Saturday, November 22, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My daughter uses me as a baby-sitting service; she never stays to visit

Dear Annie: At least once a week, my oldest daughter, “Alice,” asks me to baby-sit her two kids. I have back problems and cannot get up and down all the time. She has never offered me a dime, even when she was married and had two incomes. I could use the money.

Alice recently went through a divorce. I babysat a lot during that time, but she never showed any appreciation. Alice blames me for everything bad that has ever happened to her, because I divorced her father. So I feel guilty and agree to babysit all the time. Of course, their father moved away without saying goodbye to any of the kids and was out of their lives for seven years, leaving me with two teenagers and a 9-year-old to raise on my own. He never paid a drop of child support.

I am remarried, and my husband and I like to have the weekends to ourselves. We would love it if Alice brought the kids over for a visit and stayed. But she drops them at the front door and speeds away. She is often gone for hours. She doesn’t answer her cellphone when I call to ask when she’s coming back. The kids run out to her car, and she zips off.

Alice never phones just to talk, only to ask me to babysit. If I don’t answer, she drives over and pounds on my door. I’m afraid to sit on the porch for fear she will show up and ask me to babysit. All of the children are now reunited with their father. Why doesn’t Alice ask him to babysit once in a while? — Hiding Out in Indiana

Dear Hiding Out: You need to be more assertive with Alice. Tell her that you’d like her to visit once in a while instead of using you as a drop-off service. Also say that you love the kids, but cannot babysit so much. Be sure she knows you mean it. It’s OK to say no, even if it makes her angry. If you want to work out some type of payment, that’s between the two of you, but don’t be afraid to bring it up.

Dear Annie: I am an 87-year-old widower and am appalled at the number of letters in your column about bickering between parents, children, siblings, grandparents, friends, husbands and wives.

I wish I could share some of the love I am blessed to experience. After my wife of 52 years died, I went out late at night to clear snow from the church parking lot. Upon returning, there were four messages on my answering machine, and my granddaughter was calling to say her father was on his way to check on me – a 40-mile round trip. So for the past 15 years, they have called every night, no matter where they are.

My son-in-law uses a week of his vacation to drive 1,500 miles to check on my 90-year-old sister. And he drives 80 miles on Sundays to get me to church. My granddaughters take me to the doctor, and my nephew and his wife often take me to dinner. My wife’s family includes me in their get-togethers. My son calls daily, and my grandson fills in when his family is out of town.

We reap what we sow. Love is like an echo: What you do or say will return to you. — A Blessed Grandpaw

Dear Grandpaw: It warms our hearts to know how close and loving your family is. We wish everyone were so cherished. Thank you.

Dear Annie: This is for “Grimacing in Sarasota, Fla.” and all the toilet hoverers: Use a piece of toilet tissue to pick up the seat. Then hover all you want. When finished, use another piece of tissue to put the seat back down. Piece of cake! — Ruth in Davenport, Iowa

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
Fairfield on film celebration set Saturday

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Solano high school students bring robotics to Shanghai, China

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Hanukkah Festival added to Holiday in the Park

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1, 1 Comment

 
Holidays present seasonal entertainment

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

Memories of Thanksgiving Days gone by

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
Man shot at Suisun City apartment

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3, 9 Comments

 
 
Fairfield police log: Nov. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: Nov. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
.

US / World

Emotions rise as people hear immigration plan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment

 
Obama spurns GOP with expansive immigration orders

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 39 Comments

Congress can’t ‘de-fund’ Obama on immigration

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment

 
A look at the numbers in Obama’s immigration plan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 4 Comments

California sheriff criticizes Obama on immigration

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3, 5 Comments

 
PG&E fined over alleged secret dealings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Deal divides billions in closed nuke plant’s costs

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
California tuition hike fight shifts to Sacramento

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Feinstein: Drought relief bill out for this year

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments

 
GOP’s success in House races ends in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments

Insurance sign-ups outpacing first year enrollment

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Man who killed co-worker, cut out heart released

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 4 Comments

St. Louis region prepares for Ferguson decision

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Union: Ferguson officer does not expect charges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 2 Comments

NOAA: Globe sets 5th hottest-month record of 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Roofs collapse as New York clobbered by more snow

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Hearing draws apology, admission in air bag mess

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Florida State shooter was well-liked but troubled

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Officials downplay debates over Ebola aid response

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Boko Haram said to kill about 45 people in Nigeria

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Israeli mayor’s ban on Arab workers ignites uproar

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Protesters, police clash in Mexico before marches

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Egypt acquits doctor in female genital mutilation

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Slain beauty queen, sister buried in Honduras

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

.

Opinion

Why are we still changing clock times?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 18 Comments

 
Editorial Cartoons: Nov. 21, 2014

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: A11

 
Thank you to businesses that support veterans

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11

 
 
Thank you for saving my purse

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 2 Comments

.

Living

Today in History: Nov. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Nov. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

I have several part-time jobs and have no time or money for a personal life

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

 
Horoscopes: Nov. 21, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

Week in preview Nov. 21-27, 2014

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

 
Mike Nichols, crafter of films, plays, dies at 83

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Hollywood pays tribute to Mike Nichols

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Five memorable movies from Mike Nichols

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Highlights from Mike Nichols’ multi-genre career

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Handler apologizes for watermelon joke at awards

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

O’Keeffe painting sells for record $44.4M in NYC

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
TV Land pulls ‘Cosby Show’ from lineup

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3, 1 Comment

Mysterious sculpture recovered from River Seine

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Review: Revolution gathering in ‘Mockingjay

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Entertainment calendar Nov. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

 
How a ‘tiny hamster’ video gets made

By The Washington Post | From Page: B5

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
James Nesbitt as a father whose child disappears

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

.

Sports

Bulldogs, Wildcats into SJS quarterfinals

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B7

 
Raiders snap 16-game skid with 24-20 win vs. KC

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Giants confident they’re in Pablo Sandoval chase

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Intense Boldin keeps making big catches for 49ers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Lewis in range of big prize at Tour Championship

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Hendrick gives Kahne 3-year contract extension

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
NASCAR: Johnson says Harvick was correct winner

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Jared Goff growing into role of Cal’s ‘Golden Boy’

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
JC volleyball: Falcons have 4 players earn all-BVC honors

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B8

Manfred given 5-year term as baseball commissioner

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Bills’ home game against Jets relocated to Detroit

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

AP source: Bermuda to host 2017 America’s Cup

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
FIFA to review World Cup corruption report

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Union appeals Adrian Peterson’s suspension

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
This week in sports history for Friday, Nov. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Bjugstad leads Panthers to 3-2 SO win over Sharks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

Prep football capsules: Week 12

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

 
Cousins, Gay lead Kings past Bulls, 103-88

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

.

Business

LaCrosse rides Buick’s high reliability rating

By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

 
Ford gets the aluminum F-150 ready for prime time

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2, 1 Comment

Country of origin label for meat cuts endangered

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Polls: Employers still prioritize health coverage

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

New Mexico lawmakers grill spaceport boss

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
Family gets $6.75 million in Botox treatment case

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Gap names heads of namesake brand, Banana Republic

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
AT&T pays $23.8 M to settle hazardous-waste case

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

Soaring generic drug prices draw Senate scrutiny

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
US home sales rise in October

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

US unemployment aid applications fall to 291,000

By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9