Friday, August 29, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My husband’s children don’t like me and he doesn’t defend me

By
From page A7 | February 22, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for six years. He divorced his wife of 53 years because he fell in love with me and wanted the rest of his life to be happy. They had not shared a bedroom since the last of their kids was born.

”Ted” has always put his children before me. They dislike me because of “what I did to their mother.” Well, their father did it, not me. I pushed him away for more than a year before realizing how terrible his marriage was. (One of his kids told me.)

Ted repeatedly has lied to me about his children. He takes trips to visit them without me and doesn’t tell me he’s leaving until the day before he flies off. He makes all the arrangements behind my back. He once left me for a month and said he wanted a divorce because they told him he should get one.

Ted and I have talked about this, and he swears he will change, but he never does. Lately, his children have called me terrible names, and he never says a word in my defense. I have never done or said anything against these grown children.

I have never been a part of his family, and I guess I never will. At 78, you’d think he would appreciate having a loving wife and understand that his life is with me now.

I don’t expect him to stop seeing his kids, but he needs to put our marriage first. We tried marriage counseling twice, and each time he quit, saying the counselor was biased against him. Is there any hope? — Tired of Being Number Eight

Dear Tired: We don’t know what can be salvaged. If you backed off and told Ted he should see his kids on his own and you’ll stay out of their lives entirely, would he, in return, tell you of his plans and insist that his children treat you with respect? If the two of you can handle that, you may be able to stay together and enjoy the times that don’t involve the kids. But there are no guarantees. Sorry.

Dear Annie: I am a psychologist, and my husband is a psychiatrist. You give excellent advice, but there is one area where you could be more helpful.

When people seek low-cost mental health services, you often print a list of places where they might find help. Unfortunately, that list might not be useful in smaller, more rural areas. While we have several colleges, none have graduate departments that offer counseling. The YMCA and YWCA closed with the recession, and local churches offer pastoral counseling only to their own congregants.

The main low-cost mental health services offered in our community are through the county. This includes individual and family counseling, psychiatry and crisis intervention. We also have a 24-hour phone hotline to access emergency services. They can also direct people to an outpatient clinic at the local hospital. In addition, Mental Health America (formerly the Mental Health Association) offers referrals, classes and support groups. If people are seeking low-cost help, please recommend that they contact their local county government. — Karen J. Goodman, Ph.D., Poughkeepsie, N.Y.

Dear Dr. Goodman: Consider it done. We appreciate the information and will definitely add county services to the list.

Dear Annie: I think most families have at least one negative relative who puts a damper on holidays. My late mother-in-law hated the whole season and did her best to depress the rest of us. I’ll skip the details of what happened over the years.

She told me once that the reason she didn’t like Christmas was that she had never gotten what she wanted. I asked her what she wanted. She replied, “I don’t know.” — CT

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Vallejo Symphony launches new season Sept. 21

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Opponents: State water plan will destroy Delta

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1, 5 Comments | Gallery

New role for symphony conductor begins next year

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Prolific pears rule Courtland area

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

1 critical after 2 shot at Fairfield bus stop

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A1, 18 Comments | Gallery

 
Dare Devil Chaos Coaster set for Six Flags debut in 2015

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Vallejo festival will celebrate Wilderness Act anniversary

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Hood-Courtland: Small towns boast interesting facts

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1

 
Suisun police plan holiday weekend checkpoint

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 2 Comments

No plea as Vacaville homicide suspect appears in court

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3, 7 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Vacaville man convicted of fifth DUI

By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A3, 7 Comments

 
 
Solano continues to deal with earthquake

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
 
Bunting earns praise for role in paint case

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A5

Fairfield police log: Aug. 27, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A8

 
Suisun City police log: Aug. 27, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A8

Weather for Aug. 29, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B14

 
.

US / World

Mom won’t be charged in school confrontation

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
California Supreme Court pick confirmed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Assembly approves statewide ban on plastic bags

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
Feds to resume leasing for fracking in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

High school buddies followed similar path to jihad

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Drugs killed Oklahoma inmate in troubled execution

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

4 killed in New Mexico crash of medical flight

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
US rebukes Oklahoma for ditching school standards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Suit claims police brutality at Ferguson protests

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

 
Flight diverts to Boston over reclined-seat upset

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

Testimony wraps up in former Va. governor trial

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Q&A: Few laws govern children at shooting range

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Gun tourism grows in popularity in recent years

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Obama sets no timeline for action on immigration

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

Obama rules out US military action in Ukraine

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
UN Security Council meets on Ukraine crisis

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Russian columns enter Ukraine; leader urges calm

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
UN: Ebola disease caseload could reach 20,000

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

Attempt to call missing jet may alter search area

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

 
Europe seeks role in postwar Gaza

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

UN: Armed group detains 43 peacekeepers in Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
A look at the Islamic State militants in Syria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

Jihadists kill dozens of captured Syrian soldiers

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
.

Opinion

How about keeping our ISIS plan secret?

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11, 23 Comments

 
Question of the week: Is US policy on hostages correct?

By Daily Republic | From Page: A11

 
What should the US do about the Islamic State?

By Ben Boychuk and Joel Mathis | From Page: A11, 3 Comments

More ways to help stop bullies

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Aug. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Aug. 29, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

How do I deal with my overweight cousin who smells like cat urine?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B13, 1 Comment

 
Horoscopes: Aug. 29, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B13

.

Entertainment

Week in preview Aug. 29-Sept. 4

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Review: ‘As Above’ so-so

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Review: Ex-007 actor spying again in ‘Nov. Man’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Review: The case against binge-watching TV

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Entertainment calendar: Aug. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

 
Jolie, Pitt wed privately at chateau in France

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
.

Sports

Prep football preview: Rio Vista looks to get back to playoffs

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Angels rally in 10th for 4-3 win over Oakland

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Record-setting Petit leads Giants past Rockies 4-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Borland returns pick for TD, 49ers beat Texans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

Carr’s 3 TDs lead Raiders past Seahawks 41-31

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
USC coach accepts some blame in Shaw situation

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Williams overcomes 3 early double-faults to win at U.S. Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Mickelson in a bind with 4 straight playoff events

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Weakened US team aims for world basketball title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Rise in flags makes NFL defenders wary of contact

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

After Rice, NFL increases domestic violence bans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Local youngster will play baseball on national stage

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B9, 1 Comment | Gallery

Week Zero prep football capsules

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

 
Signups for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

Stewart returning to competition after fatal crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery

 
Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B11

This date in sports history for Friday, Aug. 29, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Power looks for elusive IndyCar title at Fontana

By The Associated Press | From Page: B14

.

Business

M235i revives classic BMW memories

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
US economy grew at brisk 4.2 pct. rate in Q2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Ukraine conflict weighs on markets; Retailers fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Abercrombie name to shrink from clothing

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

Survey: Americans’ pessimism on economy has grown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Apple to unveil next products at Sept. 9 event

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6, 1 Comment | Gallery

Average US 30-year mortgage rate at 4.1 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Obama touts revised economic growth numbers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

.

Obituaries

Lois C. Clark

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Frank W. Moy Jr.

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Gary Allen Person

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B13