Monday, September 1, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

My boyfriend broke up with me, but we end up sleeping together when he visits

Dear Annie: I am a senior in high school. My boyfriend broke up with me a month after he went off to college. We had been together for nine months, and I was devastated. He was my first real boyfriend. He treated me well and cried when we broke up. He ended our relationship because it was his first time being on his own, and he didn’t want anyone tying him down. He said he needs time to figure out his life. He claims I will understand when I go to college, and I am trying to accept this.

Our breakup was amicable, even though I was upset. We still text and talk on a regular basis. I know he has no intention of getting back together, at least not now. I have seen him three times since we broke up, and every time we end up sleeping together. He told me recently that he thinks he is interested in another girl.

My friends say it’s best if I cut all ties with him – no more talking, texting or seeing him when he’s home for breaks. My friends have never been through something like this, though, so they don’t understand how hard it would be for me to not have him in my life. Annie, what do you think? — Confused in California

Dear Confused: Please stop sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. It only muddies the water and makes everything more difficult. He has broken up with you, and frankly, he was right to do so. He’s away at school and wants to date other women. Instead of simply cheating on you, he was honest and ended things. But continuing to sleep with you is taking advantage. You have to let him go. If you want to remain friends, fine, but only if it doesn’t include “with benefits.” You need some space to get over him and move on with your life.

Dear Annie: I’ve never read a letter with my problem: I’m not attracted to my husband anymore, and that’s why I’m not having sex with him.

I have a stronger sex drive than my husband, who will be 50 soon. When we were in our 30s and he wasn’t so overweight, I would initiate sex if he had bathed and brushed his teeth after coming home from his construction job dirty, sweaty and greasy. The problem is that he stopped bathing, and I can’t deal with his significant beer belly and his horrible breath. Also, he has sinus issues and is constantly clearing his throat, which drives me nuts.

I am in good shape, and other men still admire me, which only adds to my frustration. Actually, the frustration is turning into bitterness because he makes no effort to get into better shape. Now I am simply turned off. We do very little together as a couple except eat. I’m sure he blames me for our lack of intimacy.

Please let men know that they can’t expect their wives to look great while they let themselves go. These middle-age issues never occurred to me when I was younger. — No Longer Compatible

Dear No Longer: This is part of “in sickness and in health.” You might find your husband more appealing if he made even a small effort. “Not trying” seems like “not caring.” But it’s possible your husband has some issues with depression and aging. See whether counseling and a doctor’s checkup help. We hope so.

Dear Annie: “Disgruntled in California” said her older sister kept it a secret that she saw Disgruntled’s son eating in a restaurant.

Good grief. She saw her adult nephew eating in a restaurant, and she’s supposed to report this to his mother? Why? Disgruntled sounds like a helicopter sister. Older does not mean incompetent or in need of direction. Their relationship might improve a whole lot if Disgruntled attempted to be a friend instead of an overbearing mother. — Sister Who Knows

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 7 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • G-ManJanuary 16, 2013 - 10:50 pm

    Dear Confused..Please stop sleeping with yyour x boyfriend..because I'm more than willing to break up with you too!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • joshJanuary 17, 2013 - 12:24 am

    stop sleeping wit ur boyfriend call me

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • G-ManJanuary 17, 2013 - 12:29 am

    Back off Josh..I was here first..seems like this babe gets around..why can't you just wait your turn?

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Morning JoeJanuary 17, 2013 - 5:11 am

    Miss Confused: Do what makes you feel good and do it smart. -next time, collect a toll from frat-boy.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • G-ManJanuary 17, 2013 - 5:51 am

    Man!!...if that chick is reading this feed she probably feels quite violated by now..my apologies I can't afford quality escorts.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Evening JoeJanuary 17, 2013 - 7:25 pm

    G-man, as I recall you weren't the one that wrote in for advice. This isn't about your social life or current budget. Consider a low cost long walk off a short pier...peace!

