Monday, September 15, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I’ve lost all trust in my cheating husband. What should I do now?

Dear Annie: I have been married for three years. Two months after the wedding, I discovered that my husband was cheating with several women. Worse, he confessed that he wasn’t using condoms, and by that time, I was four months pregnant. I was crushed to learn that he was putting our unborn baby’s life at risk.

After that horrible ordeal, we tried to work on our marriage, but I never regained trust in him, and the love I had felt dissipated. Now I’ve discovered that he is cheating again. I can’t even stand to be intimate with him. To kiss him is torture.

I no longer love him and am contemplating leaving. Can you give me some guidance? — My Trust Went Out the Window

Dear Trust: First, if you are still sexually intimate, please use protection, because you cannot trust your husband to do so. Then speak to a lawyer. You need to protect yourself financially. You also need to work out custody, support and visitation arrangements that are in your child’s best interests. Then we hope you will seek counseling to help you understand that your husband’s serial cheating and risky sexual behavior are not your fault and that you deserve better. A good counselor will guide you to move forward with your life without holding onto bitterness and anger.

Dear Annie: My friend and I like to take books out of the library and often carry them to work in order to read at lunch.

The problem is, other co-workers start talking to us even though they see us reading. Sometimes they stare until we look up and engage. We always close our books and take part in the conversation, but it eats up our entire lunch break. I know it’s rude to read at the table when others are talking, but this is the only time we have and the only place other than the bathroom or our cars. And it’s not as if we don’t speak to our co-workers at other times.

These same people read the newspaper, do puzzles and spend time on their phones with no interruption from me, so why do they insist on interrupting people with a book? Are we being rude, or are they? — Reading on My Own Time

Dear Reading: It is rude to read at the table when others are already there and attempting to engage you in conversation. But it is equally rude to crash a table where someone is reading and interrupt them, although these co-workers may assume you read because you have no one to talk to.

You could tell them, “I’d love to talk, but I really must finish this book, and this is the only free time I have.” You and your friend could post a little sign at your lunch table that says, “Reading Room.” You could look for another place to read within the building that is not occupied by people you know. You could go out for lunch to a nearby coffee shop. Or you could read at home.

Dear Annie: This is a response to “BH,” who was irked that her boyfriend’s unpleasant ex-wife invites herself to family events. Many years ago, a dear friend taught me that we can achieve peace by changing our own attitude when we find ourselves dealing with an unpleasant person.

I was bemoaning the latest outrageous behavior by an uncle I couldn’t avoid when “Lenora” interjected, “How sad you must be for him! He must be a deeply unhappy person and have many struggles in life.” Rather than be annoyed, I should feel sorry for him. It completely reoriented my outlook.

This mindset, which I call radical compassion, does not require that we like the person, but it does enable us to maintain our own calm politeness and avoid the pitfalls of trying to force others to make changes they may resent. — More at Peace

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Solano County theater honored for stage work

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
 
 
 
Suisun council to hear fireworks sales report

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3, 2 Comments | Gallery

CHP schedules teen driver classes

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
Kroc Center hosts fall senior health fair

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Local governments schedule meetings

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Il Fiorello schedules butchery class

By Barry Eberling | From Page: B6

New freeway sign goes up

By Barry Eberling | From Page: B6, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
Former Vacaville resident received TechCrunch honor

By Barry Eberling | From Page: B6

Recycling business honored

By Barry Eberling | From Page: B6

 
Weather for Sept. 15, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B10

 
.

US / World

Santa Monica using $1M to evaluate its happiness

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
S&P: California recovers growth with tax increases

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 3 Comments

Diplomatic push grows against Islamic State group

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment

 
Skin shocks used at Mass. school draw FDA look

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

California nudist camp accused of stealing water

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Wildlife experts work to keep baby opossums alive

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Small earthquake rattles Northern California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Navy identifies pilot presumed dead after crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Northern California deck collapse injures 9

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
California regulators seek train-bridge inspectors

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Queen to Scots: Think carefully about future

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
US man in North Korea given 6 years of hard labor

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

Britain mourns slain hostage; another under threat

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
$50K reward offered for tips on trooper’s slaying

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

.

Opinion

The NFL can learn from football coaches in Texas

By Cynthia M. Allen | From Page: A8

 
To exit the Pottery Barn, turn right

By Mike Kirchubel | From Page: A8, 18 Comments

 
Immigration facts by the numbers

By Earl Heal | From Page: A8, 15 Comments

Thank you from Meals on Wheels

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Sept. 15, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Sept. 15, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Randall: Travel tips for visiting my ‘homes’

By Sharon Randall | From Page: B5

 
Horoscopes: Sept. 16, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

Horoscopes: Sept. 15, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

 
I love Howard, but I hate his addiction to drugs

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

.

Entertainment

TVGrid Seot 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Miss New York chosen as Miss America 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

‘No Good Deed’ defeats ‘Guardians’ at theaters

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
TVGrid Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A10

.

Sports

 
Raiders embarrassed after 30-14 loss to Texans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Homers from Moss, Fuld lead A’s past Seattle 4-0

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Giants lose 4-2 to Dodgers, fall 3 back in NL West

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Jay Cutler rallies Bears past 49ers in fourth

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Armijo girls run to 3rd-place finish in Folsom

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

Keselowski wins opening round of NASCAR’s Chase

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
USA wins basketball worlds, 129-92 over Serbia

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Could Pacquiao fight be in cards for Mayweather?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Horschel caps amazing run with FedEx Cup

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Kim beats Webb by 1 to win Evian Championship

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Peanuts Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baldo Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Frank and Ernest Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Zits Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Sally Forth Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Rose is Rose Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Beetle Bailey Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Wizard of Id Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

For Better or Worse Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
B.C. Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Dilbert Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baby Blues Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Get Fuzzy Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Pickles Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Blondie Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Garfield September 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Crossword Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Cryptoquote Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Word Sleuth Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Sudoku Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Bridge Sept 16

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
B.C. Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Garfield September 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Zits Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Dilbert Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Peanuts Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Wizard of Id Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Beetle Bailey Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

For Better or Worse Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Pickles Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Frank and Ernest Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Rose is Rose Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Blondie Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Sally Forth Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Baby Blues Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Baldo Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Get Fuzzy Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Crossword Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Cryptoquote Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

 
Word Sleuth Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Sudoku Sept 15

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7