Thursday, March 5, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I’m worried about my friend and his new girlfriend won’t let me talk to him

By
From page A7 | December 17, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I have been close friends with “Luke” for more than a year. We have a strong bond, but it’s strictly platonic. However, all that changed when he started dating “Lacey,” who, at age 20, is 10 years younger than Luke.

Naturally, when I first met Lacey, I was friendly. But there was something about her that put me off. Almost as soon as Luke started seeing her, she got him into partying all night and doing hard drugs and began alienating him from his friends and family. Despite our efforts to tell him that he was heading down a dark path, he ended up getting fired. Then he stopped contacting me.

After I hadn’t heard from him for two months, Luke called and said he missed our friendship and wanted to talk things out. He sounded like a broken man. I was thrilled that he was coming around. But shortly after he called, I got a nasty text from Lacey demanding that I stop speaking to Luke and saying he’s her man and she doesn’t want any other woman around him. I was startled and angered by her rudeness and told her that Luke is my friend and I have every right to talk to him. I told her to calm down and grow up.

I haven’t heard from Luke since, and I am worried. I tried calling, but his cellphone number has been disconnected. A mutual friend said that Luke’s email account was also cancelled. I have a feeling that Lacey is forcing him to cut ties with us and be totally dependent on her.

It’s out of character for him to abandon all the people who mean so much to him. He reads your column, and I can only hope that he can get away from this woman and know we are still here for him. — Worried Friend in Canada

Dear Canada: Lacey is isolating Luke from friends and family, which is descriptive of an abusive relationship, and it doesn’t help that he is using drugs. The sad part, however, is that there’s not much you can do if he is unwilling to seek help. Do you know where he lives? Is he in touch with any family members? If you can reach him, please give him the number of the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at 800-799-SAFE.

Dear Annie: I was taught the bride and groom had one year to send a handwritten thank-you note following a wedding. Shower gifts are to be acknowledged within two weeks of the bridal shower.

In the past two years, however, the closest I’ve gotten is a postcard with a wedding picture of the bride and groom on one side and “Thanks for everything” on the other. If a handwritten, proper thank-you note is too difficult, I would much prefer an email acknowledging my specific gift than a bulk mail postcard. — Appalled in Georgia

Dear Georgia: There is no excuse for not decently thanking those who have taken the time and effort to purchase a gift. It’s sheer laziness and lack of consideration.

However, we’d like to correct a common misperception: Guests have a year in which to give the bridal couple a gift, but thank-you notes should be written immediately, and certainly within three months.

Dear Annie: “Devastated Daughter” said her father died suddenly in an accident and she isn’t sure about leaving Mom alone to attend college out of state.

If she chooses to defer admission, I would advise her to wait a full year and start school in the fall so she can “learn the ropes” with the rest of her classmates. I enrolled in the second semester, and it was so much harder because my classmates were ahead of me in every way. And when I graduated in December, it was difficult to find a job. — Winter Graduate

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

     
    Show resilience in the face of adversity

    By Mayrene Bates | From Page: A2

     
    Students sample industry choices during school career fair

    By Glen Faison | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Real McCoy II Ferry set for maintenance

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

     
    Vacaville police slate annual awards ceremony

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

    Limited damage to apartment from carport fire

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Friday concert benefits Families Helping Families

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

     
    Vallejo police arrest 4 in connection with 3 killings

    By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A4

     
    National Red Cross Month celebrates heroes

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

     
    Il Fiorello schedules citrus class

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

    Jury convicts ex-con who served as own lawyer

    By Jess Sullivan | From Page: A4

     
    Red Carpet Gala to benefit theater foundation

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

    Pet remembrance event set in Vallejo

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

     
    Suisun City police log: Tuesday, March 3, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

    Fairfield police log: Tuesday, March 3, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

     
    .

    US / World

     
    Justices sharply divided over health care law subsidies

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

    ‘It was him': Defense admits Tsarnaev bombed Boston Marathon

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Children in Southern California breathing easier, study says

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Failures by 3 governments preceded homeless man’s death

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Second Los Angeles hospital reports ‘superbug’ infections

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

    More mutilated animals found in California’s capital city

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

     
    California lawmaker pushes child care worker vaccinations

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

     
    Obama signs Homeland Security funding bill into law

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

    House panel issues subpoena for Clinton’s personal emails

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Feds: Evidence backs Ferguson officer’s account in shooting

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    A defiant Alabama regains ground against gay marriage

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    How much sugar is in that? 7 foods with added sugar

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Microsoft co-founder says he found sunken Japan WWII warship

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

     
    Coal mine blast kills at least 24 in war-torn east Ukraine

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    .

    Living

    Today in History: March 5, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Community Calendar: March 5, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

    Horoscopes: March 5, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

     
    I can’t tell if I still want to be married, or just don’t want to be alone

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

    .

    Entertainment

    DiCaprio partners with Netflix for series of documentaries

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

     
    ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ tops MTV Movie Awards nominations

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

    Glen Campbell children fighting wife’s control of affairs

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

     
    .

    Sports

     
    Posey has 2-run double in Giants’ 9-2 loss to A’s

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

    Local report: Vanden softball slips by Rodriguez with late run

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

     
    Curry shoots Warriors to 102-93 victory over Bucks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Former player Nate Jackson calls for NFL to allow marijuana

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Phoenix to install tire barriers before NASCAR visit

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Pirelli sticks with same tire choices for first 4 F1 races

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    AP Source: Peyton Manning returning for 18th NFL season

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    NCAA reports big jump in home runs with new flat-seam ball

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    MLS, players agree in principle to 5-year deal

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Prosecutors can’t bring up Florida shooting in ex-NFLer case

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Vikings agree to trade Cassel to Bills

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Scott opens a season of change at Doral

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    ‘It WAS him': Defense admits Tsarnaev bombed Boston Marathon

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    With Peterson’s status in question, Vikings pay a visit

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    NFL stadium supporters in LA suburb file ballot paperwork

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Alex Johnson, AL batting champ in 1970, dies at age 72

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Goodell: NFL responsible for Super Bowl seating problems

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Aaron D. Malave

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    Thelma A. Roche

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    Cesar Luis Garcia-Regalado

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

     
    Rodolfo Landabora Porquez

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Garfield

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Rose is Rose

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    For Better or Worse

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Zits

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Blondie

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Wizard of Id

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Get Fuzzy

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Sally Forth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Peanuts

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Pickles

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Baldo

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Dilbert

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Baby Blues

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    Beetle Bailey

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Frank and Ernest

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    B.C.

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

    Bridge

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

     
    Word Sleuth

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

    Sudoku

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

     
    Cryptoquote

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

    Crossword

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9