Monday, April 20, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I’m having trouble trusting my husband after I caught him in an emotional affair

Dear Annie: Four years ago, I caught my husband lying and cheating in an emotional affair (he says there was never any sex). He and this same woman had been cheating for 10 years. She is married with grown children. She never told her husband what she did, so she has gotten away with it.

We went to counseling, and it seems that my husband is on the straight and narrow. I love him dearly. We’ve been married for 25 years, have three wonderful children and get along wonderfully.

The problem is, I am always worried that he is still doing things behind my back with this woman. He swears up and down that he has no contact with her. He claims he caught her lying and doesn’t even want her as a friend. But I know he has forgiven her for lying at least three times before. I honestly do not believe what he tells me, and it is affecting my peace of mind.

I have considered moving just to get out of this small community where everyone knows everybody else. I want to punch her every time I run into her. Should I tell my husband how I feel? We have spoken about the past so many times that neither of us wants to bring it up again. He knows how much he hurt me. — Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed: Trust is difficult to regain, and it is made more complicated when your husband lives near the Other Woman. It is important that your husband be completely transparent in all of his dealings. Can you check his phone or email whenever you worry he is slipping back into old habits? If he hides things from you, you have cause for concern. But otherwise, please try to put your concerns in perspective. And don’t feel squeamish about discussing your worries with your husband, as long as you don’t make accusations that put him on the defensive. If necessary, go back for counseling and work on this.

Dear Annie: My cousin’s son recently married. Aside from my cousin’s immediate family, there were only a few family members invited to the wedding. It wasn’t a small wedding. There were at least 200 guests.

The problem is the way my cousin and her husband acted toward us. My cousin seemed upset all evening. She was fairly cordial, but acted stressed. Her husband, whom we’ve known for 35 years, did not greet or acknowledge our presence. He was cold and absolutely rude. They sat at our table and had nothing to say. While the bridesmaids gave speeches, they occupied themselves with their cellphones. We felt unwelcome. The bride barely looked our way and didn’t give us a chance to congratulate her, although the groom briefly greeted us.

I want to tell my cousin how rude her husband was, but I’m not sure how to approach her. How do we handle this? — N.J.

Dear N.J.: You are making a lot of assumptions about your cousin’s behavior. We think her stress and her husband’s coldness had nothing to do with you. More likely, their behavior was a result of wedding stress (and possibly the bride). And remember that sitting with the groom’s parents is a great honor. If they wanted to insult you, they would have seated you much farther away. Unless they do other things that are deliberately rude, please say nothing.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Boondoggled in Boise,” whose father refused to let the granddaughter see his coin collection and demanded it be sold through a third party. Why didn’t you suggest that the sons talk to the third party and buy the coins for fair market value?

Dad doesn’t need to know his kids are the buyers. He gets to sell the coins the way he wants, and the brothers get to keep them in the family. — Know About Difficult Relatives

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
Residents roll dice for scholarship dollars

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Speaking event set to motivate students

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A3

 
Pet adoptions popular at home, garden show

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
Celebrate Rush Ranch’s 25th annual open house

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

Standalone: Egrets move into Dover Park

By Steve Reczkowski | From Page: A3, 6 Comments | Gallery

 
Jelly Belly to celebrate National Jelly Bean Day

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Local government to conduct public’s business

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Nonprofits don’t tap into beer garden offer

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4, 2 Comments

 
Fairfield police log: April 18, 2015

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

 
Suisun City police log: April 18, 2015

By Glen Faison | From Page: A9

Biz Buzz: Watson makes partner at law firm

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

 
Biz Buzz: Visit Vacaville announces tourism dinner

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A10

Biz Buzz: Retail space sells in Dixon

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

 
Weather for Monday, April 20, 2015

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B12

.

US / World

California delta smelt survey turns up only 1 fish

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 4 Comments

 
Officials: Cooking fire started California wildfire

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Pill-taking can be less yucky for kids, study review finds

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Empty chairs honor 168 victims of Oklahoma City bombing

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Reagan shooter finds rejection, indifference in future home

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Tank named “Beautiful Bulldog” in Iowa contest

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Video: Islamic State kills Ethiopian Christians in Libya

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Report: Kuwait discovers 4 new oil fields in kingdom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Survivor: Smugglers locked hundreds in hold of capsized boat

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: April 20, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in history: Monday, April 20, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Horoscopes: April 20, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B6

Randall: When mothers need to pray for themselves

By Sharon Randall | From Page: B8

 
Horoscopes: April 21, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B8

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A10

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

Lambert wins 4, but Luke Bryan take top prize at ACM Awards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Bobby Brown tells concert goers his ailing daughter is awake

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Select winners from the 50th annual ACM Awards

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
‘Furious 7′ speeds ahead of the competition

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

.

Sports

Athletics furious after 4-2 loss and 5 Royals’ ejections

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Pelicans’ Tyreke Evans questionable for Game 2 vs. Warriors

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Pelicans’ Anthony Davis more comfortable heading into Game 2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Matt Kenseth ends 51-race drought with win at rainy Bristol

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Slumping Giants drop 9th in 10 games, 5-1 to Diamondbacks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Djokovic beats Berdych in Monte Carlo Masters final

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
AP Sources: Tim Tebow expected to sign with Eagles on Monday

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Sei Young Kim holes out from fairway to win in Hawaii

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Volvo Ocean Race fleet sets out on 6th leg toward US

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Thailand’s Kiradech wins Shenzhen in playoff

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
For Boston winner Meb Keflezighi, a year of thanks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Browne wins rain-shortened Greater Gwinnett Championship

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Jim Furyk tops Kevin Kisner in playoff to win RBC Heritage

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Hamilton wins Bahrain GP ahead of Raikkonen and Rosberg

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Toronto GM Masai Ujiri and team fined for expletive

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Can Bryant live up to expectations as next rookie star?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Ohio State’s Ezekiel Elliott wins AAU Sullivan Award

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Scott Dixon wins Grand Prix of Long Beach

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Korver scores 21, Hawks hold off pesky Nets 99-92 in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

“Big 3″ lead Cavaliers past Celtics 113-100 in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
For Pelicans and Bucks, there were lessons in Game 1 losses

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

CP3, Griffin lead Clippers past Spurs 107-92 in opener

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Grizzlies never trail, rout Trail Blazers 100-86 in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
This date in sports history for April 20

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

.

Business

Researcher denied flight after tweet poking United security

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
.

Obituaries

Dennis Burkhart von Ting

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Frances Bayona Lozano

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Garfield April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
B.C. April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

For Better or Worse April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Rose is Rose April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Bridge April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Wizard of Id April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Baldo April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Beetle Bailey April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Baby Blues April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Frank and Ernest April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Get Fuzzy April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Blondie April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Pickles April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Sally Forth April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Zits April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Dilbert April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Peanuts April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Sudoku April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Cryptoquote April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Crossword April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Word Sleuth April 20

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
B.C. April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Rose is Rose April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Wizard of Id April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Blondie April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Frank and Ernest April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Beetle Bailey April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Baldo April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Baby Blues April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Zits April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

For Better or Worse April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Pickles April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Dilbert April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7, 1 Comment

 
Get Fuzzy April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Sally Forth April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Garfield April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

Peanuts April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
Crossword April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B8

Cryptoquote April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B8

 
Word Sleuth April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B8

Sudoku April 21

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B8