Friday, December 19, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I was born a male, but my thoughts are that of a female

Dear Annie: I’m a 58-year-old male. Ever since my early 20s, I’ve been confused about which sex I truly am. Of course, I was born a male, but my thoughts and feelings are that of a female. There is nothing about being a male that interests me. I’m thinking about getting hormone shots to become more female.

I’ve lived with this issue all of my life, but maybe it’s too late for me now. Do you have any suggestions or information? — Unknown Gender

Dear Unknown: It is not too late for you to work on this, and we recommend you get more information before starting hormone shots. You can find resources and support on transgender issues through the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center (gaycenter.org) and the American Psychological Association (apa.org), which can answer many of your questions and point you in the right direction.

Dear Annie: Two years ago, our youngest daughter married a wonderful young man. We adore this guy, and he is a loving and caring husband. The problem is his parents. Neither his family nor ours is wealthy, and from the early stages of wedding planning, we worked to stay within a budget.

Our family is small, and his is large, which put the dinner over budget. We all met prior to the wedding, and the groom’s parents assured us they would pay for the additional guests from their side of the family. At the end of the evening, my husband paid the catering bill. The next day, the groom’s father thanked us for all of the planning and effort that went into making the day so special and added that he would be sending us a check to cover the dinner.

That was two years ago, and we have yet to receive a dime. Our new son-in-law asked his father several times whether he had settled up with us, and he said he absolutely would, but it hasn’t happened.

We love this young man dearly, and I’m afraid if we say anything now, he will take it upon himself to pay us, and it’s not his responsibility. My husband has worked hard his whole life, and at the age of 70, he is very set in his ways. He judges a man by his word, and now he wants nothing to do with our daughter’s in-laws.

Should I send them a note asking them to pay, even after all this time? I’m afraid that when future grandchildren come, it will be tense and unpleasant to be around each other because of this unpaid bill. — Sad Mother-in-Law

Dear Sad: We’re going to give the in-laws the benefit of the doubt and assume they forgot. Even with the best of intentions and a few reminders, people can let things slip out of their heads. We suggest you send a note to the other parents (both of them), saying that you were going through your checkbook and noticed that this account was still unsettled. Ask when would be convenient for you to come by and pick up the check. (If they live out of state, ask them when you can expect it in the mail.) If you think they are having financial difficulties, you could offer an installment plan. Be sure to add some kind words about their wonderful son and how thrilled you are to have him in the family. We hope they come through.

Dear Annie: I have a suggestion for “Confused,” whose husband refuses to give her an allowance or spending money. She stated that she is 59 years old, worked for 30 years but was unable to continue due to ill health.

I suggest she immediately contact her local Social Security office and file a claim. As a former disability examiner, I can tell you that her age, work record and disability should be sufficient to collect benefits. — B.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. 

 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Articles

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    Solano News

     
    Sondheim’s ‘Woods’ holiday showcase for Missouri Street Theatre

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Groundbreakings, ribbon-cuttings play role in civic life

    By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Frankye Kelly ready to spread holiday cheer

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

     
    Celebrate the magic of Christmas

    By Tony Wade | From Page: A2

     
     
    Safe streets task force work nets 3

    By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

    Santas have busy week at schools

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

     
     
    Solano College approves officers, meeting schedule

    By Susan Winlow | From Page: A4

    Longtime Suisun harbor master to retire

    By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4

     
    Mosquito abatement district board has opening

    By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4

     
    Fairfield police log: Dec. 17, 2014

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

     
    Suisun City police log: Dec. 17, 2014

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

    Police arrest 2nd suspect in Fairfield credit union robbery

    By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    US / World

    Digital dilemma: How will US respond to Sony hack?

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Rubio, other Congressional Cubans step up Obama criticism

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

    Spy’s parents search for son after Cuba-US deal

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Hope and some fear in Cuba amid thaw with US

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

    Next steps on Cuba: Normalizing could take awhile

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Sony hacking fallout puts all companies on alert

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

    Sony film took aim at North Korea’s biggest taboo

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

     
    Timeline of the Sony Pictures Entertainment hack

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

    ‘Pretty horrible’ scene; car slams into crowd

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    San Francisco Bay Bridge fasteners not in danger of failing

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Police: Drunk man shot while entering wrong house

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

     
    CHP, Oakland in tiff over plainclothes officers at protests

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Local emergencies in Northern California counties after rain

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

     
    California’s top utility regulator defends record

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

    Tsarnaev appears in court for 1st time since 2013

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

     
    President signs legislation ending Nazi benefit checks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    Feds sue NYC over Rikers Island jail violence

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

     
    2 states challenge Colorado marijuana legalization

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

    ‘Prison Houdini’ set to make his 1st legal escape

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

     
    Top Islamic militants killed; more US troops going to Iraq

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

    Russian sailors leaving France without warship

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

     
    Putin: West wants to defang, declaw Russian bear

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

    Suspected Islamic extremists kidnap 185 in Nigeria

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

     
    European court rules obesity can be a disability

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

    .

    Opinion

    America’s response to the torture report shameful

    By Clive Crook | From Page: A11

     
    Another look at school bonds

    By George Guynn Jr. | From Page: A11

    Editorial Cartoon: Dec. 19, 2014

    By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A11

     
    News of the day strikes a chord

    By Bud Stevenson | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Living

    Today in History: Dec. 19, 2014

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Community Calendar: Dec. 19, 2014

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

    Horoscopes: Dec. 19, 2014

    By Holiday Mathis | From Page: D8

     
    Should I use Child Protective Services threat to get back rent?

    By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: D8

    .

    Entertainment

    Week in preview Dec. 19-25, 2014

    By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: B1

     
    Sweet ‘Night at the Museum’ bids farewell to Robin Williams

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Review: ‘The Hobbit’ wraps with a Middle Earth melee

    By Jake Coyle | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Craig Ferguson to end 10 years as host of ‘Late Late Show’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    Eric Idle brings ‘Not the Messiah’ to Carnegie Hall

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Entertainment calendar Dec. 19, 2014

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: B4

    .

    Sports

    49ers’ Harbaugh mum on reported offer from Michigan

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    49ers’ Aldon Smith hopes to build off tough year

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

    A’s trade All-Star catcher Derek Norris to Padres

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    Warriors beat Thunder 114-109 after Durant injury

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    A’s acquire lefty De La Rosa from Arizona for cash

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

    Raiders defense depleted by injuries

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

     
    Column: Thaw in US-Cuba relations warms up MLB

    By Jim Litke | From Page: B8

    Rivera: Newton ‘probably’ will start vs. Browns

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    Bears bench QB Jay Cutler for Clausen

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    ‘Hands Up’ players to attend Ferguson Christmas party

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    Celtics trade Rondo to Mavericks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    Rodriguez boys open Les Curry Tournament with victory

    By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B8

     
    39 bowl games and a reason to watch every one

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    Signups for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

    By Paul Farmer | From Page: B9

     
    This date in sports history for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B11

    Sports on TV/Local sports for Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

    By Paul Farmer | From Page: B11

     
    .

    Business

    Roomiest Subaru Legacy debuts for 2015

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: C1

     
    Dow industrials have their best day in three years

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

    Ford expands drivers air bag recall nationwide

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    Constantly changing online prices stump shoppers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

    .

    Obituaries

    Patricia “Pat” Anne Stringfield-Pierre

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    Lisa Dee McHughes

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    Dominic C. Scolaro

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

     
    Ernest “Ernie” Moretti

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    Travis Curt Price

    By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

     
    Jennie Ponce Reyes

    By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics