Monday, March 2, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My daughter won’t let me see the grandchildren while I’m seeing Harry

Dear Annie: I was widowed five years ago, after 36 years of marriage. Recently, I reunited with my boyfriend from junior high school. “Harry” is in the final weeks of a divorce.

It turns out that Harry and I are very much in love. Unfortunately, my oldest daughter is extremely angry that I am dating a man whose divorce is not final. She refuses to meet Harry and wants me to stop seeing him. She will not visit me or permit me to spend time with my two grandchildren as long as I am with Harry.

I have always been close to my three adult children. I am terribly hurt by my daughter’s refusal to allow contact. We have gone to counseling separately, and I am hoping, in time, that we can get some joint counseling. But right now, my daughter won’t even talk to me. We are at an impasse. Any advice? — Widow

Dear Widow: If your daughter truly objects to your seeing a man who is not yet legally divorced, then there will be no change until his status is resolved. And you might consider waiting. While you knew Harry as a young girl, your current relationship is new. Please take your time.

Your daughter also may feel that you are trying to replace her father, and she could reject any man you date. Many grown children have a difficult time accepting that their widowed parent is in love with someone else. They feel that as long as you remain a grieving widow, your late husband is the love of your life. Anything else is a betrayal. It is, of course, terribly selfish of any child to deny parents such future happiness and expect them to live in the past. We hope counseling helps you both.

Dear Annie: My 83-year-old husband has always been a quiet man. He now lives at a nursing home for medical reasons and comes home every day to visit me.

After a few words of greeting, he sits down and remains silent, expecting me to entertain him with conversation. He’s turning into his father, who never said more than five sentences to me. I’m not in the best of health and don’t do much socializing, but I can speak pleasantly about current world affairs and events in our children’s lives. Some days I don’t feel like talking at all and would like to just sit and watch television.

My husband’s attitude is making me angry and exhausted. I’ve spoken to him about it, but he is too lazy to contribute anything. He has two friends and no social activities. He makes me feel like screaming. Any suggestions? — Iceberg

Dear Iceberg: You are taking on a bigger burden than necessary. The fact that your husband visits doesn’t mean he is a guest whom you have to entertain. You are not obligated to make conversation with someone who neither contributes nor cares. While he undoubtedly appreciates news of the children, there is nothing wrong with having a visit where the two of you watch TV together. Accept him as he is, and talk only as much as you want. We hope this alleviates some of your frustration.

Dear Annie: I have another perspective on “Concerned Cousin,” who worried about grandchildren occasionally sharing a bed with the grandparents.

My husband and I have 12 grandchildren. When they sleep over, we put them in the same little tent our daughter once slept in when we camped out, along with a second small tent we purchased later. The kids love it, and we can keep an eye on them throughout the night.

In this day and age, it is important to take precautions. We are loving, caring grandparents, but the reality is, if a parent decides to punish you, you can be accused of terrible things you never did. — Protect the Grandparents

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

    Whiteside ready to take Travis school board seat

    By Bill Hicks | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    World War II spy shares tales of work behind enemy lines

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    I love to ‘read’ audiobooks

    By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

     
    PublicStuff, an online app, set for Fairfield

    By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

     
    Beginning gardening series starts in March

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

    Literacy celebration returns this month

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Council to hear budget scenarios

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

     
    Fairfield High School celebrates black history

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Warm winter afternoon at Lagoon Valley Park

    By Steve Reczkowski | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

    Free medical series targets senior health issues

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Pena Adobe hosts natural dye-making presentation

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

    IHOP takes part in National Pancake Day

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

     
    Local governments schedule meetings this week

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

    Vacaville 4-alarm house fIre

    By Steve Reczkowski | From Page: A4, 2 Comments | Gallery

     
    Weather for Monday, March 2, 2015

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B10

    Corner Store Gallery schedules open house

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

     
    .

