Friday, November 28, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

It’s difficult to live with my adult stepson who doesn’t have a job

By
From page B5 | February 11, 2013 |

Dear Annie: When I married “Joe” three years ago, I moved into his home with my preteen daughter. Joe has two older children and a teenage son. I agreed that the youngest son would stay with us during the week and live at his mother’s on the weekends. Since then, however, his teenage son has decided to stay with his mother, which is fine. However, now the older son and daughter are living with us.

Joe’s daughter has stolen my daughter’s clothes and personal belongings. She denies it, and Joe believes her, even though it was obvious that she went through my daughter’s things while we were out of the house.

His son is married with a toddler and twins on the way. He cannot keep a job, does drugs and was evicted from their apartment. His family moved in with us three months ago. His wife is due any day. She will go to her mother’s when the babies are born, but her mother doesn’t like my stepson, so he has to stay here. He refuses to get a job and expects his father to pay for everything.

Annie, this is causing a huge strain on our marriage and is affecting my health. I have tried talking to Joe, but he says, “I can’t throw my son out to live on the street.” I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this rude young adult man who refuses to follow our house rules. Any suggestions? — Not What I Agreed To

Dear Not: We understand how difficult it is to throw your kids out when they have no means of support, but this is unfair to you and everyone else. Joe’s kids will never learn to stand on their own if they rely on Dad to pay their way through life. Tell Joe that the situation is untenable and you want him to come with you for counseling. Go alone if you must. You have some major decisions to make.

Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old guy. I have few friends, and girls barely speak to me. They certainly don’t give me a chance to take them out. I am a nice guy with a big heart, and I care about people. I will treat a girl with respect.

Where can people my age hang out to meet each other? It seems there are no activities for our age group. I am too young for nightclubs, and the church groups in my area are for teenagers. There are no places to go dancing or mingle with others just to hang out and listen to a DJ or a band. Any suggestions? — Venting

Dear Venting: Look for all-ages music venues, and keep in mind that some clubs do allow underage young adults and place a stamp or wristband to indicate “no liquor.” If there is a college in your area, you can audit a class and check what activities are going on. There may be no restrictions on attending even if you aren’t a student. You also could sign up for a weekend or evening class at the park district, as long as it’s something that truly interests you. If you like a particular band (or artist or TV show), you might find others online who share your enthusiasm. Also, look for friends at your job, and please don’t exclude older workers who may have kids your age. We’re sure our readers will have other suggestions for us to pass along.

Dear Annie: There is one route you didn’t mention for “Not Anti-Social or Addicted to the Internet,” the 56-year-old man who wants friends.

Many churches (such as ours) have men’s groups, gatherings, breakfasts and service projects (such as Habitat for Humanity, mission trips, etc.) that would love to have more manpower. It is a great way to find friendships and a sense of purpose, and it has eternal benefits besides. — Thankful Wife of a Fulfilled Husband

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

     
    Solano Turkey Trot draws 2,600 to college

    By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
     
    Solano College student body to mark World AIDS Day

    By Maureen Fissolo | From Page: A3

     
    Il Fiorello schedules olive milling day

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

    Movies just another course on Thanksgiving

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Early Black Friday shoppers take advantage of deals

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Eagle Scout project adds floating docks at Rockville Park

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    .

    US / World

    ‘Guardian angel,’ community join to give man home

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    US celebrates Thanksgiving with parades, turkey

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Tons of marijuana seized in Central California

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 4 Comments

     
    Gorilla death prompts San Francisco Zoo changes

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

    Health agents still unpaid after plan’s rollout

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

     
    California Burger King employee finds $100,000

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

    At 1 month, US Ebola monitors finding no cases

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Families asked to host visitors for pope’s US trip

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Researchers discover ‘pre-cancers’ in blood

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    For some, location of Brown’s hands irrelevant

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 2 Comments

    Ferguson gives thanks after a quiet night

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

     
    35 arrested in Oakland after protest march

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

    A glance at Ferguson: Then, now and the future

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

     
    Colorado mastodon bones show ancient warmer Earth

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

    Queen of crime writing PD James dies aged 94

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

     
    Ebola aid dogged by coordination lags in Guinea

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

    Taliban attack rocks upscale Kabul district

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

     
    Small quake rattles California wine country

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

    .

    Living

    Today in History: Nov. 28, 2014

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Community Calendar: Nov. 28, 2014

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

    Poor health is no excuse for not behaving like a caring person

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

     
    Horoscope for Nov. 28, 2014

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

    .

    Entertainment

    Week in preview: Nov. 28 to Dec. 4, 2014

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

     
    Review: ‘Horrible Bosses 2′ doesn’t work

    By Jake Coyle | From Page: B2

    Review: ‘Madagascar’ spin-off hatches family fun

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Prison theater transforms Colombian inmates

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Singer John Mayer among ‘Late Late Show’ subs

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Reading Harry Potter gives clues to brain activity

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Talking songs with She & Him

    By Kim Durbin | From Page: B3

     
    Entertainment calendar Nov. 28, 2014

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B4

     
    Cosby testimony describes accuser’s spiked story

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

    .

    Sports

    College notebook: Many happy returns for Arizona’s Bondurant

    By Paul Farmer | From Page: B7 | Gallery

     
    Sherman’s big night leads Seattle past 49ers again

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7, 1 Comment | Gallery

    Rookie quarterback Carr is Raiders’ silver lining

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    US cities urged to keep price tags down for 2024

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

    5 investigated in FIFA WCup bid corruption probe

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    Johnson shines in Detroit’s 34-17 win over Chicago

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    Eagles roll over Cowboys 33-10 for NFC East lead

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    Signups for Friday, Nov. 28, 2014

    By Paul Farmer | From Page: B10

    No. 9 UCLA must overcome Stanford for Pac-12 title

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

     
    .

    Business

    Kia’s ‘Soulful’ first electric car

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

     
    Automakers aim to drive away car computer hackers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

    OPEC keeps oil output on hold despite low prices

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

     
    Google’s latest: A spoon that steadies tremors

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

    3 Reasons holiday shoppers will spend cautiously

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Deanna L. Haines

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

     
    Esther Ringler

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Zits

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Pickles

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Beetle Bailey

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Sally Forth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Frank and Ernest

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Get Fuzzy

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    For Better or Worse

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Rose is Rose

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Blondie

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Baby Blues

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Baldo

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Wizard of Id

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Garfield

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Dilbert

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    B.C.

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Peanuts

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Word Sleuth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

     
    Sudoku

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

    Crossword

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

     
    Cryptoquote

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

    Bridge

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9