Sunday, March 29, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I want Todd to stop talking to his ex unless its about their son

Dear Annie: I have been with my husband for six years. “Todd” has a son from a prior relationship, and I have two daughters from my first marriage. We also have a daughter together.

Todd’s ex constantly calls and texts him, and it’s never about their son, who lives with his grandparents. I say Todd should cut down on communication with her unless it’s about their child. But anytime I bring it up, he gets defensive.

Annie, this woman has caused so many issues in our relationship. She told me she’d slept with Todd two years after it supposedly happened. I found out from a few friends that this was completely false.

Todd says he feels obligated to be friendly with his ex because she was a mess after they broke up. He never lets me know when she calls or texts, but from his reactions, I know it’s her on his cellphone. My best friend, who also knows the ex, has confirmed their repeated contact.

I’m so stressed over this. Any advice? — Lost in California

Dear Lost: The ex seems determined to interfere in your marriage. She would be irrelevant if Todd would stop permitting her to believe she has a chance to win him back. When he refuses to set boundaries, he encourages her behavior. Explain this to Todd and ask why he is willing to undermine your marriage for the sake of his ex. “Guilt” is an insufficient reason. He is not helping his ex get over him when he allows this to continue. The next step is counseling, alone or together.

Dear Annie: I had to respond to “Not a Prude” and “Another Woman Speaking Out,” who said they are disgusted with the appearance of females on national news programs wearing low-cut blouses and short dresses. All of my male friends and I have our own opinion on this subject.

There is nothing more attractive and sexy than a smart, knowledgeable professional female in today’s business environment. If that female happens to be good-looking with a nice figure and great legs, it is an asset she needs to use.

I suspect most of us guys would not watch a news program if the women, regardless of their abilities, were fat and ugly or wore only long pants and suit jackets. That’s just the way it is. — Bob in North Carolina

Dear Bob: Well, we give you points for honesty, but your attitude is the very definition of sexist. Women in the media are role models for young girls and should look professional – just like the men. Preferring a newscast that presents women as sex symbols indicates a mindset that hasn’t evolved since the 1950s.

Women have spent decades trying to banish such old-fashioned thinking. Today’s parents would not appreciate others judging their daughters’ professional capabilities by whether they also are eye candy. The fact that some women are willing to debase themselves in order to be hired and admired by men like you does not make it appropriate or acceptable and only underscores the pressure many women still feel to conform to such outdated attitudes.

Dear Annie: I am writing in response to “Betsey,” who said kids shouldn’t have to tell their parents when they are traveling or where. My parents also went on small trips lasting several days. Dad loved that we did not know where they were. On their last secret adventure, my brother was in a horrific accident and died. We desperately tried to locate our parents, but they did not carry a cellphone.

Bad things happen. Let someone know how to reach you. Keep emergency medical information (medications, doctors, insurance, emergency contact, etc.) with you, and give a copy to someone in case you cannot speak for yourself. — Still Sad

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Vanden High library project nears completion

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Vanden girls end stellar season

By Brian Arnold | From Page: C1 | Gallery

Cheers for Jupiter – and roller derby

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2

 
Vacaville police make arrest after pursuit

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Red Cross volunteers help assemble first aid kits

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
PG&E helps replace stolen equipment

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3

Justin-Siena names new principal

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3

 
Free paper shredding option returns to Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Vacaville bridal, quinceanera show a hit

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5

Event benefits child who attends Cambridge School

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Best barometer of investment success: Wealth

By Mark Sievers | From Page: B8

Hike in minimum wage cuts deep into businesses

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: B8

 
Tips on hydrozoning your garden

By Tina Saravia | From Page: B8, 1 Comment

 
Fairfield police log: March 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: March 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Gang chief, international fugitive among dozens paroled

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Experts: Sex bias case will embolden women despite verdict

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Crash victim’s father calls for more focus on pilot welfare

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Man rescued after falling 200 feet off California sea cliff

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Popular Yosemite National Park lookout opens early in season

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
Eiffel Tower goes dark in symbolic move for Earth Hour

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Bird flu found in a top Minnesota turkey producing county

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Some British Airways frequent flier accounts miles breached

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

7 shot and injured at Florida spring break house party

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Boko Haram kills 39, legislator, disrupting Nigeria election

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Official: Al-Shabab siege at Somali hotel ends, 24 dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Hundreds rally against Indiana law, say it’s discriminatory

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Islamic fighters led by al-Qaida in Syria seize major city

By The Associated Press | From Page: A13

 
.

Opinion

Thanks for making prom dreams come true

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Free speech a right worth protecting

By Dan Walters | From Page: A8

Liberty, property rights 2 sides of same coin

By Brian Thiemer | From Page: A8

 
Sound Off: March 29, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
Improve Allan Witt Park; how about rest of Fairfield?

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

.

Living

Today in History: March 29, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: March 29, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Pope finds popularity and dissent at 2-year mark

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

 
Truth does not change

By The Rev. Art Zacher | From Page: C3

Horoscopes: March 29, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B8

 
Daughter choses stepdad over father to walk her down the aisle

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B8

.

Entertainment

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Second Julie Andrews memoir expected in 2017

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Chrissie Hynde memoir coming in September

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B12

.

Sports

 
Warriors beat Bucks 108-95, clinch top seed in West

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Wisconsin heads to Final Four after 85-78 win over Arizona

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Burns scores winner in SO to lift Sharks past Flyers, 3-2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Power leads Penske sweep in qualifying for IndyCar opener

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Revolution win first of season, beating Earthquakes 2-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Jenest pitches SCC baseball team to shutout of Contra Costa

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

AP sources: Texas fires coach Barnes after 17 years

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Kazmir, Quintana both strong; A’s beat White Sox 10-4

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Zunino homers twice, but Giants rally to edge Mariners 9-8

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Gordon, Earnhardt among the winners and fans of Martinsville

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Prince Bishop wins Dubai World Cup, California Chrome 2nd

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Serena Williams easily wins opening match at Miami Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Jimmy Walker leads hometown Texas Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
.

Business

A glance at women in leadership roles in business worldwide

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
For business, more women in charge means bigger profits

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

US drillers scrambling to thwart OPEC threat

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
Test trial to use computer servers to heat homes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B14

.

Obituaries

Robert Roberts

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Janice Jewel Thompson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Betty Mason

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Tiffany Lyn (Helzer) Kemp

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Richard F. Coleman

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
James Lee Lewis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Helen Kalis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Carol A. Vose

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics