Thursday, July 31, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I’m worried about my 78-year-old brother-in-law living alone in Florida

Dear Annie: My husband and I live in Minnesota. His 78-year-old stepbrother lives by himself in Florida. “Horace” has a part-time job and goes to church regularly, but otherwise sticks to himself. He has only a nodding acquaintance with the neighbors.

We are his only family. We are the ones who initiate phone calls and send cards on holidays. He never calls us. We used to email, but he stopped using his computer. Horace is healthy, but I worry so much about what will happen to him when his health declines. He has no one nearby who can help. If he became incapacitated or died suddenly, we’d be completely in the dark as to how to proceed with his financial affairs. He did give us a copy of his living will, and we know where his burial plot is, but that’s it.

My husband and his brother both think there’s no sense in worrying about things until they happen. But by then, it will be too late. I don’t know how to approach Horace about making plans for the inevitable. I once asked him to consider moving to Minnesota, but he didn’t respond, and besides, I doubt he’d actually come back to the cold after all this time. My husband won’t be retiring for another eight years, so it’s not as if we can take off and visit whenever. Where can we turn for help? — Losing Sleep in Minnesota

Dear Losing: You are kind to worry about Horace and smart to plan ahead, but there’s only so much you can do without his cooperation. Ask Horace whether he’d mind if you spoke to his neighbors to get their phone numbers and email addresses so you can contact them if he becomes unreachable. Perhaps Horace would allow you to make a copy of his house key in case of emergency. Visit his church and find out whether there is a program to check on the members who live alone. Also suggest to Horace that he leave financial information with his banker or lawyer. And should Horace become ill or require care, you could contact Eldercare Locator (800-677-1116; eldercare.gov) or ask about hiring a geriatric care manager (caremanager.org) to handle the details.

Dear Annie: Can I make a suggestion for people who are downsizing or for any other reason don’t want to keep old items around? Please tell them to consider photographing these things. That way, they still have a visual record but can discard the actual item. They also can scan these photographs and keep digital records.

This works particularly well if the items are pictures. They can simply scan them into their computer and give copies to as many people as might be interested. The photos can be printed out if you want or put into digital photo frames. I love watching pictures of my past pop up and cycle through on these frames. And getting rid of clutter was an added benefit. — Getting Organized for Retirement

Dear Organized: Folks often think they need to keep originals of everything, but unless your items are historically valuable and worth professional preservation, those family photographs will fade and old letters will disintegrate. Keeping digitized records is a good idea, although people should create a backup copy (whether on a flash drive, CD or cloud).

Dear Annie: I have a different take on “Tears in Vermont,” the couple whose son was a recovering addict and had moved away with his girlfriend and wanted no contact with his parents. “Tears” said their son lived with them until he was 30. It sounds as if the parents are enablers and may have been part of the problem.

It’s no coincidence that after moving away, he’s turned his life around. If they truly love that son and have a choice between estranged and clean, or in contact but an addict, they should be happy with estrangement. — Seen It Before

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Cities dealing with state drought rules

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Muralist helps locals ready for some painted wall history

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1 | Gallery

It’s ‘camping for 30′ at the Solano fair

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Rejection makes us each stronger

By Angela Borchert | From Page: A2

 
Highway 12 crash sends 2 to hospital

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

 
 
Police release name of Vallejo homicide victim

By Glen Faison | From Page: A4, 2 Comments | Gallery

Mall to host Ultimate Army Throw Down

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

 
Fairfield police log: July 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

Suisun City police log: July 29, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
.

US / World

Peace Corps evacuates over Ebola as 2 isolated

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Pipe break that flooded UCLA dumps 20M gallons

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Obama takes tougher line against Gaza casualties

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

 
AP Analysis: Amid war, endgames in Gaza emerge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

2 women survive ordeal along Indiana rail bridge

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Ex-IRS official called conservatives ‘crazies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments

Dissent quieted with most Israelis behind Gaza war

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Deadly Israeli strikes hit UN school, market area

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Crews work to keep Yosemite fire from sequoias

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

 
Sanctions will damage Russia if not lifted quickly

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

Clashes prevent experts from reaching bodies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Suing Obama: GOP-led House gives the go-ahead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12, 2 Comments

Congress cooperates – and fights – as recess nears

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Powell maybe not told early about CIA techniques

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

Editorial Cartoons: July 31, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

 
What happened to the US?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A11, 12 Comments

Am I blaming victims?

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A11, 4 Comments

 
Why ‘compassionate conservatism’ is still dead

By Ramesh Ponnuru | From Page: A11

 
Cruz gets border crisis wrong

By Ruben Navarrette | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

.

Living

Today in History for July 31, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: July 31, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

I want to change my daughters last name to my maiden name

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

 
Horoscopes for July 31, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Commentary: ‘Orphan Black,’ Emmy snubs and questions of identity

By Los Angeles Times | From Page: A6 | Gallery

Allison Williams headed skyward as NBC’s Peter Pan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Contract dispute delays ‘Big Bang’ production

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

.

Sports

Lloyd’s film watching impresses 49ers teammates

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
SF benefits from Pirates’ blunder, ends skid at 6

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Complete game shutout lifts Expos to State Tournament win

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Hammel fails again for Athletics in loss to Astros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Ray Guy’s long wait for Hall of Fame comes to end

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Raiders owner confirms talks with San Antonio

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Stanford star Ty Montgomery rehabbing shoulder

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Greg Ives to crew chief Earnhardt in 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Indians trade pitcher Masterson to Cardinals

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Riley speaks out, insists Heat will be competitive

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Nadal out of 2 tournaments because of right wrist

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Pipe break that flooded UCLA dumps 20M gallons

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Steelers to retire Hall of Famer Greene’s No. 75

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Fairfield-Suisun 6U Bobby Sox win titles

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B4

Usain Bolt in controversy at Commonwealth Games

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

US judge slaps $1.3B fine on Bank of America

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5, 1 Comment

 
A more vigorous US economy appears to be emerging

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

Overhaul approved for troubled California refinery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Judge says Crystal CEO should testify in lawsuit

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7, 1 Comment

.

Obituaries

Louise Scholten

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Ronald Witt Escue Sr.

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Scott Allen Shaver

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Clifford C. Hemler

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

.

Comics

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9