Sunday, March 29, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My fiance won’t pay my bills and makes me ask permission if I want to talk to my family

By
From page B5 | February 15, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I have been with my fiance for 14 years, and we have had our fair share of problems. Three months ago, I left, taking our kids with me. But I came back when he asked me to. I figured I owed it to the children to try to work things out. But nothing has changed.

I don’t have a job outside the home. However, I do have credit card debt. He used to help pay it off, but now he refuses to pay any of my bills. He won’t give me any money except to buy groceries. Our car used to be in both of our names, but now it is only in his name. I’m not allowed to go anywhere without asking for permission or to talk to any of my family and friends unless he says it’s OK.

We also live with his parents, and every time I don’t do the dishes, they complain. I do all the other housework, but it isn’t enough. What do I do? He thinks everything is just fine. — At My Wits’ End

Dear Wits: Get out. This is an abusive relationship. Your fiance has removed all sources of income and support from you so that you are completely dependent on him. Please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at 800-799-7233. You need help now.

Dear Annie: My son and his first wife had a destination wedding in a foreign country. My husband and I hosted an engagement party in our hometown, and a friend of mine threw the bride a shower. My son and daughter-in-law divorced, and he is now engaged and planning a second wedding.

My brother-in-law made a comment that he and his wife do not send gifts for second weddings. My son is torn about how to handle the invitations. While it is his second marriage, it is the bride’s first. He doesn’t believe she should be penalized because his first wife ended their marriage.

What is the etiquette regarding this matter? We certainly don’t want anyone to feel that my son and his fiancee are wanting heaps of gifts and money, especially when these family members and friends “showered” him with gifts the first time around. — Vexed Mother of the Groom

Dear Vexed: First-time brides are entitled to wedding and shower gifts, regardless of the groom’s prior marital history. Of course, shower invitations can be weighted toward her family and friends, but also may include close family members and friends on the groom’s side. Guests who feel overburdened with shower gifts do not have to attend. And while wedding gifts are always appropriate, those who sent gifts for your son’s first wedding may wish to give a more modest gift the second time around. The intention is to invite people to share the celebration.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Frustrated Son,” whose mother was insisting that he be confirmed in the Catholic Church. As the director of religious education in a Catholic parish, I deal with this issue frequently. The choice to be confirmed is the son’s.

A good first step is for the son to talk to his parish priest, who might very well agree that he is not ready to receive the sacrament of confirmation. If that is the case, he absolutely should not be confirmed at this time. He cannot be forced, because any sacrament given against someone’s will is not valid.

Both my children said early on in their confirmation training that they did not want to be confirmed. We compromised that they would go to the classes, do the volunteer work and go on the retreat. If, after completing the two-year training, they still felt that they did not want to be confirmed, it was their choice. — Boston

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Vanden girls end stellar season

By Brian Arnold | From Page: C1 | Gallery

 
Vanden High library project nears completion

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Cheers for Jupiter – and roller derby

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2, 2 Comments

 
Vacaville police make arrest after pursuit

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

 
Red Cross volunteers help assemble first aid kits

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3 | Gallery

PG&E helps replace stolen equipment

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3

 
Justin-Siena names new principal

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3

Event benefits child who attends Cambridge School

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Free paper shredding option returns to Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Vacaville bridal, quinceanera show a hit

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5

 
Tips on hydrozoning your garden

By Tina Saravia | From Page: B8, 1 Comment

Best barometer of investment success: Wealth

By Mark Sievers | From Page: B8

 
 
Fairfield police log: March 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: March 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Gang chief, international fugitive among dozens paroled

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Experts: Sex bias case will embolden women despite verdict

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Crash victim’s father calls for more focus on pilot welfare

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Popular Yosemite National Park lookout opens early in season

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
Bird flu found in a top Minnesota turkey producing county

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Some British Airways frequent flier accounts miles breached

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

7 shot and injured at Florida spring break house party

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Boko Haram kills 39, legislator, disrupting Nigeria election

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Official: Al-Shabab siege at Somali hotel ends, 24 dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Islamic fighters led by al-Qaida in Syria seize major city

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
.

Living

Today in History: March 29, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: March 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Pope finds popularity and dissent at 2-year mark

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

 
Truth does not change

By The Rev. Art Zacher | From Page: C3, 1 Comment

Horoscopes: March 29, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B8

 
Daughter choses stepdad over father to walk her down the aisle

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B8

.

Entertainment

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Second Julie Andrews memoir expected in 2017

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Chrissie Hynde memoir coming in September

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

.

Sports

Wisconsin heads to Final Four after 85-78 win over Arizona

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Burns scores winner in SO to lift Sharks past Flyers, 3-2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Warriors beat Bucks 108-95, clinch top seed in West

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Gordon, Earnhardt among the winners and fans of Martinsville

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Prince Bishop wins Dubai World Cup, California Chrome 2nd

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Serena Williams easily wins opening match at Miami Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Power leads Penske sweep in qualifying for IndyCar opener

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Revolution win first of season, beating Earthquakes 2-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Jenest pitches SCC baseball team to shutout of Contra Costa

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

 
AP sources: Texas fires coach Barnes after 17 years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Kazmir, Quintana both strong; A’s beat White Sox 10-4

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Zunino homers twice, but Giants rally to edge Mariners 9-8

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Jimmy Walker leads hometown Texas Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
.

Business

A glance at women in leadership roles in business worldwide

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
For business, more women in charge means bigger profits

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

US drillers scrambling to thwart OPEC threat

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Test trial to use computer servers to heat homes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B14

.

Obituaries

Helen Kalis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Carol A. Vose

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Robert Roberts

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Janice Jewel Thompson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Betty Mason

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Tiffany Lyn (Helzer) Kemp

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Richard F. Coleman

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
James Lee Lewis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics