Monday, March 2, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I’m having trouble trusting my husband after I caught him in an emotional affair

Dear Annie: Four years ago, I caught my husband lying and cheating in an emotional affair (he says there was never any sex). He and this same woman had been cheating for 10 years. She is married with grown children. She never told her husband what she did, so she has gotten away with it.

We went to counseling, and it seems that my husband is on the straight and narrow. I love him dearly. We’ve been married for 25 years, have three wonderful children and get along wonderfully.

The problem is, I am always worried that he is still doing things behind my back with this woman. He swears up and down that he has no contact with her. He claims he caught her lying and doesn’t even want her as a friend. But I know he has forgiven her for lying at least three times before. I honestly do not believe what he tells me, and it is affecting my peace of mind.

I have considered moving just to get out of this small community where everyone knows everybody else. I want to punch her every time I run into her. Should I tell my husband how I feel? We have spoken about the past so many times that neither of us wants to bring it up again. He knows how much he hurt me. — Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed: Trust is difficult to regain, and it is made more complicated when your husband lives near the Other Woman. It is important that your husband be completely transparent in all of his dealings. Can you check his phone or email whenever you worry he is slipping back into old habits? If he hides things from you, you have cause for concern. But otherwise, please try to put your concerns in perspective. And don’t feel squeamish about discussing your worries with your husband, as long as you don’t make accusations that put him on the defensive. If necessary, go back for counseling and work on this.

Dear Annie: My cousin’s son recently married. Aside from my cousin’s immediate family, there were only a few family members invited to the wedding. It wasn’t a small wedding. There were at least 200 guests.

The problem is the way my cousin and her husband acted toward us. My cousin seemed upset all evening. She was fairly cordial, but acted stressed. Her husband, whom we’ve known for 35 years, did not greet or acknowledge our presence. He was cold and absolutely rude. They sat at our table and had nothing to say. While the bridesmaids gave speeches, they occupied themselves with their cellphones. We felt unwelcome. The bride barely looked our way and didn’t give us a chance to congratulate her, although the groom briefly greeted us.

I want to tell my cousin how rude her husband was, but I’m not sure how to approach her. How do we handle this? — N.J.

Dear N.J.: You are making a lot of assumptions about your cousin’s behavior. We think her stress and her husband’s coldness had nothing to do with you. More likely, their behavior was a result of wedding stress (and possibly the bride). And remember that sitting with the groom’s parents is a great honor. If they wanted to insult you, they would have seated you much farther away. Unless they do other things that are deliberately rude, please say nothing.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Boondoggled in Boise,” whose father refused to let the granddaughter see his coin collection and demanded it be sold through a third party. Why didn’t you suggest that the sons talk to the third party and buy the coins for fair market value?

Dad doesn’t need to know his kids are the buyers. He gets to sell the coins the way he wants, and the brothers get to keep them in the family. — Know About Difficult Relatives

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

    Whiteside ready to take Travis school board seat

    By Bill Hicks | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    World War II spy shares tales of work behind enemy lines

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    I love to ‘read’ audiobooks

    By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

     
    PublicStuff, an online app, set for Fairfield

    By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

     
    Beginning gardening series starts in March

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

    Literacy celebration returns this month

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Council to hear budget scenarios

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

     
    Fairfield High School celebrates black history

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Warm winter afternoon at Lagoon Valley Park

    By Steve Reczkowski | From Page: A3, 3 Comments | Gallery

    Free medical series targets senior health issues

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
    Pena Adobe hosts natural dye-making presentation

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

    IHOP takes part in National Pancake Day

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

     
    Local governments schedule meetings this week

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

    Vacaville 4-alarm house fIre

    By Steve Reczkowski | From Page: A4, 2 Comments | Gallery

     
    Weather for Monday, March 2, 2015

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B10

    Corner Store Gallery schedules open house

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

     
    .

    US / World

    Kerry tries to dampen fuss over Israeli PM’s speech

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Hundreds of bills introduced by California lawmakers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Storm brings rain, thunder, hail to Southern California

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

    California GOP recognizes gay faction of party

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

     
     
    Activists say Islamic State releases 19 Syrian Christians

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Sierra Leone’s vice president in quarantine for Ebola

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    30,000 marchers in Moscow mourn slain Putin foe

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Spacewalking astronauts finish extensive, tricky cable job

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Survey: Parents increasingly ask doctors to delay vaccines

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Newspaper: Nurse who survived Ebola says hospital failed her

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    Myanmar captures rare white elephant in western jungles

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Crowd kills girl suspected to be suicide bomber in Nigeria

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    New plane tracking to be tested after Malaysia jet mystery

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    .

    Opinion

     
    A night with a King

    By Delon Jackson | From Page: A8

    Your right to work for less

    By Mike Kirchubel | From Page: A8, 38 Comments

     
    Right fight in DC, but wrong reason

    By Colbert I. King | From Page: A8

    Editorial Cartoon: March 2, 2015

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Living

    Today in History: March 2, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Community Calendar: March 2, 2015

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

    Why timeouts only prolong the problem

    By The Washington Post | From Page: B5

     
    Horoscopes: March 3, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

    Horoscopes: March 2, 2015

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

     
    It’s never a good idea to point out how big a pregnant woman is

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

    .

    Entertainment

     
    Will Smith’s ‘Focus’ tops box office with $19.1 million

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

    Lady Gaga, Vince Vaughn take charity polar plunge in Chicago

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    TVGrid March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A10

    TVGrid March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B11

     
    .

    Sports

    Curry scores 37, leads Warriors from 26 down to beat Celtics

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Jimmie Johnson pulls away for another Atlanta Sprint Cup win

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Giants reliever Strickland insists he’s tranquil on mound

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Lillard, Aldridge lead Blazers past Kings for 3rd in a row

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Major league baseball’s 1st black Latino star Minoso dies

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Seller’s market for NHL teams as trade deadline nears

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Andy Sullivan wins Joburg Open for 2nd title this year

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    South Korea’s Amy Yang wins Honda LPGA Thailand

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Hannah hurls Bulldogs to 2-0 win over Campolindo

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

    Oregon women upset No. 19 Stanford 62-55

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Indians open season with 12-4 win over Falcons

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

    Oregon beats Stanford 73-70, clinches bye in Pac-12 tourney

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Process gets underway to carve up $60 million Sandusky fine

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Cal’s big run lifts Bears past Oregon State 73-56

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Former Washington basketball star Christian Welp dies at 51

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Sharks trade Sheppard to Rangers for draft pick

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    4,000 attend Jerry Tarkanian tribute in Las Vegas arena

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Garnett buys 1,000 tickets for fans for next T-wolves game

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Poulter, Casey share lead at rain-delayed Honda Classic

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Blatter concerned by Russian soccer racism before World Cup

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Broadcasters propose FIFA election debate to Blatter, rivals

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    This date in sports history for March 2, 2015

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez nearing 1st spring game

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    Fast and furious: Rousey looks to future after 14-second win

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

    .

    Business

    Mimi’s adds breakfast items to menu

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

     
    Samsung ditches plastic design, adds mobile pay in new phone

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

    In Apple’s latest update, emojis get diverse

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Jacqueline Mendes

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    Lester Singer

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Blondie March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    For Better or Worse March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Wizard of Id March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Pickles March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Peanuts March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    B.C. March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Baby Blues March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Rose is Rose March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Baldo March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Zits March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Garfield March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Sally Forth March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Get Fuzzy March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Frank and Ernest March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Dilbert March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

     
    Beetle Bailey March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

    Crossword March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

     
    Sudoku March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

    Cryptoquote March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

     
    Word Sleuth March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

    Bridge March 3

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

     
    Garfield March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Get Fuzzy March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Frank and Ernest March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Blondie March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Sally Forth March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Wizard of Id March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Baby Blues March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    B.C. March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Beetle Bailey March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Peanuts March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    For Better or Worse March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Dilbert March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Baldo March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Zits March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Rose is Rose March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

    Pickles March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

     
    Crossword March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

    Cryptoquote March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

     
    Sudoku March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

    Bridge March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

     
    Word Sleuth March 2

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7