    US / World

    Kerry tries to dampen fuss over Israeli PM’s speech

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Hundreds of bills introduced by California lawmakers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

    Lawmakers tinker with crime measure recently OK’d by voters

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Storm brings rain, thunder, hail to Southern California

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

    California GOP recognizes gay faction of party

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

     
    New plane tracking to be tested after Malaysia jet mystery

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Iraqi premier gives ultimatum ahead of hinted Tikrit attack

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Activists say Islamic State releases 19 Syrian Christians

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Sierra Leone’s vice president in quarantine for Ebola

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    30,000 marchers in Moscow mourn slain Putin foe

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Spacewalking astronauts finish extensive, tricky cable job

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Survey: Parents increasingly ask doctors to delay vaccines

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Newspaper: Nurse who survived Ebola says hospital failed her

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Myanmar captures rare white elephant in western jungles

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Crowd kills girl suspected to be suicide bomber in Nigeria

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    .

    Opinion

    Editorial Cartoon: March 2, 2015

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    A night with a King

    By Delon Jackson | From Page: A8

     
    Your right to work for less

    By Mike Kirchubel | From Page: A8, 32 Comments

    Right fight in DC, but wrong reason

    By Colbert I. King | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Living

    Community Calendar: March 2, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

     
    Today in History: March 2, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Why timeouts only prolong the problem

    By The Washington Post | From Page: B5

     
    Horoscopes: March 3, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

    Horoscopes: March 2, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

     
    It’s never a good idea to point out how big a pregnant woman is

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

    .

    Entertainment

    Lady Gaga, Vince Vaughn take charity polar plunge in Chicago

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    Will Smith’s ‘Focus’ tops box office with $19.1 million

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    TVGrid March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A10

    TVGrid March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B11

     
    .

    Sports

     
    Curry scores 37, leads Warriors from 26 down to beat Celtics

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Jimmie Johnson pulls away for another Atlanta Sprint Cup win

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Giants reliever Strickland insists he’s tranquil on mound

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

    Lillard, Aldridge lead Blazers past Kings for 3rd in a row

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Broadcasters propose FIFA election debate to Blatter, rivals

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Major league baseball’s 1st black Latino star Minoso dies

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Seller’s market for NHL teams as trade deadline nears

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Andy Sullivan wins Joburg Open for 2nd title this year

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    South Korea’s Amy Yang wins Honda LPGA Thailand

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Hannah hurls Bulldogs to 2-0 win over Campolindo

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

     
    Oregon women upset No. 19 Stanford 62-55

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Indians open season with 12-4 win over Falcons

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

     
    Oregon beats Stanford 73-70, clinches bye in Pac-12 tourney

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Process gets underway to carve up $60 million Sandusky fine

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Cal’s big run lifts Bears past Oregon State 73-56

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Former Washington basketball star Christian Welp dies at 51

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Sharks trade Sheppard to Rangers for draft pick

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    4,000 attend Jerry Tarkanian tribute in Las Vegas arena

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Garnett buys 1,000 tickets for fans for next T-wolves game

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Poulter, Casey share lead at rain-delayed Honda Classic

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Blatter concerned by Russian soccer racism before World Cup

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    This date in sports history for March 2, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez nearing 1st spring game

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    Fast and furious: Rousey looks to future after 14-second win

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

    .

    Business

    Mimi’s adds breakfast items to menu

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

     
    Samsung ditches plastic design, adds mobile pay in new phone

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

    In Apple’s latest update, emojis get diverse

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Jacqueline Mendes

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    Lester Singer

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Beetle Bailey March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Blondie March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    For Better or Worse March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Wizard of Id March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Pickles March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Peanuts March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    B.C. March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Baby Blues March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Rose is Rose March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Baldo March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Zits March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Garfield March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Sally Forth March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Get Fuzzy March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Frank and Ernest March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Dilbert March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Crossword March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

     
    Sudoku March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

    Cryptoquote March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

     
    Word Sleuth March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

    Bridge March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

     
    Garfield March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Get Fuzzy March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Frank and Ernest March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Blondie March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Sally Forth March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Wizard of Id March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Baby Blues March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    B.C. March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Beetle Bailey March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Peanuts March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    For Better or Worse March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Dilbert March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Baldo March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Zits March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Rose is Rose March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Pickles March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Word Sleuth March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

    Crossword March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

     
    Cryptoquote March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

    Sudoku March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

     
    Bridge March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7