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • G-ManJanuary 17, 2013 - 10:33 pm

    Presuming Eve and Morn Joe are one in the same..you gave advice.."Toll from a frat boy"?..didn't understand it but that's advice right?...I took the same liberty.."Long walk off a short pier"..huh?...Man I have to say that is clever..You have quite the "wit"!!..When can we see the other half of it?

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

Solano News

 
Highway 12 project nears completion

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1 | Gallery

‘Snail mail’ still kinda cool

By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

 
Democrats plan candidates meet, greet

By Glen Faison | From Page: A3

 
Stand Up 2 Cancer Viewing party set in Vacaville

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Senior center schedules discussion on senior travel

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Local government schedule meetings

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
 
Car club raises funds, supplies for SPCA

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

Goodwill opens Outlet Store in Fairfield

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
Fairfield economic team announces addition

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A7

Premier post details of new lease

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A7

 
Il Fiorello to host jazz event

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A7

 
New doctors join NorthBay

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A7

Small earthquakes shake Solano

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

 
.

Opinion

Dollars and sense: The politics of division

By Earl Heal | From Page: A8

 
Whopper of a tax dodge for Burger King

By Mike Kirchubel | From Page: A8

 
Is social media enlarging or stifling democracy?

By Cynthia M. Allen | From Page: A8

Compromise on Cordelia Road rail crossing costs

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

 
Justice for all

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

Good job, Susan Winlow

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Editorial Cartoon: Sept. 1, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

.

Living

Community Calendar: Sept. 1, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Sept. 1, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Is my husband right when he says men aren’t made for monogamy?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B5

 
Horoscopes: Sept. 1, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

 
Horoscopes: Sept. 2, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B7

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A5

 
5 takeaways from a punch-less summer box office

By Jake Coyle | From Page: A11

Joan Rivers’ daughter: I’m keeping fingers crossed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

.

Sports

Source: 49ers OL Boone agrees to new 2-yr deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
49er Ray McDonald accused of domestic violence

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Kahne holds off Kenseth to win Atlanta shootout

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Wozniacki outlasts Sharapova, in US Open quarters

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Falcons looking to be defensive

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Down at half, US beats Turkey in basketball worlds

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Source: Chiefs’ Smith agrees to 4-yr extension

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Tony Stewart’s return to race track ends early

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Sam clears waivers, meets with Fisher

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

FC Kansas City wins NWSL title over Seattle, 2-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Raiders claim DE Mayowa off waivers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Jensen waived after Jaguars awarded TE Shuler

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Otto wins Italian Open; Gallacher comes up short

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Weather for Monday, Sept. 1, 2014

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

 
Henley takes a 1-shot lead at Deutsche Bank

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Dunn dealt to A’s, could be his last shot playoffs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Fred Couples wins Champions Tour event

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

A’s frustrated after 8-1 loss caps sweep by Angels

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Ernst wins LPGA’s Portland Classic in playoff

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Giants power past Brewers 15-5 for 3-game sweep

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
This date in sports history for Monday, Sept. 1, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Laurie Danielson Bailey

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Hazel Gertrude Wamsley

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Jerry Lee Trammell

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 6 Comments

 
.

Comics

Rose is Rose Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baldo Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Beetle Bailey Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
B.C. Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Get Fuzzy Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Frank and Ernest Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Dilbert Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Zits Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Pickles Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Wizard of Id Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Garfield Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Sally Forth Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

For Better or Worse Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baby Blues Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Peanuts Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Blondie Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Sudoku Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Crossword Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Cryptoquote Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Word Sleuth Sept 1

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Baldo Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Garfield Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Frank and Ernest Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Zits Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Dilbert Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Wizard of Id Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

For Better or Worse Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Sally Forth Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Peanuts Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Blondie Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Rose is Rose Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Get Fuzzy Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

B.C. Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Word Sleuth Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Crossword Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Cryptoquote Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Sudoku Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Bridge Sept 2

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7