Winlow | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Work progresses on freeway interchange project

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Solano College grad becomes Marvel superhero

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Caltrans announces planned I-80 closures

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1

 
French guitarist brings world music to The Palms

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Bay Area Stage readies ‘Mockingbird’ production

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Let’s take a 2nd look at 1st cars

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
Bike to School Day poster contest begins

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

 
Free 8-week Journey Through Grief class set

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A4

 
Audubon Society to hold talk on blackbird decline

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4

Youth talent, scholarship awards dinner set

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A4

 
Fairfield police log: March 4, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: March 4, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
.

US / World

Covered California down overall but up among youth, minorities

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
SF hospital performs rare chain kidney swap

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

El niño might not be enough to help Ca drought

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
App developers take a swing at playgrounds

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Freight train carrying crude oil derails in Illinois

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Supreme Court allows for compassionate release

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Off-duty officer accidentally shoots relative

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
Student protests block access to campus

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

GOP legislator enters race for Boxer’s seat

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Japanese tsunami debris washing ashore

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Device in ‘Superbug’ outbreak not approved by FDA

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
States on edge about the future of health insurance markets

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Air Force veteran who saved orphans in Korean War dies at 97

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6 | Gallery

 
Hillary Clinton email trove under review for release

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Homeowners group denies playhouse for cancer-stricken girl

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Report: Suicides by girls and young women continue to climb

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Jurors in Jodi Arias case: We were 11-1 for death penalty

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Experts: Ferguson must move quickly to rebuild public trust

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Plane skids off LaGuardia runway, slams into fence near bay

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
Father tells jury about boy’s death at Boston Marathon

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Floods kill 42 people in Tanzania, authorities say

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Death toll in east Ukraine mine blast reaches 33

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Syria says it killed military leader of al-Qaida group

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Iraq says Islamic State militants ‘bulldozed’ ancient site

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Attack on US envoy part of S.Korea’s violent protest history

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
Last Ebola patient is released in Liberia

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Companies form coalition to conserve during drought

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
.

Living

Today in History: March 6, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: March 6, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: March 6, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
Should I tell my coworker that her romantic emails are being read at work?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Week in preview March 6-12, 2015

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Jaime Camil shines as telenovela star on ‘Jane the Virgin’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Shania Twain to launch final tour in June

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Elizabeth McCracken wins $20,000 short story prize

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Dying wish comes true: Dutch woman with ALS sees Rembrandts

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Announcer Craig Sager returns from leukemia to NBA sideline

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Comedy Central’s ‘Too Many Stars’ means plenty of laughs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Review: ‘Unfinished Business’ should never have started

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Review: ‘Second Best’ Marigold Hotel lives up to its title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Entertainment calendar: March 6, 2015

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B4

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic | From Page: B6

.

Sports

 
Maddon makes debut with Cubs in spring tie with A’s

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Hunter Pence breaks arm in Giants’ 8-6 win over Cubs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
 
Jones-Drew retires, Woodley released by Raiders

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Veteran defensive tackle Dockett joins 49ers on 2-year deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Ashley, McConnell lead No. 5 Arizona to 99-60 rout of Cal

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Holmes opens 4-shot PGA lead at Blue Monster

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Local Report: Labit pitches SCC to win over Folsom Lake

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B8

Prosecutors: No criminal charge for NASCAR driver Kurt Busch

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
As NFLPA election looms, Smith hopes to keep ‘boring job’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

This date in sports history for March 6, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
.

Business

Toyota rolls out first mass-market cars to run on hydrogen fuel cells

By The Washington Post | From Page: C1 | Gallery

 
Can Etsy keep its folksy brand and make shareholders money?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Applications for US jobless aid inch up to a 10-month high

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
A robust US job market is expected to keep delivering

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Largest US banks all pass latest round of Fed ‘stress tests’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Ringling Bros. Circus to give up elephant acts in 3 years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11 | Gallery

Google providing car insurance quotes in latest expansion

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
.

Obituaries

Thelma A. Roche

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Michele Jarvis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Robert Charles Thierry

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9