Friday, October 31, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My grandparents adopted me, but my ‘uncles’ won’t treat me like a sister

Dear Annie: I am a 22-year-old adoptee. My grandparents raised me from 6 months old and officially adopted me when I was 10. They have three sons – my biological father and his two brothers. This is where the problem lies.

My “uncles” have never accepted that their parents are my parents. They never refer to me as their sister and frequently refer to my parents as my grandparents. Most of these things I ignore, but there is one thing I cannot. My parents are in their early 60s, and the subject of their death comes up often. Their sons have decided that when our parents die, I have no say in anything.

Annie, these are the only parents I’ve ever had. I am legally adopted, so I have a legal right as well as a given right. How do I calmly explain that they are my parents, too? — Their Child

Dear Their Child: You are not going to make your uncles treat you like a sibling. They see you as their brother’s child. And although your parents are not that old, it is never too soon to prepare a will and other necessary legal documents. Your parents’ wishes and the distribution of their assets are things they get to decide, and they should discuss it with a lawyer. They should also have a family meeting and make sure that all of their children are aware of how they want this to be handled.

Dear Annie: I recently attended a cocktail party at the home of a former colleague from our deaf program. The speaker was a campaign worker for one of the presidential candidates. The party hostess made arrangements in advance for a sign language interpreter.

When the speaker was done with his presentation, I waited for my turn to talk to him. As I got clearance, I was interrupted by three hearing female guests who showed no respect for a deaf guest while the conversation took place. I managed to maintain a professional attitude by containing my emotions, but their rudeness took me by surprise. The speaker was fully aware of this, and his facial expression hinted to me that he was not pleased by this episode.

If I were to attend another such event and get the same treatment, what should I do? — Deaf Professor

Dear Deaf: This type of situation can occur whether a guest is deaf or not. People interrupt, block you from the conversation and behave rudely. An alert host would have interceded, and the speaker should have made every effort to be more inclusive. He allowed these women to hijack the conversation. You also could have enlisted the assistance of the interpreter. If you feel you were treated poorly solely because of your deafness, please discuss this with your host at the next such event.

Dear Annie: The letter from “Heartbroken Mother,” whose 36-year-old son is a drug addict, hit home. That son could’ve been me.

I’m glad you told her to take care of herself first. I would also like to mention that The Salvation Army offers a free, six-month-minimum in-patient adult rehabilitation program. It’s a tough, spiritually based 12-step program that includes a full day of hard work and counseling.

I have seen so many people who are hopeless and helpless renewed to strong, contributing members of the community. When one shows up for intake, they have to test clean for drugs and alcohol. Maybe her son is not ready, but there may be thousands more who are reading this column. It is challenging but literally lifesaving. The rewards for those who take the walk and for the families who take it with them bring me to tears every time I witness the change and hope that come. — Doug

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Real estate agent pens, produces movie

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
 
Neighborhood candy hunts of the past

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
Vintage Fair on tap at McBride Senior Center

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
Candy from sky highlights North Texas Street event

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Fairfield police log: Oct. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Oct. 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

 
.

US / World

California eyes $500 billion in water spending

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment

 
Judge approves Stockton’s bankruptcy plan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Marine wants new charges in Iraq war crime tossed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
Roseville officer accused of criminal threats

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

Man charged with murder in SWAT officer shooting

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Teen arrested in threat at Sacramento school

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

Police make arrest in slaying of Oakland mom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Retrial in assault case over stray cat feeding

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 3 Comments

Missing California hunter roasted bugs, lizards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Pilot identified in California jet crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Poll: Democrats leading in all statewide races

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
Lawsuit: Surgical gowns let diseases pass through

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Fearing Ebola? Doctors say get a flu shot

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Questions, answers about California’s Ebola policy

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Maine in standoff with nurse over Ebola safeguards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Relatives suspected poisoning in family’s deaths

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Pair convicted in secret $1.6 M Navy silencer deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Guard troops sent to site of Hawaii lava flow

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Terminally ill woman may postpone taking her life

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

 
Man’s own dog helps police bust him on drug charge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Fearing uprising, Iraq militants hunt ex-police

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
Vatican admits Sistine Chapel frescoes ‘whitened’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Israel closes Jerusalem holy site after shooting

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Death penalty sought for trooper ambush suspect

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

 
Editorial Cartoons: Oct. 31, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
 
Man’s prosecution unwarranted

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 5 Comments

Are we safe now?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 18 Comments

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Oct. 31, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Oct. 31, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

My husband sends texts filled with ‘dirty talk’ to an old flame

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

 
Horoscopes: Oct. 31, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Jorge Garcia makes the most of ‘Hawaii Five-O’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1, 1 Comment

 
Week in preview Oct. 31-Nov. 6, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Monica Potter wants to save her show ‘Parenthood’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Review: Jake Gyllenhaal, tightly coiled and creepy

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Exhibit on Paul Simon’s life to debut at Rock Hall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
PBS touts 2013-14 ratings growth

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Reality TV show ‘Big Brother’ to debut in China

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
‘The View’ now under ABC News as further revamping

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Review: ‘Sleep’ a decidedly average psych thriller

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Entertainment calendar Oct. 31, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B4

Winter’s wife has blues listening to his new album

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Galway Kinnell dies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
.

Sports

 
Benicia fends off Vanden, 35-21

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
New dynasty: Giants capture 3rd title in 5 years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Warriors exercise options on Barnes, Ezeli

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Mack making impact for Raiders even without sacks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Bye week helps 49ers Vernon Davis’ recovery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Sonoma Raceway to host IndyCar Series finale in 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
This date in sports history for Friday, Oct. 31, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Prep football capsules: Week 9

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

.

Business

Not so sweet: Chocolate prices are set to rise

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Apple CEO publicly acknowledges that he’s gay

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11, 1 Comment | Gallery

FTC accuses Gerber of false claim on baby formula

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
.

Obituaries

Robert Louis Wright

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Oscar Lee Vezeau

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9