Monday, January 26, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My inconsiderate in-laws didn’t respect our plans. Am I crazy?

Dear Annie: My husband’s family came to town for a week over the holidays. We made plans to be with them every evening except one. My parents were in the final stages of a job relocation and were leaving town that same weekend. We gave my family the one evening, Sunday, that was not delegated to my in-laws.

My husband’s parents asked us twice to go out to dinner with them and their friends on that same evening. We politely declined both times, explaining that we had plans. That Sunday morning, we found out that my in-laws had made dinner reservations for us anyway. Somehow, to my husband, this meant we had to reconsider our options. I thought it was extremely rude.

After several hours of arguing, my husband and I compromised by saying we would go to dinner with his parents, eat quickly and then spend the rest of the evening with my parents. Well, dinner was a disaster. One couple was an hour late, and my in-laws insisted on waiting for them. Then, my husband and I, along with his brother, were put at the “children’s” table with three kids under the age of 13. After we finally managed to leave, we ran to my parents’ house only to find everyone else had gone.

My husband considers this a successful outcome, but I do not. My family was deeply offended by my in-laws’ usurping our only evening together. Am I crazy to think he should have honored the original plans? — Still Angry

Dear Still: Your husband is wrong to think your plans should be changed because someone else rearranged them without your knowledge or permission. He obviously wanted to spend time with his family and not yours, which was unfair under the circumstances. When you agreed to attend his family’s dinner, you also should have set a time to leave and done so, regardless of where you were in the meal.

A better compromise would have been for him to have dinner with his folks while you spent the time with yours. While not ideal, it would have been better than anger, resentment and an argument. Now let it go. You’ll do better next time.

Dear Annie: My grandma died six months ago, and I miss her more than anything. Life just isn’t the same without her.

I’m only 13 years old, and this confuses me. I’m mad at God for taking my grandma from me. My friends say I haven’t been the same, that I’m gloomy and moody and have a short temper.

My sister shows hardly any emotion, but I can’t think about my grandma without crying. I feel like I’m taking too long in my grieving process. Am I? Do you have any suggestions? — Crying Granddaughter

Dear Crying: We are so sorry to hear about your grandma. Obviously, you were close to her and miss her terribly. There is no set timetable for grieving, and some people take longer than others. However, if you haven’t managed to move beyond your initial depressed state for six months, please ask your parents to make an appointment for you to see your doctor and a grief counselor, and perhaps discuss this with your clergyperson to understand how God could take your grandma from you. Talking to others who are trained to discuss your grief can help enormously.

Dear Annie: The 42-year-old lady who said she doesn’t have many friends and never could read body language well has classic symptoms of Asperger syndrome (recently renamed high-functioning autism).

My son wasn’t diagnosed until he was 17, and it has made a world of difference. He was always a bit quirky – a round peg in a square hole. Most people with Asperger’s are highly intelligent and dependable and find it difficult to lie because they see the world very literally. — HFA Mom

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Gunfire exchange on Orange Drive sends 1 to hospital

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1

 
Teen finds entrepreneurial path at young age

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Time for Relay for Life kickoff event

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
Suisun Senior Center offers monthly dance

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Hispanic chamber to host immigration workshop

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Wedding Faire offers one-stop browsing for couples

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Crab feed tradition continues this week

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Local government agencies post meeting times

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Fairfield schedules workshop on downtown plan

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
.

US / World

Fight over taxes looms between Democrats, Gov. Jerry Brown

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Millions of GMO insects could be released in Florida Keys

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Santa Ana winds knock out power to thousands in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Boy shot by Los Angeles deputies treated for graze wound

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

US gas prices fell 13 cents per gallon, but expected to rise

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
2 Marines identified in deadly California helicopter crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Boko Haram attacks northeastern Nigerian city, scores killed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Ukraine: Phone calls prove rebels attacked city, killed 30

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Zambia: Edgar Lungu sworn in as new president

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Greek radical left wins election, threatening market turmoil

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

‘Potentially historic’ storm headed for Northeast

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Balloon crew launches in bid to break 2 major records

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Obama: Counterterrorism operations in Yemen not affected

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Obama to seek wilderness designation for Alaska refuge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Navy wants to increase use of sonar-emitting buoys

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Zoo offers creepy way for lovelorn to get even with exes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
.

Opinion

Editorial Cartoon: Jan. 26, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Do elected officials get it?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Jan. 26, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Jan. 26, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Horoscope Jan. 27, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

 
Randall: Blind brother has always seen what mattered

By Sharon Randall | From Page: B5

My sister is jobless and homeless and I’m not sure how to help

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

 
Horoscope Jan. 26, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

.

Entertainment

Miss Colombia crowned Miss Universe in Miami

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
‘Birdman’ tops SAG Awards, Redmayne upsets Keaton

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Complete list of winners at 21st annual SAG Awards

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
.

Sports

Serena Williams to meet Cibulkova in Aussie Open quarters

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Watt gets 2 turnovers, dances in friendly Pro Bowl

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Tavares scores 4, Team Toews outscores Team Foligno, 17-12

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Curry leads Warriors to 19th straight home win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

The Week Ahead: Plenty of action close to home

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1

 
Family attorney: Cubs great Ernie Banks died of heart attack

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Bill Haas pulls away to win Humana Challenge

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Jeff Gordon to be Fox guest analyst during XFINITY season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Sherman doubts any punishment ahead for Patriots

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
AP Source: Browns WR Josh Gordon fails another drug test

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
AP Interview: Selig says MLB could expand internationally

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Coach K gets 1,000th win as No. 5 Duke tops St. John’s 77-68

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Quinn has led Seattle to record-setting defense

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Chip Ganassi Racing’s ‘star car’ wins Rolex 24 at Daytona

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
AP Explains: What makes the Super Bowl such a big deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Patriots’ Browner gets a 2nd chance at a Super Bowl ring

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Thomas Clark

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Don Johnson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 3 Comments

.

Comics

Rose is Rose Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Frank and Ernest Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Beetle Bailey Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Blondie Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Get Fuzzy Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Zits Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

B.C. Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Peanuts Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

For Better or Worse Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Dilbert Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Garfield Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baby Blues Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Pickles Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Sally Forth Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Baldo Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Wizard of Id Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Cryptoquote Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Bridge Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Crossword Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Word Sleuth Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Sudoku Jan 27

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Zits Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Wizard of Id Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Get Fuzzy Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Beetle Bailey Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Pickles Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Garfield Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
B.C. Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

For Better or Worse Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Peanuts Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Frank and Ernest Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Blondie Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Baldo Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Baby Blues Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Rose is Rose Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Sally Forth Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Dilbert Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Sudoku Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Cryptoquote Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Bridge Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Word Sleuth Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Crossword Jan 26

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7