Thursday, March 5, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

It’s hard for me to keep my opinions to myself about my granddaughter’s bad behavior

Dear Annie: Normally I’m good at minding my own business, but when I see how my granddaughter, “Susie,” manipulates her mother (my daughter), I feel the urge to say something.

Susie is almost 12 and seems to be testing the limits in ways I would never have tolerated. She sasses her mother and dominates the conversation at the dinner table. When told to clear away her dirty dishes, she instead goes to the cupboard for a snack. Her discarded clothes are in every room of the house. When told to get ready for school, she turns on the TV. The bathroom floor is cluttered with whatever she tossed there. She even “forgets” to flush the toilet!

My daughter, with incredible patience, sees this behavior as typical for her age. I see Susie as a brat testing her power. Her father says little and makes himself scarce. I’m concerned that a child who should be learning habits that will serve her well in adulthood seems to have no more discipline than a toddler. My daughter, a teacher, insists she knows what she’s doing. So far I’ve kept my mouth shut. What do you advise? — Frustrated Granny

Dear Frustrated: When Susie is in your home, you can instruct her to pick up her clothes, turn off the TV, flush the toilet (heavens!) and clear her plate. Her behavior is not “typical.” It is excessive. While many 12-year-olds will test the limits of what Mom and Dad will tolerate, it doesn’t mean parents should shrug their shoulders and give up. The more the parents accept the more Susie will push. To Susie, if her parents don’t demand anything, it means they don’t care about her. The most you can do is suggest that your daughter discuss Susie’s behavior with her pediatrician, school counselor or a child psychologist for reassurance that she’s handling things in the best possible way.

Dear Annie: My friend “George” has a neighbor who is always watching. This neighbor peeks out from her curtains, apparently thinking no one can see her. If she is sitting outside, she listens in on George’s conversations. If George makes the slightest noise, she will instantly look to see what’s going on.

This neighbor also gossips with the surrounding neighbors. She is incredibly nosey and kind of bizarre. Any ideas about behavior like this? — Canada

Dear Canada: Sure. The neighbor is lonely, curious, bored and gossipy. George is likely one of many neighbors who provide something potentially interesting for her to focus on. She may be annoying, but she also is the same neighbor who will notice if someone tries to break into George’s house. She’s harmless. If you are feeling expansive, the next time you visit George, the two of you could stop by her house and say hello. Bring her some cookies. You’ll make her day.

Dear Annie: “Can’t Wait To Share New Home” said they are about to host their first housewarming party. They asked whether they should register for things they want and include the information on the invitations. You said they shouldn’t register, but if people should ask, they can make suggestions.

Seriously? Aren’t other people supposed to host these parties for you? — Incredulous on Cape Cod

Dear Incredulous. Actually, no. A housewarming is one type of party that you are supposed to host yourself to welcome your friends and family to your new abode and show it off. Registering is inappropriate, as is mentioning gifts on an invitation. But there is nothing wrong with making suggestions to those who ask and who are likely to bring you something anyway.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

    County honors Meadows Trigueiro as Woman of the Year

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Police shut down Fairfield street after shooting

    By Glen Faison | From Page: A1, 15 Comments | Gallery

     
    Celebrity chef motivates Armijo students

    By Susan Winlow | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Highway 12 Association to meet this month

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

     
    Caltrans reschedules work on J-Mack Ferry

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

    State schedules work on Highway 12

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

     
    Bridge work to shut down Highway 12 east of Rio Vista

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

     
     
     
    Robots, raucous businessmen set to arrive on big screen

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A7

     
    Teen hit by SUV remains in hospital

    By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

     
     
     
    Fairfield police log: March 2, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

    Fairfield police log: March 1, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

     
    Fairfield police log: Feb. 28, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

    Suisun police log: March 2, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

     
    Suisun City police log: March 1, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

    Suisun City police log: Feb. 28, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

     
    Enrollment of non-residents to be capped at some UC campuses

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

    .

    US / World

    California survey finds Sierra snowpack far below normal

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Ex-CIA chief admits sharing military secrets with mistress

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Mines, bombs slow Iraqi advance on Islamic State-held Tikrit

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

    India orders TV stations not to give rapist a platform

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

     
    Health officials perplexed by vaccination skeptics

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

    Lawmakers taking another crack at expanding gun checks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

     
    Agents target industry helping Chinese women have US babies

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13 | Gallery

     
    Family of girl declared brain-dead sues Oakland hospital

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

    US marshals say man killed by Los Angeles police was wanted

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13, 2 Comments | Gallery

     
    72 passengers reach settlements in Asiana crash

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

    Netanyahu warns US ‘bad deal’ would put Iran on nuclear path

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

     
    .

    Opinion

    Minority outreach that works

    By Jennifer Rubin | From Page: A11, 3 Comments

     
    Israelis worry about inequality, not Iran

    By Daniel Gordis | From Page: A11, 3 Comments

     
    Editorial cartoon: March 3-4, 2015

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Living

    Today in History: March 4, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Community Calendar: March 4, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

    Mushrooms are nutrient-packed, with a deep, savory flavor

    By The Washington Post | From Page: B5

     
    Get ready to add white to the rainbow of produce you eat

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

     
    Horoscopes: March 4, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B7

    My husband and I want different things in our retirement

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B7

     
    .

    Entertainment

    Apollo to celebrate Holiday birthday

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    Oprah’s Chicago studios to close down

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    Fashion week moves Milan to Paris

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    TVGrid

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    .

    Sports

    Bumgarner hit hard in spring debut, A’s beat Giants 9-4

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
     
    Vanden girls roll, advance to SJS championship game

    By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1

    Kings bring back former player Divac in front-office role

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    No ‘floating rubbish’ collection for Olympic sailing venue

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Cal senior Reshanda Gray named Pac-12 Player of the Year

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Rudy Gay, Kings hand Knicks worst loss of season, 124-86

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Cubs’ scramble on Wrigley Field hits bump when mayor balks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Raiders officially release S Tyvon Branch

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Trooper: Fingerprints show victim in Hernandez’s rented car

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Play ball! Quickly! Baseball tries to speed game this spring

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Australian rugby star Hayne signs 3-year deal with 49ers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Maid: Hernandez messed with security camera after killing

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Pacquiao big hit so far in Vegas sports books vs Mayweather

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    .

    Business

    Oil glut could soon lead to plummeting prices

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Robert C. Thierry

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    Garland (Curly) Henry Tackett

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    Otto Vasak

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    John Henry Fechter, Jr.

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

    Jacqueline Mendes

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Baby Blues

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    Baldo

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Garfield

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    Frank and Ernest

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Blondie

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    Pickles

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Zits

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    Beetle Bailey

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Rose is Rose

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    Dilbert

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Get Fuzzy

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    B.C.

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Peanuts

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    For Better or Worse

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Sally Forth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

     
    Wizard of Id

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

    Crossword

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

     
    Bridge

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

    Word Sleuth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

     
    Cryptoquote

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

    Sudoku

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7